NWR: learning a new language is hard.

BrandNewJ

I suck at languages. That gene passed over me right to my brother who speaks 5 languages fluently and learns them in a month. I love him so much, but I wish I got some of that! In 4 years of Spanish in high school, I learned how to say my name and socks. My FI, you all know, is Russian. His dad hardly speaks English and his grandma speaks no English. His aunt apparently thinks I look Russian so she ALWAYS speaks to me in Russian. So I figure, I love this guy and can't wait to spend my life with him, maybe I should learn his language that he will definitely teach our children. It's been like 3 months and I barely know the alphabet. They have 3 Bs that All. Sound. Different. Once I think I got something down, I'm pronouncing it wrong. My East Coast accent trumps any other sound I try to make. So frustrating! I hope I can eventually get this...

southernbelle0915

You'll get there! 

My mom tried learning Spanish with Rosetta Stone. She had a long commute and would listen to it on the way to/from work. She actually got pretty good. Maybe that's an option?

mrscaty

Hang in there! Even if you don't get it perfectly, FH and his family should appreciate the effort you're making.

bethsmiles

I have a lot of trouble learning new languages as well! I took 3 years of French in high school and a year in college and you would never know it! I've always been jealous of people who seem to pick up languages so easily.

Just keep at it!

hellosweetie1015

...you're going from English to Russian? I am super impressed. Like whoa.

I am lucky enough that languages do tend to come easily to me *dodges fruit*, but going from a "Romance" language to a Cyrillic language would be difficult for anyone. The alphabetic differences get harder and harder the further you move from the Romances - French, Spanish, and Italian are typically easily learned by English speakers. German gets a little more difficult (a few added characters like the umlaut [spelling?]), and then Greek, Russian, and other Cyrillic languages that don't use a lot of shared characters with Romances, and then Asian languages that typically don't share any characters. 

I am super super impressed. I'm sure your FI's family is too - they get it, because it works just the same going backwards as it does forwards, the further from your native character set you go, the more difficult it is to learn.

jdluvr06

IMO, Russian is one of the hardest languages to learn. I give you major props for trying. May I ask how you are going about it? Everyone has a different learning method that works best for them. Maybe what you are doing right now isn't working for and you could try another way to go about it.

Keep it up! You'll get it!

BrandNewJ

I have Rosetta Stone, but FI doesn't think it goes through the language the right way, so I've been taking private lessons through a language company. They are very thrilled that I'm trying, I just wish I could get it quicker. I'm going to try to read a book that I know very well in English in Russian to see if I can subconsciously pick up on some new words.

I'm like living in a swirly language world where letters and verb conjunction occur at the same time. Makes my mind boggle. I'd really like to understand his grandma, she's really funny in Russian, apparently. The only phrase that I feel comfortable with is "ya znayou" (I know), it's not helpful as I hardly know anything at all! 

novella1186

Flash cards. For real. Recall is a major part of learning a language, and it's been proven that going through a long list of words in the same order does nothing for retention. But flash cards do the trick! The pronunciation is another story. I've tried to learn some Russian because my family is Russian... it's a tough one.

sarawifenow

The fact that you are trying to learn Russian is so bad ass. I commend you. It is great that your FI and his family are so supportive of you. I'm sure the fact that you are trying means so much to them.

wandajune6

DH's family all speaks Spanish. They switch to English (mostly) when I'm around but no one is as comfortable in English. I studied Spanish for a decade then didn't use it for another 12 years.

I say this because it's shown me how much families appreciate it when you make an effort. There are times when people can't help but laugh but they love that I try. I've avoided taking classes again but practice by seeking out people who speak the language. I try to eat lunch with the Mexican guys at work and chat with them, ask people to speak to me only in Spanish when we're together, etc. It helps.

Russian is one of the hardest languages. My grandmother grew up speaking it and has been trying to pick it up again (she's mid-90's and has dementia and it's actually helping her). It's incredibly difficult.

I'd focus on learning key phrases and mainstream vocabulary. Once you have the basics, you'll be able to understand key ideas in a conversation. I find that I frequently miss verbs and adverbs but the nouns help me figure out the topic. Then DH will help me fill in blanks that I can't figure out on my own.

You're doing something awesome and should be so proud of yourself. I'm sure your FI and his family love you for trying!

levioosa

Um, pat yourself on the back, because going from English straight to Russian is crazy.  

Is there a reason you couldn't attack the Russian from multiple approaches (i.e. the company/reading the book/AND the Rosetta stone?)  I could be totally wrong here, but are the Rosetta Stones specifically made for English natives attempting to speak a different language?  Because if that's the case, it might not make sense to your FI, but it would definitely help you as a native English speaker.  

Perhaps watching some Russian shows or news might help you too?  The more exposure to the language the better.  

BrandNewJ

Thanks for all the words of encouragement and new ideas on how to get this mess through my head! Thank you

IrishPirate60

Duolingo.com gives you fun things to do as you learn.

amelisha

My degree was in Spanish and French and I am super impressed that you're trying to tackle Russian - although I know all these people saying that is probably not making it less intimidating either, haha. Anything with a different alphabet or radically different structure is especially tough, though, so good for you for trying!

My recommendation might seem odd, but it might be easier to start learning aurally/orally only at first and not worrying so much about orthography and written verb conjugation/tenses/cases. Doing spoken/listening only for a while might make it seem more manageable. But obviously, that won't work so well if you learn more visually or really need to see the structure of the language. I get that - I have a huge mental block about language learning in that I need to understand the whys of the grammar and have a sense of how everything fits together and I'm not comfortable just learning conversationally. If you don't have that, though, you'll probably find learning easier if you throw writing and strict attention to grammar by the wayside for a while.

BrandNewJ

amelisha said:

My degree was in Spanish and French and I am super impressed that you're trying to tackle Russian - although I know all these people saying that is probably not making it less intimidating either, haha. Anything with a different alphabet or radically different structure is especially tough, though, so good for you for trying!

My recommendation might seem odd, but it might be easier to start learning aurally/orally only at first and not worrying so much about orthography and written verb conjugation/tenses/cases. Doing spoken/listening only for a while might make it seem more manageable. But obviously, that won't work so well if you learn more visually or really need to see the structure of the language. I get that - I have a huge mental block about language learning in that I need to understand the whys of the grammar and have a sense of how everything fits together and I'm not comfortable just learning conversationally. If you don't have that, though, you'll probably find learning easier if you throw writing and strict attention to grammar by the wayside for a while.

I will definitely try that. I'm pretty sure we have Russian TV. My normal learning technique doesn't work for languages so I do need to figure something different out. The sounds are so difficult when put together, it's nice to see it written out while hearing it out loud.