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Ceremony and Vow Ideas

Should my ceremony be outdoors?

My mother and I have been debating on the best option for my wedding ceremony which will be May 25, 2015. It is ultimately my choice as my mother is not paying for the wedding but I would love for you all to share your opinions on the matter.

My mother’s choice: Have the wedding in the same hall that where reception will be held (Tallahassee Woman’s Club) with everyone seated at their tables. While I agree the comfort of the AC would be nice, I have many concerns about doing it this way: it’s an awkward setup, nowhere to “hide” before ceremony, how do we handle the exit and re-entrance?

(Having a room switch over is not an option as there is nowhere for guests to go.)

 

My choice: Have the wedding at the park just across the street from the reception venue. I love this idea because the park is beautiful with its huge moss covered oaks and alleviates much of the awkwardness of having everything in one spot. However, my mother is convinced that everyone will die of heat stroke.

Weather.com says the averages for that day of the year are: average high-89, average low-65, and the mean is 77. The ceremony will be at 1:30 in the afternoon which, admittedly, is close to the hottest time of day. I have suggested that we have the ceremony under one of the shady oaks, set up an ice water/lemonade station at a nearby picnic table, and have program fans at every seat. None of this has appeased my mother and she insists the ceremony should be indoors.

Should we do it outside and it rains, I don’t mind using the first option as a backup but would really prefer the park if given the option. Also, the only added expenses would be $20 to rent the park (not a typo, it really is only twenty!) and chair rentals which I estimated to be about $150.

So, do y’all think mother knows best or is it fine to have it in the park?

Re: Should my ceremony be outdoors?

  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    89 is way too freaking hot for an outdoor ceremony. I think 77 is too. You can plan for the outdoor ceremony if you want and use the reception space as a backup, but not just for rain. Anything above like 72 or below like 65 should be indoors.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • I know it sounds bad but outdoor weddings would not exist in Florida should we only do them under 72. Last year my fiancé and I went to an outdoor wedding on Memorial Day weekend (same as ours) and it was fine. It was a little hot but they did not have any of my accommodations, they just stuck us right in the sun.

    I like the idea of having a backup for heat but would hate to rent chairs for no reason. I'm a budget bride!

    weddingcactus
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I think it really depends on the humidity level at that time of year plus the actual temperature.  I mean it could be 78-80 degrees but if the humidity level is high then it would be super uncomfortable to sit outside for any length of time.  Personally humidity is more of a killer then actual temperature (well unless you get about 95 and then it is just hot period).

    So you definitely need a plan B in case of unseasonably hot/humid weather and for rain.  I understand that you are a budget bride but when you want an outdoor wedding sometimes renting chairs that you may or may not use due to the weather is something that you have to accept.

    [Deleted User]
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Where's your FI in all of this? What does he think?

    southernbelle0915BlueBirdMBemmyg65
  • IMO if you wanted an outdoor wedding in FL you should have scheduled for March. It sounds like your date/time is guaranteed to be over 80 and that's just too hot to expect people to endure in nice clothes.
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    STARMOON44
  • Just looked up the average humidity, it is 50% at that time of day and that time of year.

    I think the reason I am having such a hard time letting go of the outside ceremony is because summer outdoor weddings happen all the time here. I don't understand why mine is such a big deal especially when it is very early summer.  

    My fiancé says that he is happy doing it either way. He is one of those that says he just wants me to be happy, the details don't matter as long as he gets to marry me (suck up!). He says the heat won't bother him and that I should do what I want and not worry about what my mom has to say.

  • As for the date, we choose that date because it would have been his grandfather's 90th birthday and he passed away in February.
  • For any outdoor wedding, you need "activate Plan B" standards. So for example: 

    - humidity under 50% and temperature under 75 - you'll do it outside; 
    - anything above 75 degrees, or above 50% humidity or if there's precipitation - you'll move it indoors. 

    And those would be my suggested conditions, too - no rain, 75 or under and 50% humidity or under. 

    If you don't have standards going into it, you're likely to let emotions get the better of you and make excuses to yourself with reasons to do what you want - "well it's not THAT hot", "lots of brides do this...." etc. 

    When you say lots of people have summer weddings in Florida, of course! I'm sure they do. There are probably also lots of people who have winter weddings in Michigan *because snowy winter wonderland vision*. When the reality is that it's just not a good time in either place. I went to an outdoor wedding in Texas in August that was fucking miserable. They had a lemonade, sweet tea, ice water stand and butlers passing it out along with fans. Made no difference. It was hot as hell and people were all kinds of pissed at the B&G. Of course to their faces, people said "how lovely!" "oh just beautiful" and then grumbled all the way back to the bar.
    *********************************************************************************

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  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Ok. Just keep this in mind. I got married outside at the end of September in NY. Ceremony started at 12:30pm and it was sunny, without a cloud in the sky. There was no humidity, but it ended up being about 75 degrees. We had a short 15 minute ceremony. 

    By the time the receiving line was done, H and I both were dripping with sweat. It was really hot standing in the sun, especially considering I was wearing a large wedding dress, and he was in a suit and tie. We had to hightail it back to the bridal suite just to freshen up. I literally was looking for a fan to hold under my dress. And that was in 75 degree weather. 

  • I'm actually on board for having the ceremony in the park across the street but using the reception venue as a plan b in case it rains or its too hot not just for your guests, but keep in mind your groom in his suit and you in your dress depending on your dress. What temp is considered hot, I'll leave that up to you and your FI because what a southern person considers hot can be totally different then what a northern considers hot. My friends in florida thinkg 60 is cold and have the blankets out, while I'm up in Ohio and for me 60 is awesome & sleeping with the windows open weather. While I'm dying at 80 degress but they are loving it. It's a matter of knowing your guests.

    In case you have to go through plan b, you just show up last minute and basically walk straight into the ceremony, for the exit I went to two weddings held at the reception venue, they just walked through the isle & then stood there greating everyone as they left the seats & headed towards the bar while the venue moved the chairs from the dance floor back to the tables. So said hi & got a drink and by time that was done, the chairs were already back. 

    You can always put a note in your invite "if the weather is not cooperative, the ceremoney will be held at the reception venue with the same start time." If you plan for both, you can make a final decision 24 hours prior. Yes, you may lose some money on the park rental & any chair rentals, etc you may need. But I think it may be a win win situation because you can plan for what you want, but still take into mind what your mom mentioned about comfort level of guests.

  • Just looked up the average humidity, it is 50% at that time of day and that time of year.

    I think the reason I am having such a hard time letting go of the outside ceremony is because summer outdoor weddings happen all the time here. I don't understand why mine is such a big deal especially when it is very early summer.  

    My fiancé says that he is happy doing it either way. He is one of those that says he just wants me to be happy, the details don't matter as long as he gets to marry me (suck up!). He says the heat won't bother him and that I should do what I want and not worry about what my mom has to say.

    Other people doing something does not make it a good thing to do. 50% humidity and 80+ degrees is miserable when you're all dressed up for a wedding.
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    Maggie0829
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited November 2014
    Several people asked me if any part of my daughter's wedding was going to be outside.  When I replied, "no." they were visibly relieved.  Thank God for the invention of air conditioning!  Daughter's July wedding day was 105 degrees in Washington, DC!
    I think your mother is being very practical and thinking of your guests' comfort, which should be your first consideration.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • I don't think there's anything wrong with planning for an outdoor ceremony in your case, provided you don't mind allocating part of your budget toward the chairs knowing it might get rained out and you'd have to go with plan B inside. 

    As long as you have a shaded area for guests to wait/sit in, I think you're in the clear. You have great ideas to keep your guests cool with fans and cold beverages. Worst case scenario, it ends up being 98 degrees and you go with plan B.

    I'd like to add, no one thought our wedding would ever successfully be held outside. The average temperatures for our wedding date were around 60 degrees, and generally the end of October is cloudy and rainy. We had one of the most gorgeous days of the year, so it worked out beautifully.  
    image
  • cupcait927cupcait927 Western NY wine country member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Ok. Just keep this in mind. I got married outside at the end of September in NY. Ceremony started at 12:30pm and it was sunny, without a cloud in the sky. There was no humidity, but it ended up being about 75 degrees. We had a short 15 minute ceremony. 

    By the time the receiving line was done, H and I both were dripping with sweat. It was really hot standing in the sun, especially considering I was wearing a large wedding dress, and he was in a suit and tie. We had to hightail it back to the bridal suite just to freshen up. I literally was looking for a fan to hold under my dress. And that was in 75 degree weather. 

    Everyting @ClimbingBrideNY said. I also got married on the 27th, in Western NY, and it was almost 80 degrees that day. I was so hot and sweaty in my dress while taking pictures during the day and poor H probably lost 5 pounds just from sweating. Our ceremony wasn't until 6:30 and it was still pretty warm at that time but more bearable as the sun was close to setting.
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Vendor alert, @artbyallie



  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I think that while your mother is incorrect in that you should have an indoor ceremony, period, I do think you should have a Plan B location if you are going to have an outdoor ceremony just in case weather conditions make that necessary, which would include really hot weather that leaves guests sweating, as well as rain or heavy wind.  Your guests' comfort does need to be a high priority for you and your FI.
  • Do you have to have it at that location? Why can't you just pick a reception space that has 2 areas? Also, keep in mind if it rains you will need a back-up plan!

    We are planning an outside ceremony in July. However, its an evening ceremony (6:30pm)
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