Wedding vision

CMGragain

I keep reading that brides have a "wedding vision".  I don't get it.  At my daughter's wedding, she decided that guests were the most important thing to her.  She would rather have inexpensive invitations, flowers, cake, and time of day (morning ceremony) than to cut her guest list.  There was no magic vision in her mind, except she insisted on a church wedding.
How many of you ladies had a wedding vision?  Did you achieve it?  What cuts did you have to make?

doeydo

Not getting married anytime in the foreseeable future, but I know the colours I have in mind and overall feel (ie. formality, decor, size of guest list).  

AddieCake

I had one and didn't have to make any cuts to achieve it. The day was exactly what we wanted.

beethery

Yeah. Big drunk dance party with good food, tons of booze, handheld serious business confetti poppers, and good music.

As long as everyone shows up, shouldn't be an issue. Confetti poppers are getting purchased in a couple weeks.

I had to forgo the champagne bottle-shaped poppers for regular ones so that I would not feel like a dick about the cost efficiency of radness.

penguin44

beethery said:

Yeah. Big drunk dance party with good food, tons of booze, handheld serious business confetti poppers, and good music.

As long as everyone shows up, shouldn't be an issue. Confetti poppers are getting purchased in a couple weeks.

I had to forgo the champagne bottle-shaped poppers for regular ones so that I would not feel like a dick about the cost efficiency of radness.

I am sad I didn't think of confetti poppers. Although I'm not sure my venue allowed confetti...

I had a similar vision. All of my friends and family having a great time partying. Plus lots of candles and fresh cut flowers. I got all of it. 

lyndausvi

I always wanted a beach wedding.  So in that aspect, yes I had a vision.      We both assumed we would have a full dinner, open bar  and dancing.   So again, yes we had a vision.

I was living in the virgin islands when I got  married.  I could have easily had the wedding there.  I had been living there for 10 years, owned a waterfront condo.  It was clearly our home.   We choose a beach in South Jersey to make it easier for our guests.  Beaches and water are totally different.   

 Who attended was VERY important to us.  While it was still 2-4 hours away from most of our guests, it was much easier to get to and way less expensive then going to the islands.

We did not have to compromise on how we hosted the event.  The only compromise we would have made was location.   Full, open bar and dancing are affordable at any budget.

We invited 174 people and 145 came.   Even with the hurricane hitting South Jersey that day and not the islands I do not regret my choice at all.

beethery

penguin44 said:

beethery said:

Yeah. Big drunk dance party with good food, tons of booze, handheld serious business confetti poppers, and good music.

As long as everyone shows up, shouldn't be an issue. Confetti poppers are getting purchased in a couple weeks.

I had to forgo the champagne bottle-shaped poppers for regular ones so that I would not feel like a dick about the cost efficiency of radness.

I am sad I didn't think of confetti poppers. Although I'm not sure my venue allowed confetti...

I had a similar vision. All of my friends and family having a great time partying. Plus lots of candles and fresh cut flowers. I got all of it. 

My venue doesn't have carpet anywhere so I'm just going to be going nuts with a push broom post-party. Going to tape one of those big industrial trashbags to the top step leading onto that floor and just run everything into it.

I gotta remember to get my fake tea lights soon. My OG vision included real candles (because they're cheaper) but the fire marshal CRUSHED MY DREEEEAAAAAMMMMMM.

Oh well, LED candles will do.

LadyMillil

Our vision was to get married at a little B&B on one of the islands off the BC coast in the spring with all our close friends and family. Most of our friends and all of our family live across the country. With two VIPs in late pregnancy and 2 other VIPs unable to fly for other reasons we changed our location to my hometown. Our lovely spring wedding didn't happen because of an unusually long winter. All our friends and family were there though.

chibiyui

I mean, we had a "vision" but we didn't like, shaft guests to achieve it.

okulew29

I have one, and so far it seems acheivable... I booked a more "rustic" venue (not burlap and lace, but gorgeous wood beams type) and I want a nice "fall themed" day... The biggest part of this vision is the seated meal with ample booze for all those important to enjoy before we dance though!

amelisha

I've never had a vision in my life and I'm not starting now. I got as far as "maybe I imagine a regular officiant and not Elvis," and other than that as long as everyone is full of food and booze I'm happy.

beethery

I also had to give up my vision of having Latrice Royale officiate the ceremony as I don't think it would be feasible to get her certified in my state.

lc07

CMGragain said:

I keep reading that brides have a "wedding vision".  I don't get it.  At my daughter's wedding, she decided that guests were the most important thing to her.  She would rather have inexpensive invitations, flowers, cake, and time of day (morning ceremony) than to cut her guest list.  There was no magic vision in her mind, except she insisted on a church wedding.
How many of you ladies had a wedding vision?  Did you achieve it?  What cuts did you have to make?

Your daughter had a vision. She envisioned a church wedding and specific people and a guest experiences being the most important things to her. I think we all have specific things that are more important to us than other things. And that's totally okay. A good host just is sure to put the needs of his or her guests first. Which I think is something all of us who post regularly endorse.

theartistformerlyknownas

I don't think having a vision and treating your guests well are mutually exclusive concepts. My/our vision included the overall aesthetic, level of hospitality, and what we wanted our bank account to look like the next day. All were achieved without sacrifice. There was no either/or.

beethery

lolo883 said:

I don't think having a vision and treating your guests well are mutually exclusive concepts. My/our vision included the overall aesthetic, level of hospitality, and what we wanted our bank account to look like the next day. All were achieved without sacrifice. There was no either/or.

This. All day.

You can have a style vision or whatever but it is ENTIRELY possible to make it happen and also treat your guests right.

jdluvr06

I think everyone has some form of a vision when they start planning their wedding. That is pretty normal.

steph861

The word "vision" makes me want to vomit. I don't think there's anything wrong with knowing what you want*, but when I hear that particular word all I can think of are bratty SSs.

*I think most brides (myself included) have some sort of vision. It's the word I dislike, not the concept (though I dislike the word because it makes me think of people who take the concept too far).

novella1186

Seriously, my vision is that all my guests have a great time. They'll have good food, good music, and good drinks. Plenty of it. And they won't have to open their wallets for a thing. I even booked a trolley to go from the hotel to the venue and back so that they can drink without worrying about driving if that's what they wanna do.

My vision is that it's a big fun party for everyone, and that everyone feels welcome and well taken care of. When you're at my party (whether it's 20 ppl for a bbq, 10 ppl for our Halloween costume shindig, or 120 ppl for our wedding day) you're my cherished guest, and you are going to feel as loved and appreciated as you truly are, via expensive vodka and delicious food, and comfort, and enjoyment. If you all have a good time, then I have a good time, and then it's a fucking awesome day. Fuck flowers and decorations and all that other nonsense, that crap plays second fiddle to the important shit.

Stepping down off my soap box now.

holyguacamole79

Our biggest "vision" was to have a Catholic wedding to start our marriage in prayer. And a joy-filled day that included laughter and love. Our "vision" and the comfort of our guests were not mutually exclusive.

larrygaga

My vision is that my FI and I get married, it's classy and elegant and everyone gets drunk enough that classy and elegant doesn't matter

blabla89

I guess I kind of have one, afternoon garden party. But I didn't go all out to make the wedding fit my "vision" or even have that idea going into it. We picked the venue, the time of day and planned all the major things (with guests in mind of course) and then realized that's what it's going to be like...so now I'm picking out details to fit into that vision.

natswild

My vision is to have the ceremony in the streetcar by the lake, and that everyone has a great time

Aray82

I had a vision of celebrating with our families and being on the dance floor for the whole night, which did happen! I also had a vision of how I wanted my dress to look with my hair and veil...but that did not happen so much. It could've with the wig I'd gotten, but my vision of wanting to dance and not worry about the wig slipping or getting itchy trumped my vision of the perfect look. And I think the look I ended up with was pretty darn perfect after all

lovesclimbing

We wanted dancing and we wanted outdoors.  We ended up getting married in December in Alaska, so outdoors was out of the question. (It was -15ish on our wedding day, but yes, we still took a few photos outside, just us.)  And we couldn't afford a second venue for our reception, and the church we got married in didn't allow dancing, so we didn't have dancing.

Blergbot

Classy but fun, and to make sure my guests were well taken care of, of course. I think of it more as a "vibe" than a vision.

AddieCake

I think of this the same way I think of "theme." A lot of people here freak out if someone wants a theme. I had a theme. Plenty of people manage to have themes and not have their weddings be saturated in it or it looking like a birthday party. Same is true for a vision. Most people have a picture in their minds about what they want their weddings to look like, and as LoLo said, that doesn't mean you are putting your vision over your guests. Sometimes we get too hung up on words and semantics here at TK.

southernbelle0915

Our vision was throwing a party that ends up being one of those weddings people remember as really fun and where they felt well dined, boozed, musiced, danced, etc. We wanted really nice stuff, but a relaxed atmosphere that didn't feel stuffy. We still have people tell us it was one of the best weddings they've been to, that it was an awesome party, that the food was great, etc. Comments like that from our guests WERE our vision, so it feels really good when we hear that.

Really what saved the day is that none of my BMs had hot pink hair.

AddieCake

southernbelle0915 said:

Our vision was throwing a party that ends up being one of those weddings people remember as really fun and where they felt well dined, boozed, musiced, danced, etc. We wanted really nice stuff, but a relaxed atmosphere that didn't feel stuffy. We still have people tell us it was one of the best weddings they've been to, that it was an awesome party, that the food was great, etc. Comments like that from our guests WERE our vision, so it feels really good when we hear that. Really what saved the day is that none of my BMs had hot pink hair.

Yeah, you were lucky there!

climbingsingle

I think every couple has a vision. We certainly did. The whole vision thing has gotten a bad rep because of SS that like to use it to dictate things like the same hairdo for their brideslaves and no seating at their ceremony.

Our vision was having a great day at our gorgeous venue with our loved ones, with lots of food and alcohol and dancing. My vision included getting married in the gardens and thankfully the weather cooperated. If the weather had been cold or raining, oh well for the vision!

theartistformerlyknownas

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I think every couple has a vision. We certainly did. The whole vision thing has gotten a bad rep because of SS that like to use it to dictate things like the same hairdo for their brideslaves and no seating at their ceremony.

Our vision was having a great day at our gorgeous venue with our loved ones, with lots of food and alcohol and dancing. My vision included getting married in the gardens and thankfully the weather cooperated. If the weather had been cold or raining, oh well for the vision!

And if you had forced your guests to suffer through an outdoor ceremony in the rain, it would have been because you were a horrible person, not because you had a vision.

climbingsingle

lolo883 said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

I think every couple has a vision. We certainly did. The whole vision thing has gotten a bad rep because of SS that like to use it to dictate things like the same hairdo for their brideslaves and no seating at their ceremony.

Our vision was having a great day at our gorgeous venue with our loved ones, with lots of food and alcohol and dancing. My vision included getting married in the gardens and thankfully the weather cooperated. If the weather had been cold or raining, oh well for the vision!

And if you had forced your guests to suffer through an outdoor ceremony in the rain, it would have been because you were a horrible person, not because you had a vision.

Exactly.