Upcoming shower: My responsibilities as bride?

strawberrybee9

Hi all,

My FI's aunt, cousin and sister are generously hosting a shower for me in a few weeks. Oddly, I have never been to a bridal shower (as an adult), so I'm not sure if there's anything I should specifically know/do/not do. Other than making sure my thank you notes are in the mail *ASAP*, is there anything I need to be aware of?

Question #2: How do I keep track of who gives me what, so I can make sure the thank you notes are correct (and that I don't miss sending one)? There are about 30 people coming, and some of them I've never met, or have only met once, and I'm nervous about getting confused. When I had a graduation party (years ago), I opened gifts/cards after the party, on my own, and was able to make a list of what I'd received for my thank you notes. I'm not sure what to do about this at the shower, when I'll be publicly opening gifts and wouldn't be able to make a list.

Question #3: Has anyone found it awkward to open registry gifts in front of the gift giver? Other than thanking them warmly and sincerely, it's not like I can say, "It's beautiful!" since FI and I are the ones who registered for it. I don't want to come across as awkward. (I can be pretty shy and get tongue-tied.) Any advice? Thank you!

JCbride2015

I haven't had my own shower yet but I've been to a few.  Usually the MOH or the host sits next to the bride as she opens gifts and keeps a list.  As for accepting the gifts, I think it's fine to say how much you wanted X or you love Y.  You picked it out but the giver also must have liked it enough to choose it off the registry.

Hope you have a great time at your shower!

ETA: You sound like you would have thought of this already, but you should give the hosts a nice gift and card after the shower as a thank-you for hosting.

theartistformerlyknownas

Yep, what JC said. Someone normally sits by the bride's side and takes notes of what's been given. My sister/MOH wrote on the backs of each card what the gift was, and my (f)SIL wrote everything down on a legal pad.

Whenever something was from someone I didn't know, I'd keep my eyes down on the card for an extra second and read "from Theresa!" or whomever. Usually by the time I looked up, the person in question was grinning/waving and people were looking at her so I didn't look like an idiot looking around the room wondering who the fuck Theresa was.

Sometimes the bride will give a little "thank you for coming" sort of speech, but I didn't. I saw that more as the host's role. I said thank you as I opened each gift and then thanked them in person/hugged goodbye, and sent cards ASAP.

If it's something from your registry, you're still allowed to be excited about getting it! You can say that you're so excited to make the stuff with the thing, and isn't this design so pretty? In place of saying "oh my goodness, it's so pretty." Because duh, you picked it. It was fun at my second shower to explain to my (f)SIL what each kitchen thing was for, because she doesn't cook at all and was completely mindblown that some of these things existed. "Ooh Becca look, my baking dish! This is the best for scalloped potatoes." "There are different pans for different types of potatoes?!" (This also helped her write accurately who gave what, because otherwise she was writing "big box of kitchen stuff" and "that one white thing I didn't know what it was."

lc07

strawberrybee9 said:

Hi all,

My FI's aunt, cousin and sister are generously hosting a shower for me in a few weeks. Oddly, I have never been to a bridal shower (as an adult), so I'm not sure if there's anything I should specifically know/do/not do. Other than making sure my thank you notes are in the mail *ASAP*, is there anything I need to be aware of?

Question #2: How do I keep track of who gives me what, so I can make sure the thank you notes are correct (and that I don't miss sending one)? There are about 30 people coming, and some of them I've never met, or have only met once, and I'm nervous about getting confused. When I had a graduation party (years ago), I opened gifts/cards after the party, on my own, and was able to make a list of what I'd received for my thank you notes. I'm not sure what to do about this at the shower, when I'll be publicly opening gifts and wouldn't be able to make a list.

Question #3: Has anyone found it awkward to open registry gifts in front of the gift giver? Other than thanking them warmly and sincerely, it's not like I can say, "It's beautiful!" since FI and I are the ones who registered for it. I don't want to come across as awkward. (I can be pretty shy and get tongue-tied.) Any advice? Thank you!

PPs have you covered. Also, be sure to individually greet all of the guests and thank them personally for coming. 

SomethingBeautiful08

Question 1: Not really, dress nicely appropriate to the time of day.  Bring your largest car or gifts if you have a choice.  Relax and enjoy.
Question 2: Normally someone volenteers to take notes while you are opening up gifts.  If not, you might think about bringing a roll of tape to tape the card on to the gifts.  Even if someone is taking notes I would still try to put the card into the gifts.  Obviously everyone at the shower should already be invited to the wedding so you should have their address but if there is a gift from someone not invited, try to approach them after the gifts are opened saying something like, "I love the gift you gave, I'm so excited to show FI and we took forward to sending a thank you note, but I'm not sure if I have your address, could you give it to me again?" 
Question 3: It is a little awkward just because you are the center of attention. Think about why you put it on the registry in the first place and go with those, it might be that it is pretty or useful or fun.  Nothing wrong with those.

southernbelle0915

Just make sure as you open gifts you take the time to verbally thank people and give guests a second to oogle the gift. You don't want to come off like you're just slamming through the gifts. Those types of showers are just awkward - where the bride is like "cool my plates, cool my sheets, cool my towels..." When she should be like, "what a pretty card, thank you Aunt Milly! *opens gift* oh wonderful! We're so excited to finally have matching towels. Aunt Milly, thank you so much."

Jen4948

I just think you need to appear appropriately grateful for each gift you got as well as the shower itself.  The hostess, or someone she designates, can write down for you who gave you what and their addresses, while you verbally thank the givers as you open each gift and appear thrilled, and then pass them around.

It would be appropriate to send your hostess(es) a thank you note for the shower.  You can also give her/them some sort of hostessing gift as well.

Aray82

Fwiw, I didn't find it hard to be genuinely surprised and visibly surprised when I opened gifts I registered for. In addition to being touched by the thoughtfulness of the givers, I was also astounded by the beauty of certain kitchen items even when I'd seen them before. It also helped that I did no stalking of the registry for two months before the shower. I'm also just a huge sucker for quality cookware so even now I'll still exclaim "Look how beautiful this sauté pan is!" To DH as we're cooking

strawberrybee9

Thank you very much, everyone! You all were really helpful.