Wearing same wedding dress for 2nd marriage

tracylogan13

Is it in bad taste to wear the same wedding dress that I wore to my 1st marriage? I am a very plus size girl and the dress I originally got married in fits me and I still love it. Is it in bad taste?  If it is, what if I change it up a bit?  My fiancé has seen me in it and loves it.

misshart00

I think it's fine. I assume you chose the dress because you love it. Go for it.

[Deleted User]

For me personally it depends on what happened to first marriage. I'm kind of superstitous. If my first marriage ended in divorce I personally wouldn't wear it. But just to give you an idea of to what extreme I took things, I didn't want to get married in my family church because both my of my sisters got married there and one of our groomsmen did too and they are all divorced. Even though it would have been under a different pastor I wanted something totally different from them.

[Deleted User]

I wouldnt.. A new marriage is a new life. Out with the old in with the new... Is there anyway maybe to have it redesigned a bit or find somthing similar. My family would have a cow over this (I am divorced as well). I understand really loving the old dress but do you want any of the memories even the smallest ones on the day your marrying your new life partner?

climbingsingle

I personally think it's fine. But I would maybe change it up a bit. 

tracylogan13

Erikan73, I am kind of superstitious too so I understand where you are coming from.  My 1st marriage ended in divorce because he cheated on me with a long time friend. I was hoping I could change it up a bit.  I really love the dress and when I look at it, I don't see my marriage, I see my dress and how beautiful I felt in it. I don't get to feel beautiful like other people normally do. I am a VERY big girl and most people talk down to people that look like me or think we are worthless.

Thank you all for giving me your thoughts,

Tracy

 

 

KatWAG

If you are happy with it then go for it.

Personally I wouldnt. For me, it would be bad ju ju or something. Which I know isnt logical.

levioosa

I personally wouldn't, but if both you and your FI are good with it, I don't see why you can't.

Is there any way you could alter it to be different?  Different sash, adding straps (if it's strapless), or a different veil?  

Maggie0829

Personally I wouldn't want to wear the same dress.  Not because it would be bad ju ju or something like that but because new wedding, new FI/husband to be, new start to a new life all equals new dress.

tracylogan13

I'll still be looking for a similar dress but if I don't find anything I like then I plan on changing it up like the sash, wearing a different veil, wearing my hair different etc... even changing out the jewelry and wearing different shoes.

southernbelle0915

You posted this on etiquette so I'm assuming you want to know whether this is good/bad etiquette. From an etiquette perspective, I think it's fine. It's not hurting anyone, especially if your FI loves it and you don't care.

Personally, I wouldn't for the reasons others have stated, but it's a personal preference, not a hard and fast rule.

bethsmiles

tracylogan13 said:

Erikan73, I am kind of superstitious too so I understand where you are coming from.  My 1st marriage ended in divorce because he cheated on me with a long time friend. I was hoping I could change it up a bit.  I really love the dress and when I look at it, I don't see my marriage, I see my dress and how beautiful I felt in it. I don't get to feel beautiful like other people normally do. I am a VERY big girl and most people talk down to people that look like me or think we are worthless.

Thank you all for giving me your thoughts,

Tracy

 

 

This post, especially the bolded, makes me think you should absolutely wear it. All that matters is that it makes you feel beautiful. 

Your post also makes me sad and angry (not at you, at assholes who judge others). Just because you don't fit into society's tiny framework of beauty doesn't mean you aren't beautiful and especially doesn't make you worthless!

tracylogan13

Thank you BethSmiles 

photokitty

I think it's just a dress and I don't believe inanimate objects carry bad juju. If you love it and your FI doesn't mind then I think you should do what makes you happy. What you wear has no impact on your guests or properly hosting them, so I don't think it matter what anyone thinks but the two of you.

GL!!

Jells2dot0

Is the formality level of your second wedding the same? My second wedding was vastly different from my first and if I had worn my gown from my first wedding at my second, I'd have looked like a total ass (IMHO).

However, it is important that you are happy with your dress. If that is what you are happy with, then go for it!

cafarrie

IMO it's just a dress - so if you love and feel beautiful I would not hesitate to wear it!!!!  I would probably do what you already mentioned and add a sash or fun accessories or something to change it up a bit. 

yogablossom

Wearing the same dress definitely isn't for me. But that being said, if you feel beautiful in it, and are happy in it, then you should definitely wear it! You can change it up, wear your hair differently, do whatever!

cowgirl8238

I think if you change it up a bit with the sash, hairstyle, veil, shoes, jewerly...it will be like a whole different look anyway.  Honestly its up to you what you're comfortable with.

thisismynickname2

I think it's important that you noted your FI loves you in the dress.

My DH was married once before me and I couldn't even stand to have a Catholic Church wedding for us, because he had it the first time around and I would feel like a "do-over."  If he even suggested reusing his original wedding suit I would have had a cow. (Also, he chose not to have a titanium wedding band for the sole reason he had that band his first time around.)

If your FI is on board, and you're on board, go for it. 

theartistformerlyknownas

Not in bad taste at all. If you want to wear it, rock that dress! I would still change it up a bit so while it has the overall shape and fit you love, you'll have wonderful new memories in a wonderful "new" dress. Find a highly rated tailor in your area, tell them what you told us about how beautiful this dress makes you feel and how much your FI loves it, and see what they can do!

Nymeru

If you're lucky enough to have a dress that you still love, and which has no negative connotations for you, then absolutely wear it.  Do what makes you happy.

charlieyankee03

I just wanted to echo PPs. The fact that your FI loves you in it and neither of you see your first marriage in that dress tells me you should absolutely wear it again. I would probably change it up just a bit (ie. add/change a sash or alter the sleeves), but I don't think there is anything wrong with this etiquette-wise. If I hadn't ruined my mother's wedding dress playing dress-up when I was little I might have worn it for my wedding, and my parent's marriage ended in divorce. It is (was) still a beautiful dress that I loved. (Sorry mom!)

loro929

I agree with PPs. 

If you are comfortable with that choice and the dress makes you feel beautiful and confident - then I would definitely go and rock it with all my heart out!

raissyrais

Do what makes you feel beautiful. That's all that matters. Maybe you can add a sash or straps and change up jewellery too ass new memories? And don't worry about them stupid assholes looking down on you. We are all beautiful. Rock your dress!

STARMOON44

I think you should wear that dress and spend what would have been your dress budget on a really awesome piece of jewelry.

LabLove86

I vote wear it.

If it was me I would probably do something to change it - but thats my personal choice.

If you love it how it is, you feel beautiful in it, your fi loves how you look in it - rock that shit. 

Jen4948

I don't think there's any etiquette issue with rewearing your dress, especially if your current FO is okay with it, but if the previous marriage ended in divorce I wouldn't. Juju or no, I'd want to start out fresh.

hyechica81

wear what makes you feel good i am plus size too. i loved my dress so much i didnt want to take it off after reception was over if i ever renew my vows i would probably want to wear that same dress again beacuse it made me feel so good in it.

if you want see if you can  alter it a bit to make it look different 

[Deleted User]

tracylogan13 said:

Erikan73, I am kind of superstitious too so I understand where you are coming from.  My 1st marriage ended in divorce because he cheated on me with a long time friend. I was hoping I could change it up a bit.  I really love the dress and when I look at it, I don't see my marriage, I see my dress and how beautiful I felt in it. I don't get to feel beautiful like other people normally do. I am a VERY big girl and most people talk down to people that look like me or think we are worthless.

Thank you all for giving me your thoughts,

Tracy

 

 

I totally get where you are coming from, I'm a big girl myself and it's not easy. If you love the dress, go for it!!!

SP29

Personally, I probably wouldn't, because I think I'd get bad vibes from it (and I think I'd have fun looking for a new dress), but it's not against etiquette. 

However, since you say the dress to you does not remind you of marriage #1, you just see a dress you love- go for it! Would be nice to change it up a bit- different sash, veil, jewellery and shoes.