Bridal shower host - Using her house

mceciliasantos

I am throwing a bridal shower for a friend. Her aunt has a wonderful house with a spectacular terrace. At bride's requested, I asked if it would be OK to have the shower at her house. She was very kind and said that it would not be a problem. I have offered to take care of everything, from the food, to decoration to invites. I am even having someone come over afterwards to clean up so aunt doesn't have to worry about a thing.
Question is... Should I include aunt as a host in the invites? I am worried that she might get offended if I don't. However, I am also worried that including her as a "host"  might make her feel that she has to take on more responsibilities in planning and so forth, and I really do not want to be a burden!

theartistformerlyknownas

mceciliasantos said:

I am throwing a bridal shower for a friend. Her aunt has a wonderful house with a spectacular terrace. At bride's requested, I asked if it would be OK to have the shower at her house. She was very kind and said that it would not be a problem. I have offered to take care of everything, from the food, to decoration to invites. I am even having someone come over afterwards to clean up so aunt doesn't have to worry about a thing.
Question is... Should I include aunt as a host in the invites? I am worried that she might get offended if I don't. However, I am also worried that including her as a "host"  might make her feel that she has to take on more responsibilities in planning and so forth, and I really do not want to be a burden!

My FSILs hosted my shower at FMILs house, and the invitations said something like "hosted by RS, LP, and NS at the home of CK." Covered all the bases.

blabla89

Just ask her. Tell her that you'd like to list her as a host on the invitation because you are so grateful for her having the shower at her home, reiterate that you will still take care of everything else, and ask if that would be okay with her.

plainjane0415

Just throwing this out there, but do you have to include people's names as hosts on the invitation?  Just thinking out loud here I just didn't know if listing the hosts on the invitation was a requirement or not etiquette wise.

theartistformerlyknownas

plainjane0415 said:

Just throwing this out there, but do you have to include people's names as hosts on the invitation?  Just thinking out loud here I just didn't know if listing the hosts on the invitation was a requirement or not etiquette wise.

A host should list him- or herself on the invitations, yes. This designates them as the point person for any questions. YOU do not include them because you don't create your own invitations for a party hosted in your honor.

plainjane0415

Thanks @lolo883.  That clears it up.  However, I wasn't meaning that to come from a brides point of view, but I see what you are saying.  I just didn't know if it was something that had to be on a shower invite or not.  I've received invites several ways in the past, i. e. hosted by friends and family, hosted by _______, no host listed at all....

holyguacamole79

plainjane0415 said:

Thanks @lolo883.  That clears it up.  However, I wasn't meaning that to come from a brides point of view, but I see what you are saying.  I just didn't know if it was something that had to be on a shower invite or not.  I've received invites several ways in the past, i. e. hosted by friends and family, hosted by _______, no host listed at all....

I just got a shower invite like this "hosted by friends & family".  I had NO idea whom I was calling when I RSVPed (it just had a phone number - no name).  And it was even more awkward that I don't even know the bride-to-be. 

(Her FI is one of my husband's cousins.  I have met this cousin once at our wedding, and he attempted to grind on me during the reception.  I only knew who the bride-to-be was after I saw the BBB registry insert and saw his name).

Yes, it is appropriate to list the name(s) of the host / hostess.

mceciliasantos

Thank you! These responses have truly been helpful!

plainjane0415

 

holyguacamole79 said:

plainjane0415 said:

Thanks @lolo883.  That clears it up.  However, I wasn't meaning that to come from a brides point of view, but I see what you are saying.  I just didn't know if it was something that had to be on a shower invite or not.  I've received invites several ways in the past, i. e. hosted by friends and family, hosted by _______, no host listed at all....

I just got a shower invite like this "hosted by friends & family".  I had NO idea whom I was calling when I RSVPed (it just had a phone number - no name).  And it was even more awkward that I don't even know the bride-to-be. 

(Her FI is one of my husband's cousins.  I have met this cousin once at our wedding, and he attempted to grind on me during the reception.  I only knew who the bride-to-be was after I saw the BBB registry insert and saw his name).

Yes, it is appropriate to list the name(s) of the host / hostess.

Good to know!  I can see how that would be awkward for invitees and RSVPing if there was no host name or anything.

[Deleted User]

I was once listed as a "host" on a bridal shower invitation because the bride's mother wanted a younger tech-savvier person listed with an email address to receive the RSVPs.  So, while I was happy to host in the sense that I received the responses and answered necessary questions, I didn't contribute a dime to the having of this party.