The Grass is Greener Where You Water It

lc07

I feel like there are two totally different stories I could tell you about my life at the moment. It's interesting. I posted earlier about my health coach. She's not a psychologist (I also see a psychologist and psychiatrist; I'm Californian after all) I meet with my health coach once a week. She inspired this post.

The Bad News:

-my divorce was recently finalized

-I'm fucking miserable about this

-I feel addicted to food

-I'm slightly overweight and don't like how I look

-Kitty died 10 days ago - she was 18 years old. I adopted her when I was 14. I don't really remember life without her.

-I'm on a cocktail of psych meds and they make me feel all sorts of fucked up

-I live 3,000 miles away from my family and all but one of my best friends

-I feel like I lost the life I had worked for and planned

The Good News:

-I own two successful businesses

-I am healthy

-I have experienced great love in my life that some people never experience

-I live within 10 miles of a beach with amazing weather year round

-I don't have to set an alarm clock 80% of the time and I am my own boss

-I do what I want to do day to day

-I have a kick-ass family even if they're far away

-I have the most amazing friends on planet earth even if most of them aren't close by

-I can afford to hire a health coach, eat organic and buy whatever food I want, have an unlimited yoga and gym membership

-I am safe and sheltered and not in imminent danger

-You guys are in my life and keep me cracking up/sane/down to earth

I wrote this really quickly. I'm sure I'll wish I had listed other things after I hit "post". My point is that my truth is both of these stories. And there are days when I get really stuck on just the bad. And that really is my life. So that's the version of my life that I tell myself and project. But it's not the whole story. I'm trying to remember and focus on the good while not sweeping the bad under the rug. Because I really do believe that what we focus on becomes more and more real to us.

What are your good/bad that come to mind immediately?

raissyrais

See how your Good News far outweigh the Bad? Keep on rocking girl! I have more positives in my life than negatives but always trying to see the good in everything!

esstee33

All your bad things have a silver lining, lady. Your divorce being finalized gives you the opportunity to lock it away and start working on healing and moving forward to the rest of your awesome life! The fact that you're miserable about it is a totally normal and healthy response for a human being who is still capable of feeling a range of emotions. At the height of my worst depressions, I always felt the most awful when I couldn't feel any emotion at all, really -- just a steady apathy. The fact that you're feeling things, even bad things, is good! What's that cheesy saying? "You can't see the stars without the darkness?" You'll come out on the other side of this so much stronger and wiser. 

Also, I'm slightly overweight and not always totally happy with how I look, but you know what? Grilled cheese sandwiches taste better than skinny feels. Fuck it. Do you, and love you, even when you're a little squishy. 

charlieyankee03

Sorry to hear about your kitty. I'm sure you gave her a wonderful 18 years.

As for the rest, you are blessed with an awesome perspective. Keep on keeping on

climbingsingle

I just want to say that I think you're totally inspiring. Your Good News items are proof that you really know how to look on the bright side, and IMO that's a special skill that not everyone possesses. 

KatieinBkln

You are really awesome. Just wanted to tell you.

novella1186

I love your outlook on things. It is so amazing that you can list all those positive things and not just feel sorry for yourself on the bad things. I get stuck in ruts too where I only look at the bad. You're inspiring! 

Sometimes when I'm focused on bad stuff, I just need something to knock me back into the right perspective. I was sitting in my doctor's office a few years ago because I had (yet another) kidney stone. Those things fucking hurt, and I was feeling so sorry for myself because why do I have to keep getting kidney stones? Why me? Why a thing that hurts so bad? Right then, this lady wheeled in a kid in a wheelchair who was severely mentally and physically handicapped. Would clearly never get the chance to get up and walk around on his own, or live a "normal" life. He even had a breathing tube. I was suddenly so glad to have that stupid kidney stone. 

doeydo

I am so sorry about your kitty.  I am sure you gave her a long and happy life.  

wandajune6

I love your approach! It's also quite timely for me.

I lost my shit last night. SS has been going through an asshole phase. MIL showed up at our house for a 3rd night in a row, bringing piles of wonderful but hideously unhealthy homemade food while I was making dinner. I'm wearing my fat jeans. DH didn't get home from class until 11:30 last night and we haven't had more than 15 minutes together awake in 2 weeks- not that it has been considerably better in the month before that. We never go to bed or wake up in the morning at the same time anymore. I've had lots of issues on my old house (currently rented) that I really want his advice and help on but he doesn't have time. I miss him horribly and, quite frankly, am having a shitty first month of married life.

Your approach helps. DH isn't around because he's working his ass off to finish his degree to make life better for our family. He's cramming 3 semesters into 2 and will be done in May. Yes, MIL is fattening me up horribly but she's doing it because she loves feeding her family. We're also incredibly lucky- she's going through treatment for stage 4 ovarian cancer but feels amazing. Even though it's hard having people at our house all the time, SS and I are very lucky to be able to spend time with her while she's feeling healthy. I think being with us and feeding us keeps her mind off things, something I can appreciate.

Sometimes things are just very hard. Thank you for the perspective check.

levioosa

Keep moving forward!  I am so sorry for the loss of your kitty.  You're doing an awesome job of spinning the negatives into positives, so don't give up!  

*hugs*

lc07

Thank you guys. You're all so sweet!