What is driving you nuts?

snarky_girl

Wedding planning is a bit of a double-edged sword for me. Let me just start with that. I'm having fun planning it — to a point. I didn't really dream of getting married when I was a teenager. My dreams were more about becoming a female James Bond or a world traveler of some sort. (Sadly, neither of those actually came true!) But my point is this .. I had NO clue what was involved when I agreed to get married in January and plan a simple wedding for September. Who knew how much work it was! 

So my question is this .. what is driving you nuts about your wedding?

For me, its my invitations. I would so much rather call everyone who is invited (all 125 of them) and tell them to be here Sept. 18. But that is just not done. I've spent hours of my life looking at designs, fonts, special pocket folds, etc. I finally gave up and decided to design my own on Publisher. Now I've got four versions and we're debating which we like the best. I told FI decision has to be made this weekend cuz I'm sending whatever option we go with off on Monday so I stop obsessing over it. I've actually had nightmares over invitations. That's when I knew it was bad! 

nannabug42

For me it's been bridesmaid dresses - and I still have 9 months and they're stressing me out. I have a big bridal party because FI wanted all of our siblings in it and everyone has different styles and budgets. I have some girls who just had kids and are completely broke, and other girls getting mad because they'd rather pay $300 for a nicer dress that they may be able to wear again and not everyone can afford to go that route.

To make it easier I'm just picking a designer and color and they can each get what's within their own budget. But anyway, I've lost sleep over someone being upset with their dress. My dress shopping wasn't anywhere NEAR this stressful!

snarky_girl

I hear you on the bridesmaid dresses!! I only have one - my MOH - because my other attendant is my brother. He doesn't care what he wears. He'd wear a dress if I told him too! My MOH/BFF has been more complicated, more stressful than MY dress. We event got into a fight where we didn't speak for a day. (We made up the next day - o worries!)  In fact, she's the only one without clothes at this point. Everyone else is done!!

colsta

The invitations were my favorite part!! That was one of my favorite DIY projects.

Coordinating everyone is what's driving me nuts right now. No one in my family has ever even BEEN to Oregon except my dad for a few days. When everyone looks at plane tickets, they are cheaper to go into Portland so people keep calling and asking if they can just fly in there. I say fine, but you'll need to rent a car because I can not make multiple trips up there at 2 hours one way. So then they ask if I know what the other siblings/friends/cousins are coming in. No, I can't coordinate all 10 of you. I'm ready to just give them all another $200 each so they'll fly into Eugene. Won't keep me within my original budget but it is just about worth it at this time.

sarahmarietm

I HATE how expensive it is to fly Eugene instead of PDX. I mean, I completely understand that it's a smaller airport, ect.  But come on!  FI and I are going to Disneyland for our honeymoon, and it was going to be an extra 300 a piece to get on an airplane here, fly up to Portland, then leave for Cali.  I wouldn't be so hesitant, if the last time I went to Disneyland with my family, back in Dec. 2008, when we had all the snow?!  Yeah, we had to fly right into that, and it took us 10 hours to drive home.  It was horrible.  If only we could have flown into Eugene....

I think what was drivng me nuts it finding all the time to do my DIY projects, and getting everyone coordinated as far as when they need to get their tux measurements, wrangling everyone for the rehersal dinner, ect.  Can I also mention it's making my eye twitch with how slow people are to get my their dang addresses!

I'm just about to send my invites out(also DIY), squee!!  I actually should be working on that right now, but seeing as I want to contribute to our board being alive....here I am. 

Snarky, any way we can get a peek at your invites?  Maybe we can help pick!

colsta

To be a total hypocrite, I live in Eugene and usually fly out of Portland myself. But I drive myself up there. But I had the same problem with all the snow 2 years ago - we had to drive home from Portland at midnight and almost went off the interstate! We said the same thing about it not being worth the extra money. Needless to say, we still fly out of Portland.

Yeah, Snarky, show us the invites!

I just started getting RSVPs back. It's so exciting.

snarky_girl

I'll try to post them tonight when I get home .. if I can. They are publisher documents and I'm barely able to load photos on my Facebook page! But I'll try. My FI is a huge computer geek - I say that with love! - and he might be able to do it. But just don't have too high of hopes for them! They are way simple! 

snarky_girl

God Sarah and Colsta .. I'm sooooo glad I don't have to deal with tux measurements or out of town family flying in for the wedding to coordinate. I'd just throw i the towel and run for Vegas. I'm lucky in that I only have a few OOT guests and most, with the exception of two, are coming from Oregon. They know where Oregon (unlike so many on the East Coast who don't even realize we are a state! I digress ...)  is and how to get here! 

kizat

My big issue has been food and caterers... I'm ditching caterers and I'm doing my own food because I've had some craptastical times with some of these caterers...

THANKFULLY... i have a wonderful family who has stepped up...

Otherwise, I'm having a blast planning... Lots of DIY stuff to get done over the long weekend and really looking forward to it.

nannabug42

Kizat you are really doing your own food?! I think the stress from that would eat me alive! Chris (fiance) really wanted to do that to save money and it was the one thing I refused to do myself.

What are you serving?

colsta

Kizat - I'm doing my own food too. We're only having 50-60 people though. What are you making?

Snarky - Wasn't it Steven Colbert who called Oregon Washington's Mexico and California's Canada?

I just got in a fight with my sister - well not really a fight because she hung up on me before I even got a chance to fight - about her having to fly into Eugene.

snarky_girl

Colsta - I'm sorry. That sucks. Hopefully she'll cool off and realize that it's better than having to drive two hours to just get to the wedding. Where's she coming from? It might help to give her more perspective of the distance, but then again, I'm sure you've already done that numerous times!!

And for Colbert - I'm sure he did!! He cracks me up but I rarely get to see him because I work a 6 a.m. to 3 p.m. shift!

Kizat - I'm impressed. We're doing our own food for probably 125 (if everyone comes -- and is it wrong to hope that doesn't happen?!?) but it's nothing posh. We're just having burgers, hot dogs and picnic/BBQ stuff. An out of work friend is doing the grilling for us (we're paying him $100; he's doing the rest of it as a wedding present!) and I have a great group of friends who are getting together the day before the wedding to chop things like onions, tomatoes and the such. So while its nothing fancy, it's totally me and Mike (my fiance). My friends joke that whenever we go out to eat they know I'm ordering a burger and fries ... Besides, a burgers and dogs keep things simple which I'm all for!

snarky_girl

Oh and I got my geek to make the invitations a jpeg file. I'll make another post and put them in there!!

kizat

We've invited about 110 people.  We're only really expecting about 80 people though.  We're doing a Sandwich Bar for lack of better description.  We're going to have different types of rolls, loafs of bread, fixin's and fillers.  We'll be doing pulled pork, chicken salad, and egg salad.  We'll have lettuce, tomatos, and pickles out and for sides we're doing chips and potato salad.. and then we're doing cracker/cheese/meat platters and a fresh veggie/hummus platter.

I'm enlisting neighborhood kids to help out with the switching of the food.  (Cheap labor!!)  So we'll have the crackers/cheese and veggie/hummus out when people get there and for after the ceremony between the reception... and then once we enter the reception and do the toasts and what not, the kids will be putting out the sandwich goodies and sides.. and then once dinner is done, they'll bring out additional crackers and hummus platters so people can snack throughout the evening as I plan on having wine and beer. 

The kids will also be helping with serving the cake to guests.  I think I'm having 3 kids at $20 a pop. 

JakeandChrissy

I'm having a lot of fun, but there are so many things that have been stumbling blocks.  The first was the bridesmaid dresses (I feel your pain ladies) then it was the invites.  Now, the RSVP's.
The RSVP's are driving me freaking crazy.  They are pre-addressed, postage paid... How hard is this?  I don't think people realize how important an accurate head count is for the bride's planning and budgeting.  Be sure to put your "RSVP by" date way ahead of your wedding.  It is 8 days after the "kindly reply by" date and 22 days before my weddng and 69 of 195 people have not sent me their RSVP postcards.  I called a few of them and one actually said "I figured that you knew I couldn't come."  Really?  Anyway, rather than calling everyone I'm sending out a blind cc email with the following rhyming reminder...
Only twenty-two more short days to go.

And, whether you accept or decline, we'd sure like to know.

 

We've got it all planned from the dress to the emcee.

The one thing we're missing is your RSVP.

 

If you're reading this poem, your card may be lost.

It's okay.  Just send us an email.  Let us know your response.

 

It is going to be a fantastic soiree.

We sure hope you can be there on our big day.

If they still don't respond and I have to send another email, it will read...
If you do not RSVP for my wedding
I will find you
There will be a beheading

kizat

That's a pretty darn cute email.

Come time, I might dig it up and snag it, if you dont mind.

** Also, I"m so glad that I told my Bridesmaids just to put on any ol' dress and show up.  So glad I dont have to worry about dressing anyone but myself.  Lord knows that was a big enough challenge in and of itself.

snarky_girl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_oregon_driving-nuts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:119Discussion:75536333-5bdb-4c54-8cc4-d0a1301ec21cPost:8e092b90-11e4-4ac5-9d3a-7f17135ee52b">Re: What is driving you nuts?</a>:
[QUOTE] I called a few of them and one actually said "I figured that you knew I couldn't come."  Really?  [/QUOTE]

OMG .... Love that. You made me snort with laughter on that one!!

And I love your email. That is so cute. I may snag it too if you're OK with it. I love the followup even more. There will be a beheading - Awesome!

Linda0918

It's a second wedding for both my fiancee and I.  What is driving me nuts is all of the unsolicited "advice" about what to do and what not to do!!  We don't really care what you're SUPPOSED to do for a 2nd wedding.  We're just doing what WE want.  Why can't people just let us be?!?

kizat

unsolicited advise is obnoxious no matter what situation.

I"m already preparing myself with snarky comebacks if/when I get pregnant.

colsta

Yes - the unsolicited advice, I forgot about it. Very annoying.

We're still a few weeks out from our "RSVP by" date but I may have to snag that email too. You should copyright it. I'm actually having more people RSVPing "yes" than I expected but we're still going to try to make the food ourselves.

seacorfu

Bridesmaids! Finding a dress that they can afford and their lack of involovement! I am getting married in Sept., but, cannot stand to think of looking obsessivley at online retail for BM dresses much longer. Secondly, they don't return my calls or FB messages. I know I am uptight but we have already tried 2 dresses and they didn't work because of huge boobs or it simply sold out because they took too long to order it.

Readingdiva123

 What's driving me nuts is that we don't have a date set at all. We have a ball park idea but its a really big one. But i get asked like once a week if we have a date set. And some people can't grasp the fact that we don't have one set because we're pretty much paying for the whole wedding by our selves and neither of  us makes much money. People just keep saying to pick a date and make it work. But i want to make sure we have at least some money saved before i set a date i don't want to set a date and hope to have the money i need to make it happen. I'm looking for inexpensive ways to do everything so that we can set a date but people really need to chill out and let us figure it out. Its just getting irritating because i want to set a date we just don't have the money to do it yet.

snarky_girl

Money woes are hard to swallow.  It's annoying to be asked all the time but maybe looking at it from another angle can help. They keep asking because they are SO excited for you and can't wait for the wedding. 

We're paying for our wedding (probably going to be about $1,200 at the most) but the smartest thing we did is just have the bank transfer a set amount from each of our separate bank accounts to our joint account each month. We -I should say me since I'm doing the lion's share of planning, DIY and all - only use the joint account for wedding expenses. Because it's done electronically, I don't miss it as much!