Wedding 911

who's to walk me down the aisle & give me away?

Hi, all
So here's the thing. I lost both of my parents to homicide at age 9.  My lil sis' dad stepped in & has been my dad since before she was born. He and my oldest brother (by my biological father) both think that they will be the one to walk me down the aisle & give me away. I'm stuck between a rock and hard place & it's breaking my heart.  I really don't want to have my family fighting & I'd hate for either of them to have resentment towards me for choosing one over the other. I'm thinking of walking myself down the aisle w/reasoning being that if my late uncle was here (a marine vet & college student), he'd be the one walking me down the aisle.  Wouldn't that suffice? I think it's reasonable & just have my dad and brother, both, give me away at the alter? Any suggestions??? I'm about to pull my hair out over this.

Thanks 

Re: who's to walk me down the aisle & give me away?

  • Hi, all
    So here's the thing. I lost both of my parents to homicide at age 9.  My lil sis' dad stepped in & has been my dad since before she was born. He and my oldest brother (by my biological father) both think that they will be the one to walk me down the aisle & give me away. I'm stuck between a rock and hard place & it's breaking my heart.  I really don't want to have my family fighting & I'd hate for either of them to have resentment towards me for choosing one over the other. I'm thinking of walking myself down the aisle w/reasoning being that if my late uncle was here (a marine vet & college student), he'd be the one walking me down the aisle.  Wouldn't that suffice? I think it's reasonable & just have my dad and brother, both, give me away at the alter? Any suggestions??? I'm about to pull my hair out over this.

    Thanks 

    This is a personal decision and is 100% up to you. I'm not sure how your dad & brother will give you away at the altar, but that's another topic. Whatever you decide, make it clear that you're set and that you expect your family to honor and respect your wishes.
  • @guacamole: your reply was very simple & reassuring. I, honestly, do feel 10xs better taking your advice. Thanks a bunch & congrats on your union :)
  • jacques27jacques27 member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited November 2014
    1.  Why couldn't they both walk you down?  You can choose both.  You don't have to limit it to one.  I know people who choose to have both their parents walk them down the aisle - you can have two people.
    2.  What do you want?
  • Who would you prefer?


    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers



  • I was at a wedding where the bride had her real dad and step dad bring her down.
    She was really close to both. 

    That aside it is your decision and I would hope that the guys would understand that. 
  • I think it's do-able if you want to have both walk you down the aisle - I don't think you have to have the officiant say the words "who gives this woman" if you don't want to have to deal with the "giving away" portion.  That would allow both to be able to walk with you and support you. 

     

    My dad died 4 1/2 years ago (wow, sometimes it really feels weird to type/think/say that - like it's still surreal sometimes), so I'm walking by myself down to the aisle (I have a VERY long walk from the front door of the winery to the sidewalk that leads down the gazebo).  FI is going to walk to the back of the guests' chairs and walk with me the rest of the way up to the altar.  We both loved the idea of us going up as a united front.  You can make your processional whatever feels right to you too.  :)

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  • How would you feel about your fi walking you down the aisle? it is always an option.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • My best friend, who also has lost both of her parents, had her brother & sister walk her down the aisle, one on each side. I have another friend who lost her father only a few months before the wedding (and was devastated), and she walked down the aisle with her fiancee. These moments from both weddings were immensely beautiful. Do what you feel is right - walk down with one, both, or neither. If these two men love and respect you then they, too, will be moved by whatever choice you make.
  • jacques27 hm..I never thought of having them both walk me down. Thanks for that suggestion.  I also like the idea that mobride2015 presented about having her fi walk with her halfway; that way he still gets his view of his bride while he's walking to meet you :) that's a really nice concept that you two came up with & with your other suggestion, I will be skipping the "give away" bit

    hellohkb: I'd prefer my late uncle, but that, obviously, isn't an option here :p I'm going to think of having them both walk me down or walking alone.  The only thing I'm concerned with about walking alone is my clumsiness o_O it's ridiculous and I get nervous when being stared at lol but I think it'll be ok *deep breaths*

    KatWAG: See, I thought about that at first, but that is something I can't do. That would probably hurt me more than my big bro & "dad"

    redheadbride15: I'm really considering both or neither & skipping over the giveaway. It may be so quick that no one will notice.  

    MnHGirl: Thanks for your suggestion; & I hope so as well. They're like two bulls. Even if I don't choose either one, I know they'll still love me at the end of the day :)

    Ya'll reminded me of a valuable life lesson: "Can't please everyone" LOL Thanks for all of ya'll's input. I'm really saddened to hear of your losses. Even if our loved ones aren't here physically, we'll carry them in our hearts on our special day xoxo
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