Spinoff: Craziest roommate stories?

lovesclimbing

Compared to some of these, my roommates were gems!  I got lucky, freshman year, I had a quiet roommate who wasn't around about 1/4 of the time because she'd stay with her boyfriend.  I kind of felt bad for her because whenever I'd overhear her phone conversations (not on purpose, she'd be ten feet away from me at her desk while I was at mine) with her boyfriend, it sounded like he was overbearing and it was all his way.

Then, I lived with my cousin, who was awesome and two other girls. It was an apartment with two rooms. My cousin and I were in one and these other two girls were in the other. Sometimes, they were loud and would have people over, but not too bad.  At least, it didn't get bad until literally the last day. It was the night before they moved out, finals week.  My cousin had already moved out.

I wake up in the middle of the night to really loud noise.  People yelling just loud stuff.  I finally get back to sleep.  I wake up the next morning.  I'm heading out to my final exam and I can't find my shoes. So I go  in different shoes and come back.  My roommates have been gone all day.  I go upstairs and happen to glance over at their room and I see what looks like one of my shoes in their room (door was open)! So I go in and grab it.  Sure enough, it's my shoe.  I leave it there and go downstairs and right then, one of the guys they hung out with a lot came in.  I'm asking about where my roommates are (they missed their appointment for their room to be checked over by the RAs) and he tells me they're actually sobering up over in his apartment.  Then, he gets all embarrassed.  He says, "Was it .... loud in here last night?"  I said " .... Yea, a little bit."  He says "Oh yea.  Sorry, we got kind of loud and drunk and I broke a tooth."  He opens his mouth and he LITERALLY HAD BROKEN A TOOTH!  Half of one of his front teeth is GONE!  Like the bottom half of one of his top two front teeth was broken off and GONE.  Even now when I think of it, I still remember being so shocked! I couldn't even speak! He left, came back, and I asked if he knew where my other shoe was ($120 Danskos, most expensive ones I owned).  He says "Oh yea, I might have taken some stuff when I was drunk." He leaves and comes back with my shoe!  Fortunately, I kept pretty much all my stuff in my room and nothing else was taken.

Oh man!  Then, my final semester in that apartment, I had a good friend in my room with me and two new girls in the second room.  They were decent.  Not loud, no guys brought home so that was all good. I moved out after just fall semester because I was getting married.  My roommate, rather than risk getting a new bad roommate (she'd had a string of them before me), moved in with some other girls in a different apartment she knew.  So our other two roommates were still in there.  The girl in my room and I checked out and the RAs double checked our room and the house.  It was all good.  Well, we found out later our other two roommates got a big huge stain on the carpet.  And then when the RAs checked the place, they tried to blame us.  

My sister had some bad ones though.  She walked in on her roommate with her laptop facing the door. She was skyping with her boyfriend and the camera was focused on ... well, I'm sure you can guess what part of the boyfriend's anatomy it was focused on! That girl was also really crazy.  They eventually had to sit down with an RA and hash stuff out because the roommate had alcohol in the room (a dry upper-classman dorm, which you chose to get into, and both were underage and the girl was, get this, a criminal justice major) and didn't want my sister to have her alarm going off early in the morning. And by early I mean 6:30 or 7 for an 8 a.m. class. The funny thing is, you were supposed to put messy/not-messy, early bird/night owl on your application.  This girl was crazy messy and a night owl, yet she got paired with my sister, who was the opposite.  She also stole my sister's clothes, but of course, my sister couldn't prove it.

novella1186

lovesclimbing sometimes I think with those applications for "living preferences" or whatever, they don't even look at them. I had to fill one of those out for an apartment complex that did individual leases. I had a dog and I got put with a girl who had 2 cats and specifically said no dogs cuz she didn't like them and her cats didn't like them. Before that, I asked to be paired with someone who didn't have furniture cuz I had a ton, and I got paired with a girl who had a ton, like an insane amount of stuff crammed into a tiny apartment, so I made management switch me. It was a mess. 

HaileyDancingbear

So FI's friends (There were 6 of them in a suite, 3 rooms, 2 per room) had a roommate last semester who was fucking insane.  I'm going to list the "quirks" from least weird to most batshit crazy.

-Wore a Santa hat daily pretty much every time of year that was NOT near Christmas

-Constantly used his roommate's (As in the 1 of them stuck sharing a bedroom with this nutcase) pillows, wore his boxers, used his laptop and downloaded viruses

-Had a jar of teeth that he CLAIMED were all his own, but there were way too many teeth in there for them to all belong to him.  He said he was going to make a bracelet out of them.

-one night he decided to wear a V for Vendetta mask and chase people down the hallways with a KNIFE.  YES A FUCKING KNIFE.  HE THOUGHT THAT WAS FUNNY.  

Of course the people running the college FI goes to are a bunch of shitty assholes (Cutting the availability of the meal plan food, and the quality, without cutting the price the students pay, allowing a teacher to continue working there who has sexually harassed MANY female students, one of which he locked in a fucking closet with him, and HE'S STILL TEACHING THERE) who clearly do not give a shit about the safety or well-being of their students whatsoever so this roommate was not expelled for chasing people with a knife.

So this year, he got a new roommate, and actually did get expelled for ATTEMPTED MURDER.  Be put bleach in his roommate's mouthwash, the roommate didn't die, but did immediately contact the authorities, and this psycho finally got expelled.  A mutual friend ran into him on campus the day he was leaving, wearing nothing but a trench coat and saying that he didn't see what the big deal was since his roommate didn't actually die.  

pinkcow13

I only had one roommate my 4 years of college and obviously she was awesome. Only roommate I've ever had - she's even a Bridesmaid! Our suitemate (other bridesmaid) was not so lucky freshman year.

First semester  she lived with a girl who started out really friendly. The 4 of us became friends, we used to all hang out with our little college crew, things were great. Then, I can't really remember why, the girl just became a total bitch. I can't remember the details, but she made our suitemates life miserable. And I couldn't stand her because she used to smoke in our room and leave her cigarette water. Basically, she would fill up a plastic cup with water and use it as an ash tray. Pissed me off so much. She was better friends at that point with my roommate, so I would see the cups when I got back to the room. I once accidentally drank this water, and that's when I forbade her from ever smoking in the room.

Second semester a new girl moved in, Smokey McSmokerson had requested a room change. Again, the girl started out nice enough. One day, Suitemate walked into their bedroom after class, and Psycho was in the middle of the floor, on the ground, legs eagle spread, waxing her lady bits. The kicker? She completely FLIPPED out on Suitemate, yelling at her, and almost attacking her for "walking in" on her. That night she approached Suitemate with a pair of scissors and told her that she better sleep with one eye open. Needless to say, Roomie and I let her stay in our room for a few days (she stayed in my bed, I stayed at FI's), as we demanded that the girl be moved from our suite. The good part was that Suitemate then had her own room for the remainder of the semester.

novella1186

HaileyDancingbear omg i seriously can't get past "jar of teeth".... Whose teeth were they? AND WHERE DID HE GET THEM?! 

He should be in jail after the knife thing and especially after the bleach thing. JFC! 

novella1186

pinkcow13 wtf?! Why are there this many fucked up people in the world?! 

SBmini

Oh my- some of you girls lived with people who needed some serious help! Mine doesn't seem so bad now, but she was still a nightmare. It was my very first roommate experience too. Her parents purchased a house near school for her to live in- she had since graduated and still paid them rent, and rented out the other two rooms. We'll call her H and my other roommate- who was a friend, E.

She was ditzy and blonde and didn't know how to take care of her self. she didn't know how to clean or cook and had a crazy untrained chihuahua. She also smoked pot all the time. E and I made the best of it. We made a chore list and when we asked H to do some things she said that she took out the trash and that was her chore. So E and I did everything. The backyard was just dirt and I hated it, so I took time and effort to make it look better. The light in the kitchen broke, so I donated one of my lamps so we had light in there.

One day I came home and there were marijuana plants in the backyard! 12 of them! E freaked out and called her dad in a panic because she was afraid she could get arrested for it. I asked H what was going on and her boyfriend had brought them over. She had her medical license so they were technically legal for her to have- but seriously- warn people before you start farming marijuana! When the wind blew right the whole street smelled like weed, but I doubt most of our neighbors really cared. She sold quiet a bit to the guy across the street.

Then there was H's BF. They fought all the time. He was very controlling and manipulative and she just whined and complained all the time. But then, one day, they decided that they were going to buy the house and they gave us 60 days to leave, which was nice of them, I'll give them that.

During the next 60 days, E and I were unwelcomed guests in H's home. She got very passive aggressive, but what upset me more is that she suddenly started to fix all the things that she just let us deal with. She had the backyard completely landscaped. She replaced the light in the kitchen. But her attitude was so bad that E and I completely stopped cleaning and taking care of her dog. It shit all over the place. I just wore shoes because it was no longer my problem.

Then, the day before I moved out, I was boxing up all my things to move. I decided to put them in the garage overnight. Per our lease agreement, we were allowed space in the garage to store things. But H had asked that we take everything out of the garage a week or two earlier- which I did. But she didn't have anything in the garage- it was empty. So I put my boxes in there for one night and she flips her shit on me. Screaming at me, demanding that I take them out of there. I said no, the garage space is mine and will be mine until I move out and she can deal with it for one more night. 

So she was outside screaming at her boyfriend about how awful I was, and I was inside screaming at my boyfriend about how awful she was. It was a mess. I was so happy to be out of there.

Then, a week later, E dropped by the house to pick up a paycheck that was delivered there and a cleaning service answered the door. I was so upset. I didn't mean to make things hard on those poor strangers. Had I known H would have started using a cleaning crew the second we were out of there, I wouldn't have lived in such filth the last few weeks.