The 10 Compliments Mission, Spinoff of larrygaga's body love thread!

novella1186

So @larrygaga said in her thread about body love and struggles that she sometimes feels better after saying 10 good things about her body. Many of us responded that based on her ephotos we could EASILY say 10 good things about her body because she's gorgeous and shouldn't feel bad. But also many of us said we struggle with our own devastating body issues. This got me thinking... maybe part of the image problem women struggle with is that we're so quick to snark, criticize, and make negative comments, but we're not so quick to compliment. I can personally say I'm guilty of this.

A lot of times, someone walks past me at work and I think "wow she looks so good in yellow" or "damn her hair looks amazing today" but I don't say it out loud. Why? I think women should focus less on tearing each other down and focus more on pointing out each others' positives. (Tina Fey-esque)

@larrygaga, you have inspired me. For the next 24 hours, I'm going to compliment 10 people. Honest, genuine compliments. Whether it's women at work, someone on facebook, the lady next to me at the super market, or my fellow Knotties.

I'm constantly trying to work on myself, do some self-reflection, and strive to be a decent person. I have many flaws. I've said before, I do shit wrong all the time, and I don't always like the person I am. But I am going to love this mission. My goal is to make 10 people smile, or feel a little better about themselves, or  at the very least just appreciate the compliment for a moment. At the very best, maybe they'll feel inclined to also go and honestly compliment someone.

I am so excited about this!

novella1186

@ClimbingBrideNY you're my compliment #1!

I don't mean to seem stalker-ish cuz I already said something similar to this in the body love thread, but I feel like an ass for not saying it right off the bat since I was thinking it. You put your wedding photos as your siggy (or whatever it's called) and I think you look fucking amazing. I'm so so jealous of your gorgeous hair, and you look curvy and beautiful!

esstee33

novella1186 said:

@ClimbingBrideNY you're my compliment #1!

I don't mean to seem stalker-ish cuz I already said something similar to this in the body love thread, but I feel like an ass for not saying it right off the bat since I was thinking it. You put your wedding photos as your siggy (or whatever it's called) and I think you look fucking amazing. I'm so so jealous of your gorgeous hair, and you look curvy and beautiful!

Ditto this so hard! It pained me to read that you felt insecure after the idiot vendor called you fat. You have such a bangin' bod, @ClimbingBrideNY. 

We really all should be more complimentary of each other. It's easy to forget that everyone struggles with self-image from time to time, even those drop-dead gorgeous girls you'd never imagine have insecurities just like the rest of us. 

Jells2dot0

Fabulous idea!

lc07

I think this is a really awesome idea. I've begun a project where I am writing letters to people's bosses or higher-ups when people are kind and helpful to me in their place of business. Even if it's just the produce person going out of their way to be extra nice to me. 

Not saying you aren't doing this, but I think it's also really important to compliment people on their character and not just on their looks. We have much more control over our character and IMO it's something to be proud of more.

climbingsingle

novella1186 said:

@ClimbingBrideNY you're my compliment #1!

I don't mean to seem stalker-ish cuz I already said something similar to this in the body love thread, but I feel like an ass for not saying it right off the bat since I was thinking it. You put your wedding photos as your siggy (or whatever it's called) and I think you look fucking amazing. I'm so so jealous of your gorgeous hair, and you look curvy and beautiful!

This is so sweet. Thank you! This really did make me smile, and I needed that today. Again, thank you!!!

larrygaga

I will do this as well!!!! 

You guys are so wise and such an inspiration for all women ever (mostly me, maybe). I am seriously saving all of the wise advice you guys had for when I have another bad day. 

MagicInk. Seriously, I wish you taught a class about life because I would be front row seat taking notes 15 minutes early every day. 

jdluvr06

I love this. My first compliment is to @Jells2dot0‌ . You have faced so much this year and have handled yourself with more grace and dignity than most people show when they are at their best. I am simply amazed at how strong you are.

WinstonsGirl

Great idea.  One of my favourite things to do at work is to compliment my students (real compliments).  They don't say stuff like that to their friends, and it always means a lot to the kids (girls especially) when you tell them something nice about them.  12-14 is so awkward for so many of them.  

themuffinman16

I want to compliment @Senecaf wherever she is. She has guts and strength, and I hope her new life is full of peace and beauty.

levieenrose

I love this idea. I've been doing this my whole life--I don't have much of a filter when it comes to giving compliments, even to strangers.

There are people who will have difficulty accepting your compliments, especially those with higher stress and self-esteem issues. Those people should be hearing what you have to say, but sometimes knowing when and where to compliment will do the best good (in which social situations will it make the most impact to the reciever? Will talking about those compliments with others who can help reinforce the idea be useful? Will this compliment have a longer shelf-life if I write it down so the reciever may refer back to it? Should it be spontaneous every time? etc.)

@Ic07, I did something similar recently--I wrote to thank a colleague for her amazing dilligence and thoughtfulness in the workplace after an event for which such a comment was appropriate. She's someone who is easily overlooked. I copied her supervisor on the email. Her supervisor chose to respond to the missive and not only offered further encouragement to her, but he copied the human resources department on the full thread, including all my specific examples.  

climbingsingle

I want to compliment @JCBride2015 for planning a wedding AND passing the bar. She is a rockstar. And she looks amazing in her wedding dress. Rawr. 

raissyrais

My first compliment goes to @Jells2dot0 : You're a super trooper and you're beautiful and keep staying strong!

@larrygaga : I will not say it enough but here it is! You are gorgeous. Thos e-pics of yours are stunning. I'm telling you again to wear that skimpy bikini with pride!

@ClimbingBrideNY : Whoever told you you were fat can go suck a massive egg. You are as beautiful as they come

@loveislouder: If you're around, I'd like to tell you that you will definitely have the strength to go through your issues. Rock on!

ashley8918

What a fantastic idea! I have a ton. Note to self: come back after work.

novella1186

lolo883!  

I love reading your posts. Your snark and wit is hilarious, and I love that your responses are always logical, plus you give awesome advice! 

ShesSoCold

I love this idea!!! I'm one of those uncomfortable compliment-getters like a PP said. People at the store have complimented me on my hair and I just kind of "uh....thanks..?". I also should work on responding better. 

ETA because I swear I speak English

ashley8918

ShesSoCold said:

I love this idea!!! I'm one of those uncomfortable compliment-getters like a PP said. People at the store have compliment me on my hair and I just kind of "uh....thanks..?". I also should work on responding better. 

I am the WORST compliment accepter. I have this nasty habit of calling people liars or discounting their compliment in some way. I don't even think about it, it just happens

emmaaa

ashley8918 said:

ShesSoCold said:

I love this idea!!! I'm one of those uncomfortable compliment-getters like a PP said. People at the store have compliment me on my hair and I just kind of "uh....thanks..?". I also should work on responding better. 

I am the WORST compliment accepter. I have this nasty habit of calling people liars or discounting their compliment in some way. I don't even think about it, it just happens

FI hates this about me. He will give me a compliment and I automatically respond with, "No, I'm not." He said it makes him feel bad that I don't just accept his compliment. I'm like how am I supposed to respond?

"Oh thanks!"

But I do really like this idea!

novella1186

One of my dad's friends (who's like an uncle to me) saw me after I came back from college and said I'd grown up gorgeous. All I said back was "no." and he gave me a weird look lol. I learned to just say "thank you!" after that happened. 

KatieinBkln

emmaaa said:

ashley8918 said:

ShesSoCold said:

I love this idea!!! I'm one of those uncomfortable compliment-getters like a PP said. People at the store have compliment me on my hair and I just kind of "uh....thanks..?". I also should work on responding better. 

I am the WORST compliment accepter. I have this nasty habit of calling people liars or discounting their compliment in some way. I don't even think about it, it just happens

FI hates this about me. He will give me a compliment and I automatically respond with, "No, I'm not." He said it makes him feel bad that I don't just accept his compliment. I'm like how am I supposed to respond?

"Oh thanks!"

But I do really like this idea!

Haha, love the Mean Girls gifs. But I think you could go with "You are so kind to say so!" if you don't want to sound all "Yes, indeed I am, lovely of you to notice."

My compliment is to @Beethery for being so funny and correct all the damn time.

lacqueredlover

I love this!  I try to compliment a stranger every day.  I usually do it on the subway on my way to work!  I know how much it makes me smile when someone does it to me!

novella1186

KatieinBkln said:

Haha, love the Mean Girls gifs. But I think you could go with "You are so kind to say so!" if you don't want to sound all "Yes, indeed I am, lovely of you to notice."

My compliment is to @Beethery for being so funny and correct all the damn time.

I totally second this! I feel like we can just go ahead and declare Beethery Queen of TK 

KatieinBkln

lacqueredlover said:

I love this!  I try to compliment a stranger every day.  I usually do it on the subway on my way to work!  I know how much it makes me smile when someone does it to me!

Oh, that is a great idea. I am such an insufferable bitch (in my mind, not outwardly) on my commute; trying to actively be nice to people seems like a good antidote.

lacqueredlover

KatieinBkln said:

lacqueredlover said:

I love this!  I try to compliment a stranger every day.  I usually do it on the subway on my way to work!  I know how much it makes me smile when someone does it to me!

Oh, that is a great idea. I am such an insufferable bitch (in my mind, not outwardly) on my commute; trying to actively be nice to people seems like a good antidote.

Yeah that's basically how I feel, I'm usually all rushed and cranky so if I can look up and tell someone I love their lipstick or their hair looks great or they have a cute coat, I find it actually helps me start my day in a better way!

climbingsingle

novella1186 said:

KatieinBkln said:

Haha, love the Mean Girls gifs. But I think you could go with "You are so kind to say so!" if you don't want to sound all "Yes, indeed I am, lovely of you to notice."

My compliment is to @Beethery for being so funny and correct all the damn time.

I totally second this! I feel like we can just go ahead and declare Beethery Queen of TK 

Beeth is my homegirl. 

beethery

Y'all are fuckin' killing me today. I ain't the queen of no damn thing (sighs of relief from around the world) but I appreciate everything you all said. I am only as rad as you motherfuckers are, which says a lot about all of us. I have learned a LOT from y'all, and stolen approximately ten billion gifs.

raissyrais

beethery said:

SITB

And we love you back boo!

VulgarGirl

larrygaga said:

MagicInk. Seriously, I wish you taught a class about life because I would be front row seat taking notes 15 minutes early every day. 

I would be late everyday, there would be lots of cussing, and I hope someone would bring booze.

I'm gonna compliment @pinkrevenge because she's a BAMF who got shit handled in her apartments and tried to help a kitty and then fought back when the kitty was not properly helped. I'm also gonna compliment @ohannabelle for the story she shared on the stupid thread about a bridesmaid with pink hair, cause that just made me want her to be my fourth mom.

Inkdancer

I want to compliment @Beethery for being so real and honest and cool. If all my real life friends were as open as you I would never do anything stupid again.

Also @Jells2dot0 for being such an elegant and strong lady. You could have wallowed in self-pity, but you kept your head up and fought back, and I hope I can be as graceful in the face of trouble.

@lacqueredlover for being the best newbie ever. You came in without silly snowflake drama or selfish rudeness. So glad to have you here!

@MagicInk for being the classiest feminist I know. You keep people accountable for the stupid crap they say without ever berating them or putting them down. I have a massive brain-crush on how smart you are!

@lolo883 for being a beautiful, kind, excellent person inside and out.

@emmaaa You are excellent. I want to be your friend.

I can't list everyone but these are the ones that came immediately to mind. All my Knotties are lovely ladies and I think you're incredible.

lacqueredlover

Inkdancer said:

I want to compliment @Beethery for being so real and honest and cool. If all my real life friends were as open as you I would never do anything stupid again.

Also @Jells2dot0 for being such an elegant and strong lady. You could have wallowed in self-pity, but you kept your head up and fought back, and I hope I can be as graceful in the face of trouble.

@lacqueredlover for being the best newbie ever. You came in without silly snowflake drama or selfish rudeness. So glad to have you here!

@MagicInk for being the classiest feminist I know. You keep people accountable for the stupid crap they say without ever berating them or putting them down. I have a massive brain-crush on how smart you are!

@lolo883 for being a beautiful, kind, excellent person inside and out.

@emmaaa You are excellent. I want to be your friend.

I can't list everyone but these are the ones that came immediately to mind. All my Knotties are lovely ladies and I think you're incredible.

Aw thanks!  You just made me smile!

theartistformerlyknownas

Thank you @InkDancer! You are so wonderfully, genuinely kind, and I don't think I've ever seen you say a rude word to anyone and I so respect that!