Military Cheating

doeydo

Do you guys know the rules that military have about this sort of thing?  I ask because someone on another forum I post on said he cheated on his wife and he didn't know whether or not to tell her because he didn't want to lose his son.  I responded with some meant to be rhetorical questions like how would he lose his son if he and his wife were to split up.  Then, he responded saying he is in the military and if they found out he committed adultery he would be put in the brig (which he says is like military prison) and that the Marine Corps wouldn't let him keep his son.  

AprilH81

I'm not military, but I'm not sure the military can control who gets custody.  I know the soldier can be punished for cheating...

Snarky me would be like "Well, you should have thought about that before you cheated on your wife." 

I don't get people who think actions do not have consequences.

Fran1985

Well, that's only half true. Adultery isn't a crime USMJ but you can technically be prosecuted for unbecoming conduct if your adultery brings discredit or disruption on your branch. In reality, almost no one gets prosecuted for this, he most certainty will not be "thrown in the brig" and the marine corps can't take his son... Honestly its kind of absurd to even think for a second that your job could legally steal your child. 

theartistformerlyknownas

Sounds like he's sleeping with a subordinate, which could definitely get him prosecuted. They don't control who gets his kid though, unless it's just "you can't get custody in jail."

Fran1985

lolo883 said:

Sounds like he's sleeping with a subordinate, which could definitely get him prosecuted. They don't control who gets his kid though, unless it's just "you can't get custody in jail."

Right- this would be the bringing discredit on the branch part- you can get prosecuted for this. I never saw a case end with actual jail time though- and its almost never prosecuted on its own. Usually it would be something like misuse of government resources and time and they might take that on. 

novella1186

Call MUD on him 

doeydo

Hmm, OK thanks ladies!

kmmssg

From army.mil: there has to be intercourse, either the service member or other person is married to someone else, AND The conduct had to prejudicial to the service. I have seen VERY senior officers get caught and not lose squat. They end up reassigned in some office where they are not leading troops. Ticks me off.

levioosa

I was reading about this on another forum the other day too.  Apparently you can get a less than honorable discharge?  It kind of depends on a lot of (political) factors with what they choose to do.  

emmaaa

I would've posted this on the "Military Brides" board because they would have more information.

flutteringinfl

My FBIL in the Marines basically kidnapped his daughter (who was in the custody of my FMIL and FFIL) and lied to his superiors that he had custody in order to get private housing and (we believe) avoid deployment. I had people tell me he'd almost certainly get discharged for misusing funds and lying to his superiors, and definitely get at least a slap on the wrist. My ex-Army FI was much more cynical and said the most that would happen was that he would get asked to do a few extra pushups.

Pretty much not even that happened. As far as I know, his superiors believed his story and reluctantly agreed to let FMIL take the baby back in order to avoid a dispute. They only planned to punish him if FMIL and FFIL asked for a court martial, which they didn't. So knowing how the military sided with FBIL, I can't imagine a cheating spouse would have much to worry about from his superiors.

CMGragain

The real problem - many military personal have high security clearances.  Cheating on your wife would mean losing that clearance, and losing that position.  Anything that could be used to blackmail you is reason to lose your security clearance, whether adultery, drug use, alcoholism, making friends with foreign nationals and not reporting it.  I know.  We lived that life for 32 years.  DH never had his security status questioned.