HELP Open Seating Reception

emilypilmore

I have two rooms at the reception center, one for adults and one for kids. However, I've had so many verbal RSVPS that I am afraid I'd miss people if I do assigned seating!! Is there another way to assure the kids don't sit in the adults room without missing anyone?

theartistformerlyknownas

emilypilmore said:

I have two rooms at the reception center, one for adults and one for kids. However, I've had so many verbal RSVPS that I am afraid I'd miss people if I do assigned seating!! Is there another way to assure the kids don't sit in the adults room without missing anyone?

What?! Do the parents know their kids will be segregated like that? Have they agreed to this? It's horribly rude to split guests apart like that, and you can't guarantee that people will abide. Will the adult room have a bouncer checking IDs?

cafarrie

That seems super odd to me to split up families like that even with assigned seating and I don't think you should do it.  If you don't want assigned seating, then don't dictate where people sit in any way, including segregating kids to another room. 

chibiyui

This seems like a bad idea.

jacques27

1. If it hasn't occurred to you already (and clearly it hasn't), when someone verbally RSVPs, go hunt down a pen and a piece of paper and write it down.  Then go put that information into a spreadsheet, notebook, or other information gathering apparatus.

So, there's one problem solved.

2.  If you don't want children at your "adult reception", then the solution is don't invite children.  The solution IS NOT to invite children, but then segregate them and treat them as second class citizens not good enough to be part of the "real reception".  Most people tend to not be big fans of open seating to begin with (it's awkward and chaotic, plus you're splitting up families making it more awkward and chaotic, plus you need to have MORE tables/seats than you would with assigned seating because people tend to leave a little space between others unless assigned), but then to split up the families besides?  I'm cycling through all of the potential responses my friends who are parents would give and...yeah, I really can't imagine a single one of them being okay with their kid being shipped off to an entirely different room for the duration of the reception.  Between tending to their children's needs depending on age, not wanting their children potentially wandering unsupervised in an unfamiliar building/city/etc. and just generally liking and caring about their kids and being good parents - none of them would be okay with this. 

LittleWohlscheid

I happen to prefer open seating plans because then I get to sit by who I want and am altogether more comfortable. I think unless it's a plated meal service seating plans aren't worth the hassle. People know how to sit at tables on their own (they'll know not to leave a gap between them if people need the seats), so that won't be a big deal, plus no one will be offended if they end up at a table further from what they consider ideal (some people actually get upset about that kind of thing). That being said, not a good idea to split families, as PPs have said. If you had a room with activities or whatever for them that were optional (as in, they can come and go from it), that's one thing, but forcing them into a different room is only creating chaos for you and will probably result in peeved parents. Regardless of a seating chart, I would skip the kids only/adults only set up.

Viczaesar

Further proof of SIW.

southernbelle0915

I don't see the problem with open seating as much as I see an issue with you not tracking RSVPs. Why aren't you tracking RSVPs? And why are you planning to separate children from their parents.

My suggestion would be to open an excel spreadsheet and start tracking things. Make phone calls, send emails, follow up on who's coming. Then seat families together.

birdybride2014

I agree with @southernbelle0915 . Open seating is one thing (know your crowd, know your space). But not having a handle on RSVPs? How do you know if you even have enough seats for everyone, or enough meals?!

Anyways, I don't think that there is a tactful way to tell children that they belong in one room. Unless you were previously advertising it as a "children supervised area/play area/babysitting type thing"? I haven't been to a wedding that offered childcare (that's a thing right?) so I haven't seen any situations where children would be elsewhere.

LondonLisa

Who is supervising the children's room? What happens when a child throws a tantrum and wants to go sit with their parents? Or a parent doesn't want to leave their child in the children's area?

You need to go through your invitation list and figure out exactly who has RSVPed and for how many. Call anyone that you are unsure about.

Then you need to figure out a way to have everyone sitting together.

redoryx

emilypilmore said:

I have two rooms at the reception center, one for adults and one for kids. However, I've had so many verbal RSVPS that I am afraid I'd miss people if I do assigned seating!! Is there another way to assure the kids don't sit in the adults room without missing anyone?

Yes. Don't invite children.

Honestly, this sounds like a very bad plan. For starters, do the parents know their kids will be sitting in an entirely different room? Who is watching the room? What happens if a kid does want to sit with their parents? Will they be somehow barred from entering the adult room? What if a parent doesn't want their kid to be in a different room?

I come from a big extended family. We've had kid zone type things at these events, with babysitters and movies and whatever. But they are in addition to the children being allowed at the main reception, not instead of.

theartistformerlyknownas

redoryx said:

emilypilmore said:

I have two rooms at the reception center, one for adults and one for kids. However, I've had so many verbal RSVPS that I am afraid I'd miss people if I do assigned seating!! Is there another way to assure the kids don't sit in the adults room without missing anyone?

Yes. Don't invite children.

Honestly, this sounds like a very bad plan. For starters, do the parents know their kids will be sitting in an entirely different room? Who is watching the room? What happens if a kid does want to sit with their parents? Will they be somehow barred from entering the adult room? What if a parent doesn't want their kid to be in a different room?

I come from a big extended family. We've had kid zone type things at these events, with babysitters and movies and whatever. But they are in addition to the children being allowed at the main reception, not instead of.

We had this too. But all children were seated with their parents. 

southernbelle0915

Also, I'd like to add that open seating is not a solution for not tracking RSVPs. If you do open seating correctly, you would have about 15% extra seating. So you need a hard number of how many people are coming so that you can add 15%. 

[Deleted User]

FWIW, I was only at one open seating wedding and I didn't like it.  My fiance was an usher, and they had him at the head table.  I was on my own.  They had a gap (I wouldn't do it, but NBD to me b/c I went back to the hotel and napped). 

Reception was at the hotel, so I only left about 10 minutes early for the reception after my nap and when I got there almost everything was full.  I only sort of knew 2 other people there (also friends of my fiance's who I'd met one time before) and one was also in the wedding party.  Fortunately, I found the one person I knew and we squeezed a table way off to one side, but I hated having to walk into that room myself, not knowing anyone, and then on top of it, trying to figure out where to sit.

Sit me with people I don't know; I don't give a damn- I was already at a table full of people I didn't know, but I hated that awkward moment of "where do I sit?"