What to call a parental substitute in the program

KylaSedai_23635864

Help! We're putting the programs together, and can't think of what to call the woman who is acting as FH's mother on the day. She's a very close friend of the family, and really stepped in for him after his mother passed away. They're very explicitly not religious and she does not want to be listed as a "Godmother."

Any ideas on what we can call her? "Special Friend" seems awkward, and "Fulfilling the Duties of Mother of the Groom" or "Serving as Mother of the Groom" sound both awkward and pretentious. 

Thanks!

holyguacamole79

KylaSedai said:

Help! We're putting the programs together, and can't think of what to call the woman who is acting as FH's mother on the day. She's a very close friend of the family, and really stepped in for him after his mother passed away. They're very explicitly not religious and she does not want to be listed as a "Godmother."

Any ideas on what we can call her? "Special Friend" seems awkward, and "Fulfilling the Duties of Mother of the Groom" or "Serving as Mother of the Groom" sound both awkward and pretentious. 

Thanks!

What is she actually doing during the wedding ceremony? Is there a reason why you feel the need to list her?

KylaSedai_23635864

She's being escorted in as if she were the mother of the groom, she'll be one of the ones lighting a candle for the unity ceremony, and dancing with the groom at the reception. She's a hugely important person to him (and both of us) and we'd like to honor her.

[Deleted User]

Jane Doe - "A Dear Friend of the Family" or just "A Dear Friend"?!?

KylaSedai_23635864

That has a nice ring to it. We also found a suggestion for "Bonus Mom." It'll give FH a few things to choose from, at least - thank you so much!

holyguacamole79

KylaSedai said:

She's being escorted in as if she were the mother of the groom, she'll be one of the ones lighting a candle for the unity ceremony, and dancing with the groom at the reception. She's a hugely important person to him (and both of us) and we'd like to honor her.

When listing the "steps" of the ceremony, note that she will be lighting the unity candle. 

 For example,

Where it says "candle lighting ceremony", include her name with your mothers name. I wouldn't list her with the family as to not confuse people.  If you are giving a corsage to your mom, give her one as well.  

As she is important to you & FI, I would find a way to thank her privately.  Listing her in the program isn't much of an "honor", if you ask me.

CMGragain

No one can substitute for your FI's mother.  (I assume she is deceased?)  I think this is a terrible idea.

climbingsingle

The term "bonus mom" kind of rubs me the wrong way. 

alyssanicole18

One of my friends had this situation. Her husbands Mom wasn't in the picture and his Aunt practically raised him. They just put her name, and later at the reception he spoke before their dance and said she was like a Mother to him and etc. they didn't mark it special in the program, just explained later.

PrettyGirlLost

Just list this woman by her first and last name.  Don't make up a silly title for her that may actually be offensive.

Not trying to sound harsh, but honestly your wedding guests don't really care who is who in your wedding party, it's all kind of irrelevant to them. 

We had a full catholic mass and didn't bother with programs and they were not remotley missed.

Jen4948

Just list her by name.  She doesn't need a "role" or "title."

jacques27

Another vote for no cutesy role or title (and definitely not "bonus mom" - ugh!) or "serving as".  I also wouldn't call it a "mother/son" dance and act like she's a substitute - the DJ can just say something like "And now the groom would like to dance with *Kathy*, who holds a special place in his life..." or something like that.  Her first and last name is fine next to whatever part she plays in the ceremony is fine.  Give her a corsage as well.

People will "get" that she's important by virtue of the fact that she's part of the proceedings.  No one is going to think you just plucked a random stranger off the street to walk down the aisle or do the unity candle.