Military Brides

1 missed call

Hi Everybody,

My fiancé is at Basic in Fort Sill. He has been gone for a month now. Last night I missed his phone call. I've been devastated ever since. HAs anyone else experienced this? I can't stop crying. My heart just feels broken. I know that its only temporary. I know at some point he will be able to call again. But the thought that I have to make it through another 30 days is just too much to bear. For those of you who will read this and say that I'm over reacting please just keep your comments to yourself. I truly cannot handle debating why I feel as emotional as I do. But if anyone has any words or advice that might help, please help me. Thank you all.

Re: 1 missed call

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    Aww sweet one. I know how you feel . My man has been gone for almost 3 months and I have missed his call once... You feel so helpless. Just know that it is ok. He will call again when he can and the phone call lets you know he is safe and well! I know its so hard. Stay strong. Mine is gone till April!  I always have my phone on me now . If your in a meeting or at work let your bosses know what is going on and how important and rare a phone call is. They should be understanding! Praying he can call back soon! Stay strong! Our men need us! :)
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    Did he get to call someone else do you know? If it makes you feel any better, I got three phone calls at BCT. I called H each time, but once he was at work and couldn't really talk. It really wasn't that big a deal for me. Phone calls were awesome, but they were kind of distracting too. 

    I'm not going to say you're overreacting, but you can't let this affect you to the point where you're heartbroken or it's too much to bear. Write lots of letters (some of the guys in my platoon had girlfriends who wrote a letter a day and they got them when we had mail call every few days). Letters kept me going more than phone calls because phone calls were rare and I could reread letters. 

    Keep in mind it's just training. Let this be practice for you for when/if he deploys. Depending on his job, he might not get to call often then either.  
    I hate Dave Ramsey
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    Also, when you do talk to him/write him, try not to be super emotional. Be as positive as possible. The worst thing in the world is to be at training and have your significant other fall apart.
    I hate Dave Ramsey
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    Thank you @Knottie5791268 That's the thing, I was watching my phone like a hawk the entire time he's been gone. I went to play with my god daughter for 12 minutes and boom.... missed the call. It really is devastating.

    Thanks @Kyrgyzstan He called his mom. I know that he's fine it's me that's falling apart without him lol. I do try to write him a lot and that helps. But trying to go about everyday life without this person that's such a huge part of it is incredibly isolating. Things that you did everyday together just feel empty and cold without them.

    I'm glad to know that for he will be ok without the phone call. It's good to have a soldier's perspective. (Also, Thank you and your husband for your service and sacrifice)

    I will definitely try to be positive in my letters. I can imagine that it would be hard to deal with to hear your loved ones falling apart and you can't do anything about it. I'm just going to keep trying to put one foot in front of the other. But honestly it does feel unbearable. I'm sure that I will bear it because I have to, but it feels unbearable. That's just my reality right now. but I know it will get better. I know that its only temporary.

    Thank you guys. Truly it helps to talk about it with people who have a frame of reference on the issue.

    Looking forward to W-Day 7/17/15

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    It's hard to be apart when you aren't used to it. Like Stan said, kind of take this as practice. This is only the beginning. There will be so any more times when you two will be apart. Take this as a time to teach your self to be independent. My husband and I have been together for almost 9 years. We've spent the majority of that time apart for an average of 30 weeks of every year. It's not always easy, but being independent helps.
    Also, write him often. Use those letters as a journal. Tell him how much you live him but keep it up beat. Like Stan, letters got me through Basic. I lived for meal times and mail call. On days I didn't get mail, I went back and read old letters. Even just a funny card from an aunt or cousin meant the world to me. Nearly 10 years after my time in Basic, I still have every single one of those letters and cards in a box.
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    manateehuggermanateehugger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited November 2014
    Ha - this literally happened to me about 45 minutes ago. H and I are long distance (and have been for years) and he's in the field with no cell reception for two weeks. 

    I strongly strongly agree that you should take this time to build up your independence and strength. Build up some hobbies and habits that keep you busy - you'll need them, because this will happen again. Go for walks/runs, take on a craft project, take a class on something you find interesting, etc. It's easier to be pathetic and sad when you're sitting around by yourself missing your person. Cry when you need to, chug a glass of booze of your choice, go to bed, wake up and remind yourself you just made it through another day and get back to being a tough woman.

    Also agree to write to him like you'd write to a journal (well minus the tears - they usually can do without the tears). One of the hardest things about going without contact for me was the fact that we just knew so little about the everyday for each other. So when H was deployed, I wrote 10 random thoughts I had every day in a journal and then would scribble them out and mail them to him. He would do the same when he had a chance 

    And send random crap just for fun. I did send and still do send really stupid cards. I once sent him a coloring book I had halfway colored in. My two favorite letters from him are the back of an MRE box and a flight log (he's a pilot) detailing the way he'd fly home if he could. 

    Cherish these moments; they'll remind you that your relationship is strong even in the face of tough separations. 

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    Oh God, don't send him weird stuff while he's at Basic. They make you open the boxes in front of everyone. Send him moleskin. Send him authorized socks. Send him pens. Send him letters. But definitely wait until he's out of Basic/AIT to send the crazy stuff. Even at OCS they still checked our packages. 
    I hate Dave Ramsey
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    This actually happened to me! My (now) FI was in basic for the Marines my junior year of high school and he was in week like 5 of basic when he called me for the first time. He called at like 1am my time and I was asleep and my phone was on the floor so I never heard it vibrate (back when no kid ever had their phone 'on loud'). He called me 3 times trying to get ahold of me and finally left a voicemail.. I was completely devastated.. he then called again around 3 weeks later and I missed that call as well.. I actually still had the first voicemail (over 4 years later, and he didn't leave one on the later call for some reason) until this past year and I accidentally deleted it :( 
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