Potential Day of Coordinator Trying to Upsell?

badbnagdway

My wedding is in about six months (oh my!). We've only been engaged about two months and while I think we have a lot of the big things figured out -- venues, date, photographer, photobooth, dress and WP, we still need to hire our DOC, caterer, florist, staff, and determine rentals of things like utensils and dishes and such. My photographer (who I think is really fabulous and whose opinion I would trust) recommended two DOC's and I met with the first one today. Her basic DOC package is $500 which includes reception coordination (up to two hours) and day of wedding (up to six hours) taking care of "all the details". When I met her she seemed organized and dedicated and she has been really good about wanting to set-up a meeting with me. 

The thing is, although she seems very capable and likable, she kind of stressed me out. What I had envisioned is someone who I can just kind of hand the reins of the event to the day before the wedding. I didn't really think I needed a planner, just someone who would make sure everything went smoothly and oversaw the setting up of the reception space and the taking down of that space. It seemed to me that she was trying to really upsell me -- like encourage full planning services or charge for various details that I guess I would have thought might be included, like setting up the tables and whatnot. I don't mean I thought the DOC would definitely do that but my thought would have been to hire some waiters and bar tenders and pay them a little extra to help with that under the direction of the DOC. Maybe that is crazy. 

Anyway, it seemed like she had a recommendation for all sorts of vendors, even her husband apparently is also an officiant. The whole thing made me feel super overwhelmed, which is not what I want the DOC to do. What have other's experiences been with DOC's and selecting one ?

southernbelle0915

The DOC we ended up using tried to upsell me when I initially talked to her and told her what I wanted. I think it's normal. I mean, your baker is going to try to get you to upgrade, your florist will try to do the same thing, etc. It's business. Just say no thanks and hire her for what you want her to do.

cowgirl8238

I didn't hire a DOC and I found myself put off by any vendor that tried too hard to sell me things.  While I think a little up-selling is normal, if they push too much or ake you feel uncomfortable I would look else where.  Out of all our vendors only the photog came close to up-selling but describing some add-ons to the package we could do if we choose.  All the other vendors we picked were not at all pushy.

atlastmrsg

Just make sure you know what she is and isn't doing.

Beyond that, she's just trying to support her livelihood.  When you go to a restaurant, they try to get you to try an appetizer or dessert, or have another drink.  It's all the same.

However, if you're that uncomfortable, interview someone else.  There are a zillion options in big cities.  Sometimes you don't gel with a person.  And even if you interview someone else, if you like them less, you can always go back to her.

LittlePeachBlossom

badbnagdway said:

My wedding is in about six months (oh my!). We've only been engaged about two months and while I think we have a lot of the big things figured out -- venues, date, photographer, photobooth, dress and WP, we still need to hire our DOC, caterer, florist, staff, and determine rentals of things like utensils and dishes and such. My photographer (who I think is really fabulous and whose opinion I would trust) recommended two DOC's and I met with the first one today. Her basic DOC package is $500 which includes reception coordination (up to two hours) and day of wedding (up to six hours) taking care of "all the details". When I met her she seemed organized and dedicated and she has been really good about wanting to set-up a meeting with me. 

The thing is, although she seems very capable and likable, she kind of stressed me out. What I had envisioned is someone who I can just kind of hand the reins of the event to the day before the wedding. I didn't really think I needed a planner, just someone who would make sure everything went smoothly and oversaw the setting up of the reception space and the taking down of that space. It seemed to me that she was trying to really upsell me -- like encourage full planning services or charge for various details that I guess I would have thought might be included, like setting up the tables and whatnot. I don't mean I thought the DOC would definitely do that but my thought would have been to hire some waiters and bar tenders and pay them a little extra to help with that under the direction of the DOC. Maybe that is crazy. 

Anyway, it seemed like she had a recommendation for all sorts of vendors, even her husband apparently is also an officiant. The whole thing made me feel super overwhelmed, which is not what I want the DOC to do. What have other's experiences been with DOC's and selecting one ?

By figured out, do you mean you have already confirmed and signed contracts for these? I think caterer, staff and rentals should be on top of the list. These are, after all, what directly affects the guests most.

badbnagdway

LittlePeachBlossom said:

badbnagdway said:

My wedding is in about six months (oh my!). We've only been engaged about two months and while I think we have a lot of the big things figured out -- venues, date, photographer, photobooth, dress and WP, we still need to hire our DOC, caterer, florist, staff, and determine rentals of things like utensils and dishes and such. My photographer (who I think is really fabulous and whose opinion I would trust) recommended two DOC's and I met with the first one today. Her basic DOC package is $500 which includes reception coordination (up to two hours) and day of wedding (up to six hours) taking care of "all the details". When I met her she seemed organized and dedicated and she has been really good about wanting to set-up a meeting with me. 

The thing is, although she seems very capable and likable, she kind of stressed me out. What I had envisioned is someone who I can just kind of hand the reins of the event to the day before the wedding. I didn't really think I needed a planner, just someone who would make sure everything went smoothly and oversaw the setting up of the reception space and the taking down of that space. It seemed to me that she was trying to really upsell me -- like encourage full planning services or charge for various details that I guess I would have thought might be included, like setting up the tables and whatnot. I don't mean I thought the DOC would definitely do that but my thought would have been to hire some waiters and bar tenders and pay them a little extra to help with that under the direction of the DOC. Maybe that is crazy. 

Anyway, it seemed like she had a recommendation for all sorts of vendors, even her husband apparently is also an officiant. The whole thing made me feel super overwhelmed, which is not what I want the DOC to do. What have other's experiences been with DOC's and selecting one ?

By figured out, do you mean you have already confirmed and signed contracts for these? I think caterer, staff and rentals should be on top of the list. These are, after all, what directly affects the guests most.

We have contracts and have paid deposits or in most cases completely paid for all of those items. I am working on the caterer. Caterer, staff and rentals are connected, at least where we are located, so until I pick the caterer I won't be able to determine if I need to separately hire staff (some caterers can provide that for an extra charge and others have particular servers or companies they prefer to work with) or rent cups and plates (things like tables and chairs are included with the venue). But yes, caterer and DOC are the two tasks I'm currently working on and getting quotes for. 

Knottie32501435

I haven't hired a DOC, but am considering hiring one. For what I think is the same reason as you: to have someone to oversee things like set up and make sure things go smoothly.

If what you want to just someone to ensure things go smoothly, it sounds like this DOC might not be the best choice. I think the idea of having a DOC is to reduce stress, not increase it. She may just be trying to increase business, which is understandable, but you need to do what's right for you. I think a good DOC is someone who will listen to you, someone you can trust and depend on. Business could get in the way of those things if you're already stressed or she may completely drop it.

It doesn't hurt to meet with the other recommended DOC and meet other ones as well. If you can't find one you liked better, then go with this one. And if you do find someone you like better, well there you go!

Good luck! I hope you start to feel less overwhelmed and everything works out