Money and Marriage

I'm wondering how people handle money with their partners and if it changed after the wedding. I currently make about the same as my FI and it always seemed easier to split the cost of the bills through a joint account we move money into but the majority of our income stays in our personal accounts. It works really well for us so this way if he buys something I think is silly it doesn't really impact me. I just assumed that after the marriage we'd have all our money in a joint checking and savings account. My FI and I recently talked about our plans to handle money after the wedding and I was surprised that he had a "if it's not broke don't fix it" attitude towards it. It makes sense for us, but it just doesn’t seem very romantic.

Re: Money and Marriage

  • edited December 2011
    We are having this dilema as well.  We have been living together for almost 2 years now and have a 20 month old girl so we share our money, split bills and help each other out if needed.  I was thinking we would get a joint checking account when we got married but he thinks we should have one together and then keep separate accounts as well.  I'm not sure what we will end up doing.  It's a tough one and from what I hear the majority of arguments between married couples relates to money so I'm hoping we sort this out pre wedding.
  • edited December 2011
    Prior to being married, we had seperate accounts.

    Now that we are married, we have one joint for bills, and we each have our own. 
    We both put in the majority of our paychecks into the joint account, but keep an "allowance" of sorts in our own accounts.

    I really like the way this system is working out..  Both of us are comfortable this way... and there have been no fights thus far.  Lots of talking though ;)

    Also... if you need help with your budgeting on your joint account.. I discovered this site : www.mint.com

    It's phenominal.  My husband had a little bit of debt coming into our marriage (about 1k) and by the end of next month, it'll be eliminated.
    Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. - Dr. Seuss
  • sarahmarietmsarahmarietm member
    edited December 2011
    mint.com is the shizzzz! very useful, and it's free!
  • DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    We are the oddballs who didn't live together before we got married and our accounts were not combined prior to marriage (though once we were engaged, and even before then, we had a "what's yours is mine and what's mine is yours" attitude toward money).  We now have multiple accounts and everything is shared.  We trust each other enough not to make dumb financial decisions.  However, combined is not right for everyone.  In fact, a friend of mine and her husband combined when they got married and ended up separating it all out.  They're still married and doing well, they just found that combined income didn't work for them at all.  Now they have a joint account for bills that they each pay into and an independent account for the rest of it.
  • edited December 2011
    We created a joint account after we got engaged and used that money to pay for our wedding. Now we're using it as the main account to pay bills, buy groceries, etc. We both kept our previous, separate accounts though. We put all our paychecks in the joint account and then each month, $100 is transferred to our separate accounts. We agreed we can use that money for lunches, other non necessities, birthday presents for each other and in my case shoes! That way, if I want to be an idiot and buy a $200 pair of shoes, I can - but I have to save up my money to do it - and he can't say a word to me about it. Same goes for him and his Xbox games and other collections of man stuff that I don't get. 

    My parents think we're crazy and that all money should go into one pot. But this works for us. And that's the most important thing - you find a system that works for you two. 
  • edited December 2011
    I think what makes us different is FI wants to keep it so if he makes more he gets more personal money. Most people I know do what Snarkygirl said were they each get a set amount no matter how much they work or earn. I make a little more than him now, but he'll probably make a lot more 10 years from now. I could end up getting resentful if he was driving a new car and I was still buying my clothes at goodwill but I'm sure we'll renegotiate a lot between now and then.

    Thanks for telling me about Mint. I just signed up!
  • edited December 2011
    Some of us believe that there's no perfect couple. Do you know they say so? It's because every couple has something to argue, and one of these is about finance. Relationships are built up with trust. A strong partner's relationship requires a fantastic deal of trust, particularly when it comes to money. Being on the same page and avoiding money fights is very important. Jill Gianola, a registered financial advisor with the National Association of Personal Financial Advisors, has some advice for how partners can best avoid money quarrels. Here is the proof: How to avoid money arguments, for couples.
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