Dress regret? Need advice from the OMHs out there!

BrandNewJ

Ok, let me start by saying I LOVE my dress. It's dramatic, fun, and textured. It makes me smile. When I tried it on however, I wasn't fully able to get it on as I'm a few sizes bigger than the samples. So I had it clipped to my front. 

This is my dress: http://www.essensedesigns.com/martina-liana/dresses/detail/579

I went shopping with my mom, aunt, cousin, and BFF. The adults thought the dress wasn't "timeless and elegant" while the rest of us "kids" (in quotes because were all in our late 20s) loved the pink color and how fun it was. 

The word timeless keeps drifting in from the back of my mind along with the fact that I'm overweight. I'm scared that when the dress comes in it's not going to hide my pooch as well as I'd like. I'm scared that in 30 years I'll look back and think "WTF??? why did my mom let me pay money for this ridiculous dress?!" But then I also think of other family members and their dresses. My grandmothers and mom wore white dresses that would be considered timeless in their decade, but I can most definitely tell that grandma was married in the 1940s and mom in the 1980s with those crazy sleeves and headbands that go on the forehead. So who cares if my dress isn't "timeless"? 

So question to all the OMHs out there: did everyone with you like your dress when you bought it? did you have dress regret? Did it change when you wore your dress on your wedding day? 

Sugargirl1019

I'm not sure I can be of help, because I LOVED my dress and so did my family when I bought it. Idk what my MIL thought, because when she came to a fitting, she talked to other people and played on her phone the whole time. I didn't care, I LOVED my dress. But I didn't have any "unusual" pieces about it. Except my veil. Some people gave me raised eyebrows about the length of my veil, but I have ZERO regrets!

As long as YOU love it, it will be special no matter what the year is!

BrandNewJ

Sugargirl1019 said:

I'm not sure I can be of help, because I LOVED my dress and so did my family when I bought it. Idk what my MIL thought, because when she came to a fitting, she talked to other people and played on her phone the whole time. I didn't care, I LOVED my dress. But I didn't have any "unusual" pieces about it. Except my veil. Some people gave me raised eyebrows about the length of my veil, but I have ZERO regrets! As long as YOU love it, it will be special no matter what the year is!

My veil is the same length! I'm going to remove the train from the dress though so it can have a spotlight. I do love my dress, a lot, I just wish I had validation for it. I know this isn't always the right place to get validation lol but I am struggling with my inner monologue that sounds like my mom. ETA: I know it's ridiculous because I'm my own adult, but something about this dress makes me really want the approval.

climbingsingle

I had terrible dress regret. I started second guessing everything. I even changed the belt I had added on. But on the day of the wedding, I loved my dress and was so happy with it. 

While I was in the throes of my dress regret, my MOH said this to me: You chose that dress for a reason. Remember the way you felt in it that day? Remember - that's why you picked it. 

And it was the best possible thing anyone could have said to me. 

Sugargirl1019

Is your dress really pink? The website only shows it in an ivory or oyster/gold color. It is a showstopper and a standout dress. You have to be confident in the body beading as well as that fabulous feathery bottom. There really are no "standard" looking wedding dresses now a days. We might look at our skimpy low cut tight dresses and say oh this is the 2000s but color isn't one of those standards anymore. Own your dress and be proud of it it will look like a STUNNING dress in 50 years!

novella1186

I haven't gotten married yet so I can't speak from personal experience about my wedding day. But I can say that a friend of the family had horrible dress regret to the point that she sat down on the floor and cried during one of her fittings. She hated her dress, but by then it was too late to buy a new one. She put it on on her wedding day and said she remembered why she had picked it in the first place, and felt beautiful and amazing. And she LOOKED absolutely stunning in it. 

ClimbingBrideNY, you have to remember that you picked it for a reason. 

BrandNewJ

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I had terrible dress regret. I started second guessing everything. I even changed the belt I had added on. But on the day of the wedding, I loved my dress and was so happy with it. 

While I was in the throes of my dress regret, my MOH said this to me: You chose that dress for a reason. Remember the way you felt in it that day? Remember - that's why you picked it. 

And it was the best possible thing anyone could have said to me. 

That needs to become my mantra.

slothiegal

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I had terrible dress regret. I started second guessing everything. I even changed the belt I had added on. But on the day of the wedding, I loved my dress and was so happy with it. 

While I was in the throes of my dress regret, my MOH said this to me: You chose that dress for a reason. Remember the way you felt in it that day? Remember - that's why you picked it. 

And it was the best possible thing anyone could have said to me. 

So much this.  

I looked at pics every day after I bought the dress and cried every time.  I called my mother one day, 2,000 miles away, wailing that I had made a huge mistake.  She told me the exact advice above.

The best thing I did was STOP LOOKING.  Stop looking at pictures, stop watching SYTTD, stoooop it.  You fell in love with that dress for a reason (shit, I fell in love with it just looking at the link, beautiful!).  

Not to mention, come wedding day, it is yet another seemingly HUGE life or death detail that you just don't care about the day of.  I felt beautiful because I was so happy; yeah, the dress and the makeup and the hair helped, but I was glowing and it had nothing to do with any of that. 

WinstonsGirl

None for me.  Maybe that it was more gold in colour, but that was super hard to find.  Umm, I wish I had worn my hair half up half down, but that's it.   I loved my dress and so did everyone else.  

Oh, I had 12 french bustles in the back, cos it swept to the side.  The seamstress said she'd number the buttons and hooks so we knew which went with which.  Well, either she forgot or when it was steamed upon arrival it wore off, cos they weren't there.  My Mom and Aunt spent almost 20 min trying to find all of the stupid buttons and hooks in order to make my bustle work properly.  I wish I had checked before leaving the store to ensure they were there.  

ETA - To answer your questions, I never loved my dress when trying it on.  I didn't love it until after my first fitting, though I liked it while trying it on.  I think I tried it on 4 times before i bought it.  I actually hate the photos of the model wearing it in white.  I really think that if the sample was white, I wouldn't have bought it.  

BrandNewJ

@novella1186‌ that story made me smile.

Sugargirl1019 said:

Is your dress really pink? The website only shows it in an ivory or oyster/gold color. It is a showstopper and a standout dress. You have to be confident in the body beading as well as that fabulous feathery bottom. There really are no "standard" looking wedding dresses now a days. We might look at our skimpy low cut tight dresses and say oh this is the 2000s but color isn't one of those standards anymore. Own your dress and be proud of it it will look like a STUNNING dress in 50 years!

It's champaign color, but the skirt reflects in a blush color against the beading used in the bodice. I'm most nervous about the bodice will fit, but as long as it doesn't look like I'm pregnant, I should feel good in it. The show stopping aspect is what's a bit difficult for me to come to terms with. That's not my personality, but the second I touched this dress, I couldn't stop smiling. The adults all hated the dramatic skirt, but I loved it! Time to own my choices.

BrandNewJ

@slothiegal‌ and everyone, wow you're making me feel better about the choice, thanks! I do love it. I need to stop looking at pictures of me in the dresses that made it to the final cut. That's not helping. And you're so right, come the day, the only important part is that I get to marry my FI, it's not the dress could ruin that in any way.

esstee33

I can't help with any of your actual questions, but that dress is FUCKING AWESOME. 

"Timeless" is never really timeless. I think someone else in the thread mentioned it, but dresses follow trends that you can pinpoint at least to a decade, usually. The important part is how you feel in it, and if you felt awesome and fell in love with that dress, roll with that. Stop looking at other dresses and tormenting yourself with second-guessing your decision. 

Vivandiere8

I think it's very hard to be timeless with a wedding dress. Any of us looking at our mother's or grandmothers wedding pictures can tell when it's from, and the same will be for our daughters. Really your dress follows the rules as far as not being so crazy out there as to make you cringe in an unhappy way twenty years from now. For example in the 90s I remember seeing a wedding "dress" in a catalog that was a fancy white top attached to jean pants... it was suppose to symbolize the couple was willing to work for their wedding. That's a pretty out there example, but if the other people had those kind of concerns I can see where you might want to question how you will feel years from now. But your dress is lovely, and although pink it's such a light, soft pink that doesn't really make you do a double take to make sure it's really a wedding dress. It's clearly a wedding dress, and right now it would be considered a beautiful wedding dress by most.

As for wether it will fit your body the way you want it to there are always body shaping undergarments you can wear underneath.

Also @Sugargirl1019 Your dress looks so beautiful on you and your pictures are adorable!

cupcait927

First off, that dress is friggin gorgeous!!!! Love love love.

I'm going to be the unpop post but I hate my dress now that I've gotten to see my pro pics. I should've kept looking and not bought one of the first dresses I liked. I had dress regret and posted about it here actually and should've listened to my gut. I had a dress that I tried on and loved, but didn't buy because it was slightly over budget. I wish I had just bought it anyway and not worried as much about the cost.

Everyone loved it the day of the wedding and said how beautiful I looked but I really wish I had gotten something else. However - you have said all of these things that you love about your dress and you seem so excited about it. That right there should take away any doubt that you have And I agree wholeheartedly with PPs that you just need to stop looking. And if you really want to feel good about your choice, you could always post a pic of you in it here and we'll all tell you how beautiful you look in it (because how could you not in that dress?!)

sarawifenow

I only took my mom dress shopping with me, so, yes everyone loved it.

 

I never had dress regret. I knew this was the dress I loved and I stopped looking at other dresses. How did the dress fit when they clipped it?

climbingsingle

Definitely stop looking at other dresses. And try not to watch any wedding shows. 

holyguacamole79

I bet some of the monstrosities women wore in the 80s were described by someone as "timeless". And, oddly enough, I only had one friend with me when I bought my dress. So, I didn't have the magical experience you're "supposed" to have. I loved my dress and would choose it again in a heartbeat. I posted mine on the bridal portraits thread.

Blergbot

First off, that dress is gorgeous!

I had dress regret with my first dress, because I bought it online and it didn't quite fit me. Also, I didn't love it as much in person as I did in the pictures. But my real dress I had no second thoughts about and knew right away. I think once your dress comes in and you have your first fitting you'll know for sure, but to put you at ease a bit, the sample I tried on was also a few sizes too small. It was still THE dress.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

Don't worry about 'timelessness' We always want to be trapped in time.  I know when my kids are looking at my album they will sigh and say "Why on earth is it sleeveless?  It looks so OLD!" because things are always changing.  Just be true to yourself and what you like, and how you feel in that dress, standing in portraits with your husband.  

FWIW I totally love the dress.  I love the pattern on the front and the feathered skirt.  It looks so fun!

kat1114

slothiegal said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I had terrible dress regret. I started second guessing everything. I even changed the belt I had added on. But on the day of the wedding, I loved my dress and was so happy with it. 

While I was in the throes of my dress regret, my MOH said this to me: You chose that dress for a reason. Remember the way you felt in it that day? Remember - that's why you picked it. 

And it was the best possible thing anyone could have said to me. 

So much this.  

I looked at pics every day after I bought the dress and cried every time.  I called my mother one day, 2,000 miles away, wailing that I had made a huge mistake.  She told me the exact advice above.

The best thing I did was STOP LOOKING.  Stop looking at pictures, stop watching SYTTD, stoooop it.  You fell in love with that dress for a reason (shit, I fell in love with it just looking at the link, beautiful!).  

Not to mention, come wedding day, it is yet another seemingly HUGE life or death detail that you just don't care about the day of.  I felt beautiful because I was so happy; yeah, the dress and the makeup and the hair helped, but I was glowing and it had nothing to do with any of that. 

Yes to the bold! I had zero dress regret. As soon as I bought my dress, I deleted my dress inspiration Pinterest board and did not look at another single dress. I think that helped a lot with my lack of regret. Plus, the model for my dress looks amazing, so I looked at this link a lot: http://www.maggiesottero.com/dress.aspx?style=13533.

Your dress is gorgeous OP! I would look at your link a lot and just remember why you fell in love with it in the first place.

BrandNewJ

cupcait927 said:

First off, that dress is friggin gorgeous!!!! Love love love.

I'm going to be the unpop post but I hate my dress now that I've gotten to see my pro pics. I should've kept looking and not bought one of the first dresses I liked. I had dress regret and posted about it here actually and should've listened to my gut. I had a dress that I tried on and loved, but didn't buy because it was slightly over budget. I wish I had just bought it anyway and not worried as much about the cost.

Everyone loved it the day of the wedding and said how beautiful I looked but I really wish I had gotten something else. However - you have said all of these things that you love about your dress and you seem so excited about it. That right there should take away any doubt that you have And I agree wholeheartedly with PPs that you just need to stop looking. And if you really want to feel good about your choice, you could always post a pic of you in it here and we'll all tell you how beautiful you look in it (because how could you not in that dress?!)

I'm sorry y didn't like your dress, I'm sure it did look fantastic! 

sarawifenow said:

I only took my mom dress shopping with me, so, yes everyone loved it.

 

I never had dress regret. I knew this was the dress I loved and I stopped looking at other dresses. How did the dress fit when they clipped it?

The dress was pretty good with my shape, I'm an hourglass. I'd post a picture, but since it wasn't on my body, it slipped down a lot so I had to hold it in place. I will definitely post one after my first fitting though. 

You are all so wonderful, thank y for helping me feel better about my dress. I really needed it! 

BrandNewJ

kat1114 said:

slothiegal said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I had terrible dress regret. I started second guessing everything. I even changed the belt I had added on. But on the day of the wedding, I loved my dress and was so happy with it. 

While I was in the throes of my dress regret, my MOH said this to me: You chose that dress for a reason. Remember the way you felt in it that day? Remember - that's why you picked it. 

And it was the best possible thing anyone could have said to me. 

So much this.  

I looked at pics every day after I bought the dress and cried every time.  I called my mother one day, 2,000 miles away, wailing that I had made a huge mistake.  She told me the exact advice above.

The best thing I did was STOP LOOKING.  Stop looking at pictures, stop watching SYTTD, stoooop it.  You fell in love with that dress for a reason (shit, I fell in love with it just looking at the link, beautiful!).  

Not to mention, come wedding day, it is yet another seemingly HUGE life or death detail that you just don't care about the day of.  I felt beautiful because I was so happy; yeah, the dress and the makeup and the hair helped, but I was glowing and it had nothing to do with any of that. 

Yes to the bold! I had zero dress regret. As soon as I bought my dress, I deleted my dress inspiration Pinterest board and did not look at another single dress. I think that helped a lot with my lack of regret. Plus, the model for my dress looks amazing, so I looked at this link a lot: http://www.maggiesottero.com/dress.aspx?style=13533.

Your dress is gorgeous OP! I would look at your link a lot and just remember why you fell in love with it in the first place.

Genius! Buh-bye pintrest board, hello gorgeous link!

DanikaMarie0227

esstee33 said:

I can't help with any of your actual questions, but that dress is FUCKING AWESOME. 

"Timeless" is never really timeless. I think someone else in the thread mentioned it, but dresses follow trends that you can pinpoint at least to a decade, usually. The important part is how you feel in it, and if you felt awesome and fell in love with that dress, roll with that. Stop looking at other dresses and tormenting yourself with second-guessing your decision. 

This. So much this. I LOVE your dress. 

weddingcactus

While I was at the bridal salon and finally ordering my dress, the sales lady said something that I think was actually very helpful. "Remember that your actual wedding dress will *always* look better than this sample does today because it will be the right size and in pristine/new condition." I too have this worry about looking fat/pregnant in my dress because it's quite fitted all the way through the hips. But I can tell you that dresses that were too small definitely caused my tummy to appear much larger than it really is because it was pulled so tight at the hips on me. I noticed this especially in cell phone pictures of the dresses. Even though it's tough to make myself stop worrying, I do know that when my dress arrives in the correct size, it shouldn't be a problem at all.  Hopefully you can take that to heart as well. 

Finally, I think your dress silhouette looks very figure flattering. It looks like it's going to skim your waist and hips and playfully flare out at the bottom. It's a gorgeous dress and I think you're going to look amazing. 

CMGragain

Poor OP!  You have the jitters.

Most people expect this of their wedding dress:  it is appropriate for the venue, appropriate for the occasion, fits you, and looks pretty.  That is all.  It doesn't need to be the perfect dress.  It won't transform you into something that you are not (super slender).  It won't make your dreams come true like Cinderella. 

If you liked it in the store, you will love it at your wedding.  Try to relax.  Have a margarita.

BrandNewJ

@CMGragain‌ I definitely have the jitters! I would never expect the dress to make me something I'm not, that's impossible, but I do hope it makes me feel special. I plan on taking all advice and stop looking at pictures both online and myself in them. Time to let it go until the fitting! Thank you for your advice

shanliann

First, let me say that dress is AMAZING!! I think it will look fantastic on any size.

Second, let me tell you that I had horrible dress issues. I could probably write you a novel on all the drama I went through. In the end, I didn't care anymore I just wanted "a dress" so I could cross it off my to do list and I know I had a dress. I hated my wedding dress.

My suggestion is this. Go try more dresses on! Even if you go alone! If you don't find anything that compares to the original dress then you know that dress is meant to be. If you find one, or a couple, that you think might suit you better, take someone back to look at those dresses with you. Do not make any rash decisions and do not give up until you have a dress that you don't want to take off!!

Also, try your dress on with accessories, necklace, earrings etc, it may change your opinion. Also, as silly as this sounds, when you get your dress, put it on and just walk and dance around your living by yourself for 10 -15 minutes. It could make your decision for you.

msuprincess04

The dress is beautiful, and very 'old Hollywood', which, by definition, is timeless.

mrs4everhart

Trust your gut. If you loved it when you tried it on, that's all you need to know!

I chose my dress online. I knew I'd be able to pull it off. I only brought my Mom with me to try it on IRL and she DID NOT like it. I said I'd stay open minded and try on more but that dress was the one that all subsequent dresses were compared to. 

In the end, I realized it wasn't my Mom who had to wear it. I did, and I LOVED IT! She ended up telling me at the reception she was wrong and that when she saw me in it, it was perfect and very "me."

Sometimes when you know, you know.

Once your gown is altered to flatter you you're going to be thrilled.

badbnagdway

That dress is super pretty, OP. It doesn't look super pink in the pictures and I think it won't look super pink in your pictures either. In person my dress has a slight pink-gold color but when i take photos of it it looks pretty much ivory. 

I think others are right that no dress is completely timeless. Although I will say that if you look the mermaid never really goes away. That dress is a bit 20's to me, and that's very in right now, but obviously it's been in before and will be in again. 

The important thing is how you feel about it. Don't go by what others think. 

On the pooch, we all have a bit of a pooch. My finding with mermaids was that when they fit properly they probably will be the most flattering style for those of us with some curves.

peachy13

I had a little dress regret right after I got mine. I started doing very bad things: 1) looking at pictures of me in the dress at the shop and focusing on problem areas like my "pooch," and 2) looking at pictures of other dresses, wishing I had gone with something different.

Stop doing both of these things.

I picked up my dress from the shop a few weeks ago and went to my mom's house to try it back on. I fell in love with it all over again. I can't wait to get it tailored so that it fits me perfectly.