March 2015 Weddings

Matron of Honor issues

ryniah612ryniah612 member
First Comment
edited November 2014 in March 2015 Weddings
Ok so I'm having some concerns about my Matron of Honor. Basically she has been doing some procrastination as far as ordering her dress (everybody else in the wedding party has ordered their dresses. Some already have theirs in hand). Our David's Bridal consultant set our deadline to Nov. 15 (so she still has two days to get her dress). The reason I'm concerned is because she tells me she's going to order her dress this day, then the next day, and then another day but when that day comes, she doesn't do it. It's frustrating that she's telling me one thing but doing another. I've reminded her in the past so she's fully aware of the deadline. The deadline is there because of availability. She told me about a week or so ago on a Thursday when I asked her if she ordered the dress (she previously told me she was ordering it that day, and I called to confirm) that she wanted to "wait a little bit longer." She won't tell me why she wants to wait. Like I said before, she does still have a couple of days left, but given past circumstances, I'm afraid she'll either forget or she just won't really care. It's been about 2 weeks since we've spoken and I texted her this morning just to check in on her order and I haven't heard back from her. So, at this point, I'm not sure what to do since she does have a little time left. I've been super patient and haven't been like a complete tyrant about the situation, Just need some advice! Oh, and nothing rude please.

Re: Matron of Honor issues

  • #Ryniah612 I know your frustration.  No one in my wedding have order their dress.  I set a deadline of Nov. 1st and no one bought there dress.  My maid of honor told me it is interfering with her Christmas budget and she will get it when she gets it and not to worry.  I think now I am hoping their dresses don't come in time and they can not be in my wedding.  I am so bitter now and frustrated. It is hard because it is my sister and my mother agrees with her.  I feel alone with no one on my side.  You are not alone.  
    ryniah612
  • Omg I feel the very same way! Thank you! I posted this same problem on another website and like everybody was against me. They basically called me an overbearing b*tch and it just really hurt me. I secretly wish my Matron forgets to order hers to I have a reason to flip out on her. I'm trying to be as patient as possible, She still has 2 days to order it. I am beyond frustrated
  • Luckily I only have three bridesmaids, so I ended up getting the dresses for two of them (mainly because they are opposite builds and I wanted to make sure it looked good on them both). We weren't going to be able to even start looking until this month due to different work schedules, and I found the dresses at Dillard's. I w
  • Sorry, my message got cut off.... I would ask her if she even wants to be in the wedding, because she doesn't act like it
  • dolewhipperdolewhipper [wh]orlando member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    ryniah612 said:
    Ok so I'm having some concerns about my Matron of Honor. Basically she has been doing some procrastination as far as ordering her dress (everybody else in the wedding party has ordered their dresses. Some already have theirs in hand). Our David's Bridal consultant set our deadline to Nov. 15 (so she still has two days to get her dress). The reason I'm concerned is because she tells me she's going to order her dress this day, then the next day, and then another day but when that day comes, she doesn't do it. It's frustrating that she's telling me one thing but doing another. I've reminded her in the past so she's fully aware of the deadline. The deadline is there because of availability. She told me about a week or so ago on a Thursday when I asked her if she ordered the dress (she previously told me she was ordering it that day, and I called to confirm) that she wanted to "wait a little bit longer." She won't tell me why she wants to wait. Like I said before, she does still have a couple of days left, but given past circumstances, I'm afraid she'll either forget or she just won't really care. It's been about 2 weeks since we've spoken and I texted her this morning just to check in on her order and I haven't heard back from her. So, at this point, I'm not sure what to do since she does have a little time left. I've been super patient and haven't been like a complete tyrant about the situation, Just need some advice! Oh, and nothing rude please.
    You've been "super patient" but you keep reminding her the deadline? Have you spoken to her/had lunch/coffee to just catch up on life? You say you don't know why she is procrastinating. Perhaps she really just doesn't have the money at the current time and she's too embarrassed to tell you. I'm assuming your MOH is an adult; tell her the deadline and if she misses it it's her responsibility to pay the rush fee.

    Additionally, how important is this dress to you? If she really doesn't have the money, especially since she is MOH and it's not uncommon for her to wear a different dress from the other girls, could you find her something cheaper where she doesn't have to order it, like at a department store? You say "given past circumstances" which I don't know what they are, but without that information I can't help much more than that. 


    ryniah612 said:
    Omg I feel the very same way! Thank you! I posted this same problem on another website and like everybody was against me. They basically called me an overbearing b*tch and it just really hurt me. I secretly wish my Matron forgets to order hers to I have a reason to flip out on her. I'm trying to be as patient as possible, She still has 2 days to order it. I am beyond frustrated
    Yea, I would agree with everyone else on that other site and agree that you're acting like a bitch. Your MOH is supposed to be your nearest and dearest and you hope you get the chance to "flip out" on her? How horrible.

    #Ryniah612 I know your frustration.  No one in my wedding have order their dress.  I set a deadline of Nov. 1st and no one bought there dress.  My maid of honor told me it is interfering with her Christmas budget and she will get it when she gets it and not to worry.  I think now I am hoping their dresses don't come in time and they can not be in my wedding.  I am so bitter now and frustrated. It is hard because it is my sister and my mother agrees with her.  I feel alone with no one on my side.  You are not alone.  
    Why did you make that deadline? You can't just make up a deadline in your mind for your well being. You ask your ladies what their budget is (which I'm unsure you did considering she can't afford it and it's interfering with her already made budget), tell them where to buy the dress and in what color (if necessary). Also, to the bolded, if I knew my friend felt that way about me, I would drop out and stop being their friend. Then you really would be alone.

    -----------------------------------
    A lot of you ladies sound REALLY entitled. All your WP needs to do is show up in the dress you specified on the time and day of your wedding not drunk. THATS IT. Also, has it ever occurred to anyone that websites like Tradesy, EBAY, Preownedweddingdresses and the such could carry the dress they need at a significantly reduced price? All of my girls found their's that way and it saved them all over $100. I had to remind my sister/MOH once that the deadline for Dessy was approaching (Nov 15) or then she would have to pay a rush fee (she specifically told me she wanted a new dress). Guess what? She ordered it yesterday.

    If you don't trust your WP to get the 1 out of 3 things needed to be in your wedding, how could you trust them to get the other 2 things, and why did you ask them in the first place?


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    tcnobletaygete05
  • Dolewhipper. My bridesmaid meet up and picked out the dress they knew the price how long it takes to get here.  As of right now the dresses would come in the week of the wedding.  My wedding party is my sister, my future sister in law and my niece.  That is why I asked them.  I even gave my bridesmaid a coupon to get the dress 50% off.  They have had over a year to save and get the dress.  Sorry you think I feel entitled. I set the deadline so the dress would come in a month before the wedding and could be altered to how the girls want to wear them.  

  • Ditto everything @dolewhipper‌ said.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • dolewhipperdolewhipper [wh]orlando member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Dolewhipper. My bridesmaid meet up and picked out the dress they knew the price how long it takes to get here.  As of right now the dresses would come in the week of the wedding.  My wedding party is my sister, my future sister in law and my niece.  That is why I asked them.  I even gave my bridesmaid a coupon to get the dress 50% off.  They have had over a year to save and get the dress.  Sorry you think I feel entitled. I set the deadline so the dress would come in a month before the wedding and could be altered to how the girls want to wear them.  

    This changes things significantly. When you withhold this kind of information, I cannot make good judgement on your situation. This just sucks. Since no one has purchased them, can you make it easier, like say, any LBD that falls between your calf and knee? That way if their budget is $20 or $200, they can find something easily.

    I personally paid for one of my girls' dresses and she is paying me back slowly. Her standing next to me is more important, and if my vision is getting in the way I am willing to help her in any way I could.


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