Trying on dresses with little intention to buy

housewifehobbyist

Hello All,

  I'm not sure if this goes here or etiquette, but I'll give it a try.  My younger sister is getting married next summer, I'm very excited for her.  She lives on the other side of the country, where the wedding will be, but wants to try on wedding dresses at a shop on my coast while she's here for thanksgiving.  Her intention is to go with me, my mother, and a few other important bridesmaids to get the dress trying on experience and get our opinions on shapes and styles.  Here's the little catch- her budget for a dress is on the smaller side (less than $500) and she's not really looking to buy any of the dresses she's trying on, just get a feel for what she wants.  I bought my dress used online (an awesome find!) so I never did the trying on thing.  Is it kosher to book an appointment and take up a salesperson's time if you're not really looking to buy the dress?  It feels a little off to me, but maybe it's a totally normal thing to do.  I'd love some feedback on other peoples thoughts, and if there is anything we should know/do when we go for the faux appointment.

southernbelle0915

When you get to the shop, they'll ask for your budget and what you're looking for. That would be an appropriate time to say "I can't spend any more than $500 and this is my first time trying on so I'm just looking to check our different silhouettes. Here are likes and dislikes."

Who knows? Maybe she'll buy something. What I would think is a waste of time would be to try on dresses way out of her budget that she knows she's definitely not going to buy.

JennyColada

I wouldn't let the sales associate know that you're doing this, because it is kind of rude. I mean, I certainly see the purpose that it serves, but as a retail manager myself it's kind of a slap in the face when people basically tell me "I just want to waste your time!" As it is, there seems to be a culture of "I'm better than you because you're just a lowly retail worker!", so to basically say that your time is more important than mine is really frustrating.

Other than that, I'd be kind of worried about what if she tries something on and LOVES it? Then what? Could she still afford it?

All that being said, I do think that bridal S.A. are probably used to people thinking over their choices and not buying right away, so I doubt you'll be the only ones not walking out with a dress.

esstee33

I don't really see this as being all that different from going into a shop, trying on a ton of dresses WITH the intention to buy, and just not finding one you love. I wouldn't come right out and be like "Totally just here to try stuff on hehehehehe" or anything, but what @southernbelle0915 said is great -- she should tell them she has a strict $500 budget and she's looking to see what kind of dresses in her price range she might like. 

misskinababy

I tried on dresses a few months before I actually bought my dress just to get an idea of what shapes and colors looked good on me. I went to two different stores and told the consultants that I was open to different shapes and colors, but didn't want to spend over a certain amount. And the consultants were respectful about my choice. After those appointments, I knew what shape and color I was going for. 

CMGragain

If you are trying on dresses to help you choose a dress, that is fine.  You might just find "the one".
If you are a bored 20-something who is trying on dresses "for fun", that is NOT fine,  It is a waste of everyone's time, and there is wear and tear on the merchandise.

pearlluo

It is very normal to do so.And many salesperson know it!As you know,most of us will not buy a dress after trying it on.Maybe we don't like the style,maybe the color or just as you said we just want to see if it is suitable for we.I have a friend who is a saleswoman,I once aked her what will she do when somebody just trying it and don't have the will to buy it.She said such kind of people are also welcomed for the following two reasons.1,It shows the dresses she sell are welcomed so people have the will to try.2 There are many women buy it at the last while she originally just want to try it on andfind she really love the dress.So just feel free to try on!Oh,there are also some salesperson are tired of people who just trying them,you'd better ask if you can try on first.

Maggie0829

Personally I don't see the point of going to try on dresses if you aren't ready to purchase one.  Yes, brides may go to a handful of shops to try on gowns to find their dress (I mean it typically does take a few times to find the right one), but (hopefully) when they walk into that first shop and try on that first dress they should be prepared to buy because if you aren't and you find a dress you love then what?

Also, you say your sisters budget is $500 or less.  Hopefully she isn't planning on trying on dresses that are over her budget because even though she says she isn't going to buy anything you just never know.  So if you are going to try on dresses you should be prepared to potentially buy.

badbnagdway

It's fine to go in knowing she needs to narrow down her basic likes and dislikes. I agree with others that trying on dresses far outside of her budget is just not a good idea. If she tries on a $1,500 dress and falls in love with it she may be disappointed with her in-budget options. 

Are there any bridal consignment stores around you? Because those will potentially also have more options. Maybe she should also consider some of the retailers that do bridal if they have stores in your area (JCrew, BHLDN). 

But overall, no, I don't necessarily think it's rude to go to a bridal store and try on some things. If your sister wanted to go to 10 bridal salons maybe that would be different, but bridal salons are stores just like anywhere else and they expect not everyone who tries on will purchase from them. 

weddingcactus

I think it's very reasonable. Everyone has to start somewhere and I think it's great that she wants to get your opinions on shapes, styles, etc. I do absolutely agree that your sister needs to be careful not to go to a store above her budget though. I'm not saying that dresses under $500 are bad, but there can be a big difference between a $1500 or $3000 dress and a $500 dress. If she tries on a bunch of $1500+ dresses, she may fall in love with one or struggle to be satisfied with the dresses in her price range. 

Maggie0829

I would like to just clarify that I don't think it is bad to go try on dresses and then not buy something because you couldn't find anything you like.  What I do think is a bad idea is not being prepared and able to buy a dress when you go shopping because, just because you say you are just going to look, doesn't mean that you may not find something that you love and want.

Dress shopping is just like shopping for anything else.  When I go shopping at the mall and I try things on I am prepared to spend money if I find something that I like.  If I am not prepared to spend my money then I don't try things on.

housewifehobbyist

Thank you all for your input!  I think she wants the best of both worlds, and I see some disappointment in her future.  I know she wants to try on dresses out of her budget, and I too am afraid she falls in love with something she can't afford.  She can be argumentative, so I'm trying to put this as lightly as possible and let her find out from experience.  She has a really clear idea of what she wants (lace, illusion neckline, straps wide enough to accommodate a bra under, mermaid or trumpet cut) and she keeps sending me Chinese knockoff site dresses which she considers in her budget.  I may have skewed her expectations with my $3,000 dress I got for a steal ($550, and resold for $400) but buying used I had to make some sacrifices as well.  I really hope seeing how much money her dream dress costs will allow her to lower her expectations and find something she loves in her price range.

CMGragain

housewifehobbyist said:

Thank you all for your input!  I think she wants the best of both worlds, and I see some disappointment in her future.  I know she wants to try on dresses out of her budget, and I too am afraid she falls in love with something she can't afford.  She can be argumentative, so I'm trying to put this as lightly as possible and let her find out from experience.  She has a really clear idea of what she wants (lace, illusion neckline, straps wide enough to accommodate a bra under, mermaid or trumpet cut) and she keeps sending me Chinese knockoff site dresses which she considers in her budget.  I may have skewed her expectations with my $3,000 dress I got for a steal ($550, and resold for $400) but buying used I had to make some sacrifices as well.  I really hope seeing how much money her dream dress costs will allow her to lower her expectations and find something she loves in her price range.

Tell her that there are legitimate discount places where you can order over the telephone (not Maggie Sottero).  It would be really tacky to mention this to the sales staff, though.  Savings can be about 30% to 40%.

http://www.pearlsplace.com
http://www.rkbridal.com
http://www.netbride.com

housewifehobbyist

Oh that's really great CMGragain-  I'll let her know about those! Thank you!

Dignity100

housewifehobbyist said:

Thank you all for your input!  I think she wants the best of both worlds, and I see some disappointment in her future.  I know she wants to try on dresses out of her budget, and I too am afraid she falls in love with something she can't afford.  She can be argumentative, so I'm trying to put this as lightly as possible and let her find out from experience.  She has a really clear idea of what she wants (lace, illusion neckline, straps wide enough to accommodate a bra under, mermaid or trumpet cut) and she keeps sending me Chinese knockoff site dresses which she considers in her budget.  I may have skewed her expectations with my $3,000 dress I got for a steal ($550, and resold for $400) but buying used I had to make some sacrifices as well.  I really hope seeing how much money her dream dress costs will allow her to lower her expectations and find something she loves in her price range.

Just tell her that every dress she tries on either be ready to walk away from to find a dress in her budget or bring out her checkbook and purchase.  There are many sites that will show you what you get from the knockoff sites and the horror stories.  Again, the argument made here is 'are you ready to lose that money if the dress shows up and it is not even CLOSE to what you imagined'.  Dresses on tradesy or preowneddresses are USUALLY around the 50% mark, but not always, so if that's the route she's looking at going, make sure she understands that she is relying on others to be selling THAT dress in a similar size that she needs and a price in her budget.  If she's pretty stubborn, she's going to do what she wants without regard for even her own feelings and potentially disappoint herself.