Facebook Wedding Invitation

OnionBreath

So, I wanted to know your thoughts on a Facebook Wedding Invitation.

I received one today from a friend that I used to volunteer with. I can't decide if I should take it seriously or not. Is this a thing? Am I a bad person for judging?

The wedding is January 3rd. It says they want to "Make the most important resolutions this year".   Are the vows supposed to be resolutions??

There are about 75 people invited off facebook...so not their entire Facebook list, so maybe I was one of the selected few?

There's no indication about whether my fiance is invited. There's no indication that there will be food. It's at 6 pm. There is champagne on the invitation.

I feel like if there's one thing in your life that you should have a special, printed invitation for, it should be your wedding. Maybe I'm too old school. This just feels like a BBQ invite to me....or a New Year's Party.

syoun1nj

I think it's tacky, but it sounds like her actual invitation? I'd message to ask if your fiance is included. If not, I'd personally decline, but that's your call. Having it at 6pm *should* indicate a meal...but who knows. My invitation (printed and mailed) didn't mention food but we provided dinner. It did say "Reception to follow" though.

holyguacamole79

OnionBreath said:

So, I wanted to know your thoughts on a Facebook Wedding Invitation.

I received one today from a friend that I used to volunteer with. I can't decide if I should take it seriously or not. Is this a thing? Am I a bad person for judging?

The wedding is January 3rd. It says they want to "Make the most important resolutions this year".   Are the vows supposed to be resolutions??

There are about 75 people invited off facebook...so not their entire Facebook list, so maybe I was one of the selected few?

There's no indication about whether my fiance is invited. There's no indication that there will be food. It's at 6 pm. There is champagne on the invitation.

I feel like if there's one thing in your life that you should have a special, printed invitation for, it should be your wedding. Maybe I'm too old school. This just feels like a BBQ invite to me....or a New Year's Party.

I would side-eye it.

smalfrie19

eeecccckkkkkhhh TACKY! I mean... yeah no... no words.. sorry. 

raissyrais

I do not like this at all. I find it tacky.

esstee33

Ew, yeah, I would judge the shit out of this. 

I wonder if there are people who DID receive actual, paper invitations? I'd suspect B-listing, but this is 8 weeks out, so I guess probably not. 

novella1186

Gross. I would probably decline just based on how tacky the facebook invite is. But that's just me. I understand wanting to cut costs or whatever since weddings are so expense but I would find other places to cut costs, like less flowers, rather than not even sending an actual paper invitation. Come on, people! 

lovegood90

Tacky for sure IMO. If I was close to them and wanted to go, I might message them and ask if my SO would be invited. If the answer was no, then I'd definitely decline.

Liatris2010

If they can't manage to properly invite people, I doubt they'll be able to properly host people. I would decline.

climbingsingle

That is tacky as hell! 

Maggie0829

I agree with scribe.  Was it a good way to invite people to a wedding?  Not really.  Would I decline based solely on the fact that they used FB to invite people?  No.  Maybe the wedding is super casual. And unless they included nothing about a reception then there is no reason to assume that there won't be food.  I mean a typical wedding invitation says nothing of what is being provided so why should a FB invite do the opposite?

I would just contact the couple and ask if my SO was invited as well (if they only did FB invites and they aren't friends with the SO then they couldn't really send it to him) and then determine if you want to go or not.

There have been plenty of cases of weddings that had paper invites that were hosted like complete shit so just because you receive a paper invite doesn't mean that the wedding will be a well hosted affair.

thisismynickname2

Heck, I'd just Facebook message her every question you have about the wedding that she omitted from her invitation. There's a lesson learned... 75 people bombarding her with stuff.

"Is it just me or is my fiance invited too? Is it just the ceremony at 6pm or is there a reception afterwards? Do you have a hotel block? Is there transportation from a hotel to the venue? Parking? Where are you registered?"

I wouldn't decline based solely on the fact that it's tacky, but only you can decide if you'd attend without your fiance. And January 3, depending on where you live, could be brutal for weather and travel. 

weddingcactus

I find using Facebook as an invitation tool to be incredibly tacky. I might use it as an excuse to not attend a wedding if I wasn't that interested in going in the first place. But if I really cared about the couple getting married, then I'd still go. I'd probably be inclined to call the person to ask the details because I wouldn't want to use FB. But you should go ahead and ask in whatever way makes you comfortable.

mikenberger

Tacky and lazy. I can make a Facebook event from my phone. Put a little effort into showing your guests they are important with a 0.47 stamp and an invite. I can only imagine what the reception will be like if they cut corners on invites.

novella1186

I probably read too much into the OP, but I got the impression that OP and bride weren't close. If I wasn't close to someone and was invited via facebook, I would decline. If my best friend invited me via facebook, I would question her tactics but it's not like I'd skip an important wedding just because of the invite delivery method. 

Regardless, though, I see it as tacky and a little bit thoughtless. 

OnionBreath

I facebook messaged her and asked if my fiane was invited and she said 'Of course, the more the merrier!".  I asked if there was a meal, or if we should eat before. She said there will be "some" food, and 'light" alcohol.

So I'm guessing appetizers and spiked punch maybe.

I found out from one of her bridesmaids that there WERE paper invites sent to people who don't have facebook and a few others to save money.  I don't think I was blisted I just think think this is bizarre. How willthey plan food?

My mom asked me if I would get this person a gift if I wasn't attneding the wendding. I said no.

She said that I shouldn't go then. I don't really get that logic or what gift giving has to do with it.

 I think we might just go and leave if we get hungry or if it's no fun. I wonder how many people are thinking about it like I am that were invited.

txbandwife

Wow, it's interesting to read the responses above. 

I've sent paper invites to close family and friends that are likely to come to our destination wedding. 

Being military, I have friends all over the world who would wish me well, today I am putting together a social media invite/announcement just to let people know and give them the option to come if desired. Since we're doing a destination wedding at Christmastime, it's likely to be a small crowd (though the reception can easily be expanded if needed).  We're not registered, so I don't think people will interpret as a veiled request for gifts.

To OP it really depends on the culture - at my last duty station I hung out with a significantly younger crowd and they used facebook event invites for EVERYTHING (even weddings).  It irritated me at first, but eventually I saw how much easier it was to plan things.  Now that I'm back to dealing with folks who some don't even text, I miss the ease of online planning.

climbingsingle

txbandwife said:

Wow, it's interesting to read the responses above. 

I've sent paper invites to close family and friends that are likely to come to our destination wedding. 

Being military, I have friends all over the world who would wish me well, today I am putting together a social media invite/announcement just to let people know and give them the option to come if desired. Since we're doing a destination wedding at Christmastime, it's likely to be a small crowd (though the reception can easily be expanded if needed).  We're not registered, so I don't think people will interpret as a veiled request for gifts.

To OP it really depends on the culture - at my last duty station I hung out with a significantly younger crowd and they used facebook event invites for EVERYTHING (even weddings).  It irritated me at first, but eventually I saw how much easier it was to plan things.  Now that I'm back to dealing with folks who some don't even text, I miss the ease of online planning.

This doesn't make it any less tacky, IMO. 

novella1186

OnionBreath said:

I facebook messaged her and asked if my fiane was invited and she said 'Of course, the more the merrier!".  I asked if there was a meal, or if we should eat before. She said there will be "some" food, and 'light" alcohol.

So I'm guessing appetizers and spiked punch maybe.

I found out from one of her bridesmaids that there WERE paper invites sent to people who don't have facebook and a few others to save money.  I don't think I was blisted I just think think this is bizarre. How willthey plan food?

My mom asked me if I would get this person a gift if I wasn't attneding the wendding. I said no.

She said that I shouldn't go then. I don't really get that logic or what gift giving has to do with it.

 I think we might just go and leave if we get hungry or if it's no fun. I wonder how many people are thinking about it like I am that were invited.

Oh man. This just gets worse and worse lol. "Some food" makes me nervous... if it's heavy appetizers then that could be great. But if it's like cheese and crackers, during a meal time, people are gonna get hungry and it's not gonna be fun. The light alcohol thing is fine. 

But yeah, if she's just saying "the more the merrier" then that "some food" might run out fast too. I would proceed with caution if I were you :S 

ShesSoCold

txbandwife said:

Wow, it's interesting to read the responses above. 

I've sent paper invites to close family and friends that are likely to come to our destination wedding. 

Being military, I have friends all over the world who would wish me well, today I am putting together a social media invite/announcement just to let people know and give them the option to come if desired. Since we're doing a destination wedding at Christmastime, it's likely to be a small crowd (though the reception can easily be expanded if needed).  We're not registered, so I don't think people will interpret as a veiled request for gifts.

To OP it really depends on the culture - at my last duty station I hung out with a significantly younger crowd and they used facebook event invites for EVERYTHING (even weddings).  It irritated me at first, but eventually I saw how much easier it was to plan things.  Now that I'm back to dealing with folks who some don't even text, I miss the ease of online planning.

How many people is this? Are you able to host if they all come?

AddieCake

I agree it's tacky b/c I believe one's wedding deserves a higher level of formality than a FB a invitation, no matter how casual, but I would never not attend JUST because of something like that.

mrs4everhart

Maybe the B&G are planning to use the funds they would have spent on printing and postage on properly hosting people?

Many people are moving away from paper invites as a bid to be environmentally conscious. 

I wouldn't not go just because I was invited via FB. I think I would look at it on a case by case basis. 

The inability to list "and guest" or "and so-and-so" to FB invites in particular bugs me. But that's a FB issue, not an etiquette issue. 

mikenberger

Its especially tacky since the B&G sent paper invites to certain people and FB invites to the rest. Its close enough to b-listing someone.

lc07

I don't think a FB invite is tacky per se. But I do think it's very casual.

What is tacky is hosting a 6 pm wedding with only "light food". I, too, would have inquired since champagne being noted on the FB invite but not food would make me question what was being hosted. If this was a family member or one of my best friends I would eat prior to the wedding and attend. If it was anyone other than an absolute VIP in my life I would decline.

larrygaga

I would just ask for a bit more information and decide from there. It's pretty silly to decline just on that invite. Maybe it'll be a really good wedding!


Edit: based on the updated Info i personally would not go

dcbride86

I kind of want you to go, just so you can report back.  That might be horribly mean of me, and I'm sorry.  But I genuinely want to know what a wedding with FB-only invites looks like in real life.

traditionallyuntraditional

mrs4everhart said:

Maybe the B&G are planning to use the funds they would have spent on printing and postage on properly hosting people?

Many people are moving away from paper invites as a bid to be environmentally conscious. 

I wouldn't not go just because I was invited via FB. I think I would look at it on a case by case basis. 

The inability to list "and guest" or "and so-and-so" to FB invites in particular bugs me. But that's a FB issue, not an etiquette issue. 

Ok maybe I'm behind on the times but this is the first I've heard many people are moving to paperless invites for weddings? Am I under a rock is this a new thing? From the previous responses it still seems to be viewed as tacky but I've only ever heard of this happening never actually seen it.

dcbride86

traditionallyuntraditional said:

mrs4everhart said:

Maybe the B&G are planning to use the funds they would have spent on printing and postage on properly hosting people?

Many people are moving away from paper invites as a bid to be environmentally conscious. 

I wouldn't not go just because I was invited via FB. I think I would look at it on a case by case basis. 

The inability to list "and guest" or "and so-and-so" to FB invites in particular bugs me. But that's a FB issue, not an etiquette issue. 

Ok maybe I'm behind on the times but this is the first I've heard many people are moving to paperless invites for weddings? Am I under a rock is this a new thing? From the previous responses it still seems to be viewed as tacky but I've only ever heard of this happening never actually seen it.

I've never heard of this, either.  I think one of my friends mentioned getting an email STD, but that's it.

I understand being paperless, but I think some things should be done with paper, because it shows more of a personal touch and it seems more formal.  Wedding invitations and thank you cards should, in my opinion, always be on paper and sent in the normal mail.

Maggie0829

traditionallyuntraditional said:

mrs4everhart said:

Maybe the B&G are planning to use the funds they would have spent on printing and postage on properly hosting people?

Many people are moving away from paper invites as a bid to be environmentally conscious. 

I wouldn't not go just because I was invited via FB. I think I would look at it on a case by case basis. 

The inability to list "and guest" or "and so-and-so" to FB invites in particular bugs me. But that's a FB issue, not an etiquette issue. 

Ok maybe I'm behind on the times but this is the first I've heard many people are moving to paperless invites for weddings? Am I under a rock is this a new thing? From the previous responses it still seems to be viewed as tacky but I've only ever heard of this happening never actually seen it.

I would say that more people are using online RSVPs instead of the cards but I wouldn't say that more people are moving away from paper invites for their wedding.

mrs4everhart

traditionallyuntraditional said: mrs4everhart said: Maybe the B&G are planning to use the funds they would have spent on printing and postage on properly hosting people?
Many people are moving away from paper invites as a bid to be environmentally conscious. 
I wouldn't not go just because I was invited via FB. I think I would look at it on a case by case basis. 
The inability to list "and guest" or "and so-and-so" to FB invites in particular bugs me. But that's a FB issue, not an etiquette issue.  Ok maybe I'm behind on the times but this is the first I've heard many people are moving to paperless invites for weddings? Am I under a rock is this a new thing? From the previous responses it still seems to be viewed as tacky but I've only ever heard of this happening never actually seen it.
***********************ETA - we're box free on TK today I see ********************************
I live in Colorado. I'd hate to generalize but we're kind of a bunch of pot-smoking hippies. I say this with a touch of sarcasm of course, but really, in my day-to-day life I do see a change in what has always been let's say, traditional, for the sake of being environmentally conscious. 

Saying one feels that paper invites are "proper" is just that, a feeling, an opinion. An invitation is nothing more than the act of asking another person to join you at a certain place, time, date for XYZ purpose. It's no more or no less an invitation if this information/request is conveyed digitally or on paper. And yes, it's certainly less expensive.

And, as a guest, once this information is conveyed, what do you do with the paper invitation? Unless it's your kid or your own invitation, you leave it on your counter for a while or maybe your coffee table, then when you're tired of moving it around or using it as a coaster, you add it to a landfill. 

I'll be honest - I gave in to the wedding industrial complex where invites were concerned. We wasted several hundred dollars on a pretty invitation suite and postage. And I know everyone except our Moms and DH's Grandma have long since tossed them in the trash. Total waste of money and just generated more trash.

I truly believe coming generations, with their tendency to think more about the environment than past generations, will likely move away from a tradition that in all reality really is wasteful and unnecessary, even more so than people currently are.

Companies like E-vite, et al, are growing rapidly for good reason.

novella1186

scribe95 said:

The more this thread goes on the more elitist it sounds. I'm sure a wedding with FB-only invites can be absolutely lovely. I'm also positive - since I have been to a ton - that weddings with nice stationary invites can suck and be poorly hosted.

This is totally true. Except the OP updated that although this wedding takes place during a meal time, only "light appetizers" will be served. So yes, even with a FB invite it could still be a great wedding. But without food, at 6pm? Not so much.