Church Rant

fluteplayer247

So me and my FI were planning on getting married at the church that we grew up in, but there has been so much drama, So when we had our first meeting with the pastor he made it sound like it was optional to hire the churches wedding coordinator, Now ten months after we had that meeting we find out that we have to have her, we have heard awful things about her and that she didn't even show up for one of the weddings. My mother works at our church and was also thinking it was optional and so we asked someone else to do it. What also makes me mad it that she has not contacted us when she was supposed to and know one even knows for sure who it really is, I was told yesterday that the person we were told the wedding coordinator was lives over 100 miles away. I am so sick of this, i'm almost ready to move the wedding to the summer camp down the street before it's too late.

NYCMercedes

fluteplayer247 said:

So me and my FI were planning on getting married at the church that we grew up in, but there has been so much drama, So when we had our first meeting with the pastor he made it sound like it was optional to hire the churches wedding coordinator, Now ten months after we had that meeting we find out that we have to have her, we have heard awful things about her and that she didn't even show up for one of the weddings. My mother works at our church and was also thinking it was optional and so we asked someone else to do it. What also makes me mad it that she has not contacted us when she was supposed to and know one even knows for sure who it really is, I was told yesterday that the person we were told the wedding coordinator was lives over 100 miles away. I am so sick of this, i'm almost ready to move the wedding to the summer camp down the street before it's too late.

Is it important to you to be married in your church? If so, how can this one detail upset you so much? Who says you have to have her? Your statement that no one even knows for sure who it really is, is very confusing. Perhaps your two people, your mom / church employee and your pastor, can help you sort this out.

bahamabride2015

If your mom works at the church, how does she not know who it is? This is confusing...  

I would just say "no thanks" to her services and not let it be a dramatic thing... 

fluteplayer247

I guess it's the senior pastor that is making us have her and my mom it trying to figure it out as well, she can't really get an answer so either, it just makes me mad how she hasn't contacted us and it's been ten months since we first met with the pastor.

southernbelle0915

I don't really understand this. What does it say in your contract with the church? If it says you need to use her, then fine. If it doesn't, then use whoever you want.

At most, I would think you'd need to exchange about 4 emails with this person. As long as someone can unlock the church for you, I don't see why you couldn't have a DOC or wedding planner there coordinating things - whether they work in conjunction with the church coordinator or not.

CMGragain

How much money are we talking about?  I had to pay a wedding co-ordinator at daughter's church wedding, and she screwed up everything she touched.  It didn't matter because it was a small amount of money, I double checked everything, and it was important that they be married in that church.

holyguacamole79

How far out is your wedding? If it's not for another 9 months, for example, I wouldn't be terribly worried about her not contacting you yet. And how formal / strict is your church's wedding ceremony? I know some churches are more laid-back and give you more options. I'm Catholic, and the wedding coordinator was not only required, but we were not allowed to have external wedding coordinators interfering with anything related to the church part of the day. But then again, I'm friends with our church wedding coordinator and I volunteered with her on a regular basis, so we were in constant communication anyway.

dolewhipper

After booking my church, I'm not speaking with my officiant until 2 months before my wedding. I booked it and briefly spoke to him 10 months ago. 

I'm not quite sure what's the issue, and I agree with PPs on checking your contract.