Moms and Maids

Sister has conflicting date with my bachelorette party. What should I do?

I need some major advice! I am having my bachelorette party next summer and picked a date that would be in between my school semesters. I checked the date with all of my bridesmaids and my sister (who is my maid of honor) over two months ago, and everyone agreed on the date. A couple of weeks ago my sister called me in a panic and said she suddenly realized she had told a very close friend she would attend her wedding on the same weekend. My sister is not in the actual wedding, and no save the dates have even been sent yet. She asked me if there was any way I could move my date because she really wants to attend this wedding, or if I would be upset if she left my bachelorette party (which is in Mexico) a couple of days early to try to make it to a wedding. I am pretty upset because if it were my sister's bachelorette party, I would never consider asking her to move her date for my friend's wedding that I am not even in, especially since it is 6 months away. I just don't know what the right move is, and I don't particularly want to go through the hassle of trying to move my date just to convenience her lack of planning when I asked her multiple times to confirm my date, and I am pretty upset that she is even asking me to do this. Just hoping for some enlightenment on what I should do! 

Answers

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Tell your sister that if she has to leave your bach party early then that is fine.  You need to realize that people have lives outside of your wedding and pre-wedding parties and that things can pop up even after you have confirmed dates.  Look, this is your bach party, not your wedding.  Is it crappy that your sister asked you to move your dates around?  Yes.  Should you waste any more time being upset about it?  Nope.  She most likely asked that because she doesn't want to not attend your bach party.  Sometimes people ask things without even thinking and don't realize that they are being rude. Tell your sister that you will not be able to move your party and that you understand her having to possibly leave early to attend her friends wedding.

    And remember that not everyone uses STDs so those not being sent doesn't mean anything.  Also, this may be a good friend of your sisters and she may really want to see her good friend get married.  That isn't a bad thing.  She wants to be there for her friend. 
    I need some major advice! I am having my bachelorette party next summer and picked a date that would be in between my school semesters. I checked the date with all of my bridesmaids and my sister (who is my maid of honor) over two months ago, and everyone agreed on the date. A couple of weeks ago my sister called me in a panic and said she suddenly realized she had told a very close friend she would attend her wedding on the same weekend. My sister is not in the actual wedding, and no save the dates have even been sent yet. She asked me if there was any way I could move my date because she really wants to attend this wedding, or if I would be upset if she left my bachelorette party (which is in Mexico) a couple of days early to try to make it to a wedding. I am pretty upset because if it were my sister's bachelorette party, I would never consider asking her to move her date for my friend's wedding that I am not even in, especially since it is 6 months away. I just don't know what the right move is, and I don't particularly want to go through the hassle of trying to move my date just to convenience her lack of planning when I asked her multiple times to confirm my date, and I am pretty upset that she is even asking me to do this. Just hoping for some enlightenment on what I should do! 


    [Deleted User]
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Don't reschedule for your sister.  Yeah, it sucks that she suddenly told you after you asked her several times that the date doesn't work for her, but just tell her that the date is fixed but you're okay with her leaving early for the other wedding.
  • Just let her leave early.  It sounds like your sister is willing to compromise as much as she can to attend both events.  If she's willing to do that, it doesn't seem like a stretch on your part to be okay with her leaving a few days early.  Just focus on enjoying the time she can spend with you, and perhaps choosing one or two specific things to do together to make the most of the time you do have.
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    Anniversary


  • I think it's awesome that she's putting a friend's wedding in front of a party.  It shows how important she finds weddings and that she'll be putting your wedding in front of all kinds of other things that could be happening around that time.  
    Lottery Guy; "We're going to send you on an all-expenses-paid trip around the world!"
    Your sister:  "Wow, that sounds awesome, but that is my sister's wedding weekend so I won't be able to accept."
  • Tell her you're fine with it. What are you going to do? Tell her she can't attend her friend's wedding because of your multi-day Mexico bachelorette? That would stink of bridezilla to me. Just let her know she should come and go whenever it makes sense and you're just happy she's trying to make things work. 

    Also, are you planning your own bachelorette party?
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    MairePoppy
  • It's a bachelorette party. She's not missing your wedding. Get a grip. Planning a bachelorette party one year in advance is the problem here. Who planned this anyway?

    I don't think it's rude of her to ask for change of dates unless deposits have been made and days off requested. She obviously knows how upset you'd be for missing out on your bachelorette party and she's trying to find a way to compromise.

    I don't see what being in the wedding or not has to do with the desire to attend a wedding. I'd be insulted if a friend of mine didn't attend simply because she wasn't in the bridal party. It's just an odd argument.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    You want to know if she can leave a party that is lasting several DAYS out of the country early? Why is this even a question?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I agree that you should either move your plans (you have plenty of time, after all the friends' wedding is 6 months away) or you should be fine with her leaving early (it sounds like you are going on a multi-day vacation out of the country??)
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