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Help with Wording Invites for Complicated-ish Family Situations Please!

Knottie56502158Knottie56502158 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
My parents are divorced and my mom and stepdad will be hosting along with my fiancé's mother and her new husband. My fiancé's dad died a few years ago and he will definitely want his dad's name included. My mother also wants her first name indicated for multiple reasons. I am also hoping to avoid the 'her daughter'/ 'their daughter' as my stepdad would be offended one way and my dad will be offended the other. Since both hosting parents have different last names from their children, will it be understood which parents go with which children if I have mine first and his second? I am hoping that since our guests know at least one half of the names that they will be able to figure it out but I would be appreciative of any suggestions y'all have to do this properly!
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Re: Help with Wording Invites for Complicated-ish Family Situations Please!

  • Skel3Skel3 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited October 2014
    Have you thought about just saying, "The parents of <your name here> and <his name here> invite you to..."? It still acknowledges both sets of parents, but no names so no need to worry about anyone being upset (hopefully). You could even replace "parents" with "families." I hope you figure something out that works!
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    "Together with their families...."
    *********************************************************************************

    image
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  • Knottie56502158Knottie56502158 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    That is what I was originally hoping to do but my mother has insisted on having her name specifically written out. Already had to fight her on leaving out her maiden name! But thank you!
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  • MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    It is not appropriate to include the name of deceased persons on invitations. 

    The best solution is to go with, "Together with their families" on the invitations.  You can list all family members (in any form/fashion they prefer) on wedding programs.  As MANY posters will explain, the invitation is not a playbill for listing the cast of characters. 

    If you want to include the host names you would write,
    Mr. and Mrs. StepDad
    and
    Mr. and Mrs. FI's mom........

    @CMGragain, can you elaborate please?
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Knottie56502158 said:
    That is what I was originally hoping to do but my mother has insisted on having her name specifically written out. Already had to fight her on leaving out her maiden name! But thank you!
    As @MobKaz stated, it's extremely inappropriate to name deceased people on invitations. Whatever you end up going with, do not do this. Many people find it garish and some find it downright offensive.

    If your mom wants her full name written out for all to see (*eyeroll*), can you compromise with her and have programs where her name is prominently displayed? It's totally ridiculous and AWish of her, but she's paying so... Draw up a spec in Word or something to show her how prominent she'll be, like "Mother of the Bride - MomFirst MomMaidan". Tell her she'll be in the processional, that you'll use her full name on her escort card, etc. All that if you can just use "Together with their families..."

    It's going to be extremely confusing to have 5 people with 4 different last names written on an invitation (one of whom has passed). All because your mom wants her name written out and your FI wants his late father on there? This is a fight I would fight. It's unnecessarily complicated.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
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  • Knottie56502158Knottie56502158 member
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    Oh! I am so glad y'all told me not to include it, I had no idea it was inappropriate! 

    I am going to try what you said to make a compromise with her and hopefully she will go for it. If it helps to explain anything, I have also already talked her out of dying her old wedding dress (second marriage) to wear as her MOB dress. She's just like that. ;)

    Thank you for your responses, y'all have been super helpful!
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  • Knottie56502158Knottie56502158 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Oh! I am so glad y'all told me not to include it, I had no idea it was inappropriate! 

    I am going to try what you said to make a compromise with her and hopefully she will go for it. If it helps to explain anything, I have also already talked her out of dying her old wedding dress (second marriage) to wear as her MOB dress. She's just like that. ;)

    Thank you for your responses, y'all have been super helpful!
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited October 2014
    Ms. Mary Stepfather'sname and Mr. John Stepfathersname
    Mr. and Mrs. James Groom'sstepfather
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    Day, date
    time o'clock
    Venue
    Address
    City, State

    You could list the groom's parents as "Ms. Sue Grooms Stepfather and Mr. James Grooms Stepfather" if you wish.
    Your Fiance's late father should be acknowledged in the printed wedding program, not the invitation.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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