So FI and I got engaged in April and have had our date set since June.
FI's cousin(FMIL's nephew) got engaged I think sometime over the summer, I'm not really sure when because we don't interact much. FMIL got a STD in the mail yesterday for their wedding on the same day as ours.
I feel pretty bad about this because 1) we definitely can't back out on our date now. We've sent in deposits for all of our vendors and I would never ask our wedding party to change weekends at this stage.
And 2) this is FMIL's nephew. It's not just some random distant cousin.
To both parties defense, we don't interact that much. FI and I live 4 hours from FI's family. We interact with his parents multiple times a week over the phone, but hardly ever with extended families. FMIL and her sister don't even interact a whole lot to be in the same city. Annnnnd FMIL's whole family is a little 'interesting' but that's a post for another day.
FI is pissed because even being out of town, at least 3 people KNEW our date, FI's grandmother, his aunt (who's son is getting married), and his other aunt. But as I told FI, no one cares about our wedding as much as we do, so I doubt those 3 people ran to their calendars and circled the date as soon as they found out about ours. Plus 2 of those 3 people are HIGHLY unreliable in life in general, so I wouldn't depend on them to remember a date.
However, one thing that irks me is that FMIL spoke with the bride(marrying FI's cousin) about the wedding because bride wanted FMIL to make her wedding cake (FMIL makes cakes for a living, she's doing ours too). Why weren't dates mentioned somewhere in that conversation? Something like, "Will you do our cake for the wedding?" "Sure! When is it?" "We're not sure yet, but sometime in the Spring." "Okay that sounds great, I'm free any weekend except X Date, that's lulu and lulu FI's wedding."
This just sucks because again this isn't some distant relative. This is FMIL's nephew. Which means FI's family will have to choose who's wedding to come to. We're getting married where we live, and they're getting married where they all live which is of course 4 hours away just like FMIL and FFIL. FI says he doesn't care if they don't come to ours, but I think really he does. I would be crushed if half my family didn't show up. And they're right to go to the cousin's wedding instead, because I'm assuming they all got STDs this week so they will have known about their's first, and we aren't doing STDs so they won't find out about ours for sure until invites go out in February or March.
Sorry this is so long-winded, I don't know how all my posts end up like that.
TL;DR: No one in FMIL's family obviously communicates so FI's cousin is getting married the same date as us, in different states.
Edited because my brain was moving faster than my fingers. Also edited the title to make more sense. Edited again in case the other bride is a lurker.