Thank you!

decembergrl2014

Thank you to everyone who offered advice, support and an ass kicking yesterday! First off, he has NOT had any more cigarettes. He told me on Sunday he was going to, but he said it out of anger and stress. I spoke to my old therapist yesterday, and he basically told me that if I nag him about it that will make him want to do it more. He also told me that I need to figure out if I love him enough to want to stay with him in spite of this, like a lot of you said. My answer is yes. He is a great person in so many ways. He's far from perfect, but the pros by far outweigh the cons. I don't believe in perfection anyway. He also said to focus on the good, and on the here and now. Now he's 5 days without a cigarette. I know it's not a lot, but its a step in the right direction. 37 days to go!

NYCMercedes

decembergrl2014 said:

Thank you to everyone who offered advice, support and an ass kicking yesterday! First off, he has NOT had any more cigarettes. He told me on Sunday he was going to, but he said it out of anger and stress. I spoke to my old therapist yesterday, and he basically told me that if I nag him about it that will make him want to do it more. He also told me that I need to figure out if I love him enough to want to stay with him in spite of this, like a lot of you said. My answer is yes. He is a great person in so many ways. He's far from perfect, but the pros by far outweigh the cons. I don't believe in perfection anyway. He also said to focus on the good, and on the here and now. Now he's 5 days without a cigarette. I know it's not a lot, but its a step in the right direction. 37 days to go!

That's absolutely wonderful that he's gone five days!!!

JoanE2012

decembergrl2014 said:

Thank you to everyone who offered advice, support and an ass kicking yesterday! First off, he has NOT had any more cigarettes. He told me on Sunday he was going to, but he said it out of anger and stress. I spoke to my old therapist yesterday, and he basically told me that if I nag him about it that will make him want to do it more. He also told me that I need to figure out if I love him enough to want to stay with him in spite of this, like a lot of you said. My answer is yes. He is a great person in so many ways. He's far from perfect, but the pros by far outweigh the cons. I don't believe in perfection anyway. He also said to focus on the good, and on the here and now. Now he's 5 days without a cigarette. I know it's not a lot, but its a step in the right direction. 37 days to go!

That's great!  If he's truly only smoked 2 times in the past year, I don't see this being a huge deal to stop completely.  Perhaps he can find an alternative stress reliever.  Working out, sex, picking up a new hobby, or even just venting to each other for 10 minutes each day.  There are plenty of other healthy options.  Good luck!

RebeccaFlower

Thank you for the update, I was wondering. I'm glad you've come to an understanding with each other and you reached out to your therapist. 

theartistformerlyknownas

That's great. I hope you continue to work on the communication issues, and not just stop with the smoking solution.