I have a great group of BMs who all know each other and are a lot of fun. They're all pretty involved in my life: easy to get in touch with, always asking about wedding stuff, etc. I obviously haven't demanded anything of them but I do know they're already planning my bach party and whatnot.
Then I have one other BM who, I hate to say it, is kind of the outsider. I met her at work several years ago and she doesn't know any of my other BMs. We were really close when we worked together and I was also in her wedding this past summer. I have no regrets about asking her to be a BM, but it's hard to keep her involved in my wedding planning. She has a demanding job and lives in a different part of the country, and it doesn't help that she's really hard to get in touch with. I'll email her or call her, and it will be a week before she gets back to me. If we're lucky, we talk once a month.
The last time we talked, she expressed to me that she really wants to help with my wedding, and wants to know what she can do. I have to admit she's under the impression that BMs are the bride's slaves. She was a little demanding as a bride herself, asking me and her other BMs to do extra stuff for her (that went beyond buying a dress and showing up for the wedding), and I think she expects me to ask her to do stuff like that for my wedding. And I think she wants to do extra stuff, to feel involved, and is disappointed that she's not.
So that begs the question: do I a) just tell her everything is fine and she doesn't have to do anything (which will continue her feeling of feel like a loner BM), or do I b) give her a something to do so that she feels involved?