Another point money doesn't buy class.

PrettyGirlLost

pinkrevenge said:

I admit I still am really for unplugged weddings and greatly prefer them. But why so many signs, why?????

Cell phones aren't plugged in though!!!! It's such a stupid fucking phrase, aaaaah!!!!

Nymeru

Out of curiosity, why is everyone ok with the officiant asking guests to not use their phones during the ceremony, but seriously offended by a sign which does the same thing? 

BrandNewJ

Nymeru said:

Out of curiosity, why is everyone ok with the officiant asking guests to not use their phones during the ceremony, but seriously offended by a sign which does the same thing? 

The officiant is able to do that because it's usually his/her church/temple. The officiant is usually a leader and figurehead who has more authority than the couple. A sign is rude while the officiant is not because a sign is the couple telling people what to do which is not okay.

sophhabobopha

This shit makes me gag.

theartistformerlyknownas

BrandNewJ said:

Nymeru said:

Out of curiosity, why is everyone ok with the officiant asking guests to not use their phones during the ceremony, but seriously offended by a sign which does the same thing? 

The officiant is able to do that because it's usually his/her church/temple. The officiant is usually a leader and figurehead who has more authority than the couple. A sign is rude while the officiant is not because a sign is the couple telling people what to do which is not okay.

Plus, the officiant has a lot more credibility and authority to essentially say "please silence your phones so the couple can hear what I'm having them vow to each other" versus the couple posting a sign saying "don't even turn your phones on because I want you fully present in the experience of me gazing schmoopily into my darling's eyes." The officiant isn't asking anyone not to take pictures because people should "capture it with their hearts." They're preserving their own ability to perform the function they've been hired to do.

biggrouch

Weirdly, a reasonably large proportion of people here say they are fine with phones and cameras being used during their ceremonies. It's ... almost like guests have no way of knowing which couples prefer phones and cameras not to be used during the ceremony unless the couples themselves say something.

wrigleyville

biggrouch said:

Weirdly, a reasonably large proportion of people here say they are fine with phones and cameras being used during their ceremonies. It's ... almost like guests have no way of knowing which couples prefer phones and cameras not to be used during the ceremony unless the couples themselves say something.

It's still better to ask your officiant to make the announcement, for the reasons Lolo stated above.

theartistformerlyknownas

biggrouch said:

Weirdly, a reasonably large proportion of people here say they are fine with phones and cameras being used during their ceremonies. It's ... almost like guests have no way of knowing which couples prefer phones and cameras not to be used during the ceremony unless the couples themselves say something.

It's almost as if phones and cameras during a wedding ceremony is not a reasonable thing to worry about. Yes, they should be silenced. No, it's not necessary to ban them.

lyndausvi

biggrouch said:

Weirdly, a reasonably large proportion of people here say they are fine with phones and cameras being used during their ceremonies. It's ... almost like guests have no way of knowing which couples prefer phones and cameras not to be used during the ceremony unless the couples themselves say something.

It drives me bonkers to see everyone on their phones in ANY social situation.   The people on the other end of the text or social media are more important then those in front of them.  That shit pisses me off.   Cellphones and texting were not around when I was a kid so I just do not understand the need to have the phone out at all times.

That said, cameras were around when I was growing up.  People took pictures of ceremonies or at parties back in the old days.  That does not bother me.

Now that phones and cameras are the same I do not mind if the camera part is being used during a ceremony.  It's just like a camera back in the good ole days.   Keeping the ringer on, answering a call, texting or posting on social media is just tacky.

Sadly some people are too stupid to know better.

caitieharrison94

This is actually a huge trend right now in weddings. I think it's fine to ask that your friends and family be fully present with you during your time together. If you went out for a coffee date, you wouldn't be texting the whole time. You're there to honor the couple, not check Facebook.

mikenberger

caitieharrison94 said:

This is actually a huge trend right now in weddings. I think it's fine to ask that your friends and family be fully present with you during your time together. If you went out for a coffee date, you wouldn't be texting the whole time. You're there to honor the couple, not check Facebook.

No. You do not dictate what your guests do, wear, say or think. If you think someone is on their phone too much and will miss your nupitals because their face is in their phone, dont invite them. But you don't tell adults how to behave. Its no better tactic than "I'm having a cash bar so people don't get too drunk." Seriously. People are going to do exactly what they want to do. Especially when these people in question are adults.

theartistformerlyknownas

caitieharrison94 said:

This is actually a huge trend right now in weddings. I think it's fine to ask that your friends and family be fully present with you during your time together. If you went out for a coffee date, you wouldn't be texting the whole time. You're there to honor the couple, not check Facebook.

Did you read ANYTHING AT ALL?!

mikenberger

lolo883 said:

caitieharrison94 said:

This is actually a huge trend right now in weddings. I think it's fine to ask that your friends and family be fully present with you during your time together. If you went out for a coffee date, you wouldn't be texting the whole time. You're there to honor the couple, not check Facebook.

Did you read ANYTHING AT ALL?!

Oh Lolo, she's made it very clear in other threads that she's a special snowflake who wants her bridesmaids to all look the same because having a wedding is like a photoshoot. The word "micromanaging" has been used.

MadHops21

dolewhipper omg I freaking love your signature. That made me laugh. 

dolewhipper

caitieharrison94 said:

This is actually a huge trend right now in weddings. I think it's fine to ask that your friends and family be fully present with you during your time together. If you went out for a coffee date, you wouldn't be texting the whole time. You're there to honor the couple, not check Facebook.

Next time we go get coffee I want to make sure I keep the keys to your car as well as your phone is OFF even if your kids are with a babysitter and your kid is sick. Also, I don't want any documentation of our meeting, as it's super important for no one else to know our whereabouts. You can't take a photo of us before we start our conversation and you can't take a photo of that cute painting you saw outside the coffee shop before you came in.

I must control our entire meeting. 

flutteringinfl

caitieharrison94 said:

This is actually a huge trend right now in weddings. I think it's fine to ask that your friends and family be fully present with you during your time together. If you went out for a coffee date, you wouldn't be texting the whole time. You're there to honor the couple, not check Facebook.

Saying something this obnoxious is a trend is basically the equivalent of saying, "Everyone else is jumping off the cliff, so we should too!"

thisismynickname2

At this point I'm three weeks past contract time on my professional photos, the photog isn't returning e-mails and phone calls, and I'd give anything for more photos of my ceremony. There are just a few from one person and thanks to the lighting of the venue, they all suck.

Let people take photos. Seriously. 

flutteringinfl

I just got told by a coworker that at her brother's wedding, the photographer straight up told her to stop taking pictures with her cell phone. I get that photographers get annoyed when someone steps into their shot with an iPad or a phone or what have you, but for the photographer to not allow anyone but himself to take pictures??

ETA: My mother also recently told me about two of her "good" ideas (seriously, most of her ideas are actually great, but I put my foot down here). First, we should have a sign that says, "Pick a seat, not a side," so people don't get confused. Second, I can honor people by having them pass out programs.

Thankfully it didn't take much to get her to realize these were not happening, but man. The internet is poisoning people's minds.

badbnagdway

flutteringinftmyers said:

I just got told by a coworker that at her brother's wedding, the photographer straight up told her to stop taking pictures with her cell phone. I get that photographers get annoyed when someone steps into their shot with an iPad or a phone or what have you, but for the photographer to not allow anyone but himself to take pictures??

ETA: My mother also recently told me about two of her "good" ideas (seriously, most of her ideas are actually great, but I put my foot down here). First, we should have a sign that says, "Pick a seat, not a side," so people don't get confused. Second, I can honor people by having them pass out programs.

Thankfully it didn't take much to get her to realize these were not happening, but man. The internet is poisoning people's minds.

My sister reported to me that at her SIL's wedding the photographer freaked the fuck out when he saw anyone taking cell phone pictures. I'm not talking like, guests taking photos in the aisle during the ceremony, I'm talking, hey, that cake is so cute I want a picture and the photographer flipped out. 

I'm not clear on why "pick a seat, not a side" is a no no but would love to understand why. 

climbingsingle

caitieharrison94 said:

This is actually a huge trend right now in weddings. I think it's fine to ask that your friends and family be fully present with you during your time together. If you went out for a coffee date, you wouldn't be texting the whole time. You're there to honor the couple, not check Facebook.

Oh really? Wow! Us ladies at TK actually hadn't heard that! Thank you for informing us! 

Just because something is a trend doesn't make it acceptable/not tacky/not rude.

flutteringinfl

badbnagdway said:

flutteringinftmyers said:

I just got told by a coworker that at her brother's wedding, the photographer straight up told her to stop taking pictures with her cell phone. I get that photographers get annoyed when someone steps into their shot with an iPad or a phone or what have you, but for the photographer to not allow anyone but himself to take pictures??

ETA: My mother also recently told me about two of her "good" ideas (seriously, most of her ideas are actually great, but I put my foot down here). First, we should have a sign that says, "Pick a seat, not a side," so people don't get confused. Second, I can honor people by having them pass out programs.

Thankfully it didn't take much to get her to realize these were not happening, but man. The internet is poisoning people's minds.

My sister reported to me that at her SIL's wedding the photographer freaked the fuck out when he saw anyone taking cell phone pictures. I'm not talking like, guests taking photos in the aisle during the ceremony, I'm talking, hey, that cake is so cute I want a picture and the photographer flipped out. 

I'm not clear on why "pick a seat, not a side" is a no no but would love to understand why. 

The idea is that you don't want to tell guests to do anything they could figure out by themselves. My argument would be people are adults and can sit wherever they please (with the exception of the first row or two for immediate family, which would be labeled and expected). My mother's argument is that people might get confused, as apparently she was at a recent wedding.

badbnagdway

flutteringinftmyers said:

badbnagdway said:

flutteringinftmyers said:

I just got told by a coworker that at her brother's wedding, the photographer straight up told her to stop taking pictures with her cell phone. I get that photographers get annoyed when someone steps into their shot with an iPad or a phone or what have you, but for the photographer to not allow anyone but himself to take pictures??

ETA: My mother also recently told me about two of her "good" ideas (seriously, most of her ideas are actually great, but I put my foot down here). First, we should have a sign that says, "Pick a seat, not a side," so people don't get confused. Second, I can honor people by having them pass out programs.

Thankfully it didn't take much to get her to realize these were not happening, but man. The internet is poisoning people's minds.

My sister reported to me that at her SIL's wedding the photographer freaked the fuck out when he saw anyone taking cell phone pictures. I'm not talking like, guests taking photos in the aisle during the ceremony, I'm talking, hey, that cake is so cute I want a picture and the photographer flipped out. 

I'm not clear on why "pick a seat, not a side" is a no no but would love to understand why. 

The idea is that you don't want to tell guests to do anything they could figure out by themselves. My argument would be people are adults and can sit wherever they please (with the exception of the first row or two for immediate family, which would be labeled and expected). My mother's argument is that people might get confused, as apparently she was at a recent wedding.

Ah, ok. I see. I generally agree that it's silly to tell adults what to do. In this case I guess I feel like you are telling people to do what they want as opposed to what is traditional (ie, sitting on the bride versus the groom's side). 

Admittedly, my condoning this is slightly self-interested as 30% of our guest list is made up of mutual friends -- I think it would make either of us sad if we thought they chose where to sit based on who they liked better/felt closer to!

flutteringinfl

badbnagdway said:

flutteringinftmyers said:

badbnagdway said:

flutteringinftmyers said:

I just got told by a coworker that at her brother's wedding, the photographer straight up told her to stop taking pictures with her cell phone. I get that photographers get annoyed when someone steps into their shot with an iPad or a phone or what have you, but for the photographer to not allow anyone but himself to take pictures??

ETA: My mother also recently told me about two of her "good" ideas (seriously, most of her ideas are actually great, but I put my foot down here). First, we should have a sign that says, "Pick a seat, not a side," so people don't get confused. Second, I can honor people by having them pass out programs.

Thankfully it didn't take much to get her to realize these were not happening, but man. The internet is poisoning people's minds.

My sister reported to me that at her SIL's wedding the photographer freaked the fuck out when he saw anyone taking cell phone pictures. I'm not talking like, guests taking photos in the aisle during the ceremony, I'm talking, hey, that cake is so cute I want a picture and the photographer flipped out. 

I'm not clear on why "pick a seat, not a side" is a no no but would love to understand why. 

The idea is that you don't want to tell guests to do anything they could figure out by themselves. My argument would be people are adults and can sit wherever they please (with the exception of the first row or two for immediate family, which would be labeled and expected). My mother's argument is that people might get confused, as apparently she was at a recent wedding.

Ah, ok. I see. I generally agree that it's silly to tell adults what to do. In this case I guess I feel like you are telling people to do what they want as opposed to what is traditional (ie, sitting on the bride versus the groom's side). 

Admittedly, my condoning this is slightly self-interested as 30% of our guest list is made up of mutual friends -- I think it would make either of us sad if we thought they chose where to sit based on who they liked better/felt closer to!

But if that many in your guest list are mutual friends, I'm sure they can figure it out, or you can alert a few people to spread the word day of, yanno? I think signs are too cutesy. I MIGHT compromise by putting a teeny note in the program, but even then I don't think it's necessary.

[Deleted User]

*gags*  That's absolutely crazy.  I would love to think that people know enough not to answer a call or leave it on ringer during a ceremony. 

As a photography fan, I all the pictures possible were greatly appreciated.  My mom, as MOB, had her camera placed under her seat at the ceremony.  She as a result got a better picture of our kiss than our photographer.  My dad tried to dissuade her from taking pictures, but I think that was the only time I pulled the "I'm the bride, if my mother has taken photos of all significant moments of my life, why would I deny her this pleasure now.