Inviting Boss/Co-workers to Wedding

sdo1010

Has anyone invited their Boss or Co-workers to their wedding? Yes/No? How did you handle inviting some or none? I want to invite only 2 of my co-workers. I work in a department of just my Boss and another co-worker and don't plan on inviting either but want to invite 2 other co-workers that I am close to. My Boss is very nosy and I know she will have something to say or will mention not being invited (she did this to someone else in another department). I know it's my DAY and my SAY...but just need some advice on how to handle if this happens. 

LeciaB

I only invited 4 co-workers to my wedding.. my department was kind of small but I didnt lie my bosses or the other coworkers so I just didnt say anything about it.. I gave them their invites in private and asked if they would keep the wedding quite because everyone is not invited. if the boss says anything to you let them know the wedding is intimate and you could not invite everyone. (thats all you need to say ) BUT IF YOUR BOSS IS NEEDY THEN SAY The people you did invite you are friends with outside of the work place. if you are not friendly with your boss outside of work like that then I wouldnt bother to invite them.. you dont want that negative energry on your day  

[Deleted User]

I'm not sure if there's a right or wrong answer that should be any more convincing than how the bride/groom feels about it.   Couple different viewpoints.

http://www.askamanager.org/2013/08/my-boss-thinks-ill-invite-her-to-my-wedding-but-i-dont-want-to.html

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071202154752AAf9Nm7

A few years ago, one of my bosses got married - she wasn't the head of our department but she was a manager.  Our department at the time contained about 12 people.  She invited me and her assistant and our department head (her boss) and the entire board of directors (technically, our boss' boss) even though she saw them only 5 times a year. 

I would totally understand not inviting her, especially because she sounds lightweight petty, but (I'm talking strictly from personal experience here) I've only ever seen this scenario in reverse (inviting some co workers not others or boss not co workers).  Haven't come across a work invitation that excluded the boss.    Because you asked what we would do, I'll also add that my boss is a perfectly nice guy, but an introvert, we don't say 4 words to each other at work.  For me though that would be much less about feeling close to him than maintaining good relations with the person who has decision making input regarding my income.  It is your day and it shouldn't make a personal difference in your professional life, but as noted above, she sounds like she can be just petty enough to make that up to you elsewhere.  If it were me, personally I'd rather take the L on paying for he and his wife's plate than risk snubbing him.   Especially because in my region of the country, bosses are notorious for being good gift givers.  *wink*

What are you leaning towards? 

tirathemrs

sdo1010 said:

Has anyone invited their Boss or Co-workers to their wedding? Yes/No? How did you handle inviting some or none? I want to invite only 2 of my co-workers. I work in a department of just my Boss and another co-worker and don't plan on inviting either but want to invite 2 other co-workers that I am close to. My Boss is very nosy and I know she will have something to say or will mention not being invited (she did this to someone else in another department). I know it's my DAY and my SAY...but just need some advice on how to handle if this happens. 

I was planning on inviting one person from my workplace but she couldnt come so i didnt invite anyone.. I wasnt planning on it and didnt care how and what the etiquete police said about it.. My thing is if you and i arent close you really shouldnt be expecting an invite.. Some ppl only want an invite just to be nosey and talk about you behind your back.. but again im soo different when it comes to what is correct and what isnt.. imo

sdo1010

Thank you all for your replies. I am one that "tries to NOT Care, BUT I do" (working on that) and like you said @tirathemrs some people only want an invite to be nosey and that is what I think my Boss will do. But then again she doesn't go to any work functions AT ALL. Sooooo I don't know why I am putting much emphasis on it! I think I just got my answer right there. I will do like you guys said, not mention it, invite the two co-workers and tell them to keep it to themselves. After my wedding I could care less about those who didn't get invited. woooosah! 

Tchavon1984

I only invited the ppl I'm friends with outside of work. My bosses are 2 miserable women that talk about me behind my back all the time (they think I dont know this) If I wont even add you to FB there is no need for you to be at my wedding. I heard they were talking about the fact I didnt invite them and that I was rude.... I could care less lol I'd rather you not be there and talk about me. then to be there for one of the biggest most important days of my life, eat my food and then talk about me.

tirathemrs

I AGREE ^^^^^

island07b2b

I plan on inviting my boss for sure and three other people at my company but they don't work in my department.  Of the people in my department one is my BM.  There are four other persons in my department that I am still considering but most likely they will not make the final cut.   For the people I do invite I will be instructing them to keep it quiet because if anyone comes to me asking why they aren't invited...it will get UGLY.    

marsm4

If you think your  boss will give a big cash gift, invite them!  LOL... seriously though... I invited my boss and various coworkers.  We're close.  My wedding was relatively small.  I sent invites to their homes and I tried to keep the wedding talk to a minimum at work so as not to rouse interest in being invited.

Cstow06

My fiancé is inviting coworkers. They are all very close though. I think if you want to invite some and not all no one at work will be offended if the ones you invite are close to you and you hang out outside of work. It's always acceptable to just invite your boss though. Lol that's if you feel like seeing your boss on your wedding day.