Wedding Woes


Dear Prudence,
I’m pursuing doctoral studies at a well-known university and am doing well there. But I need more income than my student salary provides—I help support my mother among other things. I did some massage training in the past so a few months ago I set up a massage studio in my place. My massage has an erotic flavor, even though there’s no sex involved in any way. I work in the nude and massage some parts that you wouldn’t get massaged at a regular massage center. My clients, mostly men but also women, love it and I am earning a steady income. No one from my personal or professional circles knows about it and I never put a picture of myself in my ads. I know I shouldn’t hide since there is nothing really wrong with what I’m doing, but I don’t want to be judged for it. I’m not sure if what I’m doing is unethical. I hate having these kinds of secrets, so I would really appreciate any advice from you.

—Dr. Rub

Re: Rubadub...ahhh...

  • Isn't this like sex work? Like couldn't this be illegal depending on her location?
  • I'm not sure why this would come up in normal conversation anyway.

    And I still wouldn't share it.  Not everyone is okay with things that are risque.  She will be judged, so if she doesn't want to be, keep it to herself.  The issue here is that she's judging herself and wants someone to tell her that whatever it is she's doing (and it sounds like some sort of sex work) isn't dirty and wrong.

    So here:  sex work isn't dirty and wrong.  It's work.  It's fine.  The only time I think the state should be involved is to make sure everyone is STD free and everyone is consenting and of age to consent.  Voila.
  • I'm so confused.  
    If it's not sex "in any way", but she's massaging certain areas that are not usually massaged, what exactly is she massaging?  
    Also, why does she need to be nude to do the massage?  
    And how do you let your potential clients know that you're going to be nude when you're doing their "full body" (and I mean "full body") massage?  
    I'd be awfully surprised/alarmed if my masseuse were nude.
  • AF, I'm sure that wherever this person is placing their ads probably lets the customer know that this is the service.  ;)

  • This reminds me of that show on Lifetime with Jennifer Love Hewitt. I liked that show.

  • I'm so over this "I don't want to be judged" thing.  People need to own their decisions and accept that not everyone will agree with them, and that's okay.

    In her shoes, I wouldn't add it to my LinkedIn or anything, but I would accept it and keep on keepin' on.  If she's having trouble with that, then maybe she's not as okay with everything as she thinks she is.
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