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Any thoughts on this article?

Aray82Aray82 member
First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
edited November 2014 in Chit Chat
I haven't seen a thread yet about it so I thought I'd post it. On the one hand, we see brides with this mentality on the boards a lot...but I also feel like this is kind of old news. And, there's a lot of reasons for getting involved in the planning and having your wedding be a big event. For us, it was having a large family, wanting our guests to be well-fed and entertained, and celebrating after what was a really tough summer of health issues for me. Also, buying something beautiful to wear is fun. I can't remember the last Disney princess movie I saw, but I loved shopping for and wearing my dress. And you best believe I'll be getting an awesome dress to wear for my PhD graduation this summer as well! It's possible to get psyched about the dress, but not get "princess-vision" crazy. 


That said...I was actually engaged before starting to add flower arrangements to my Pintrest (which btw helped out a lot when I couldn't travel and had to do a FaceTime consult with the florist). 



So yeah. That's my two cents :) What's yours?

ETA: Paragraphs and semi-colon removal

Re: Any thoughts on this article?

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    It says "Page Not Found" :(


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    Remove the semicolon at the end, and it will load.
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    I don't agree with some of the article, and it's grasping at straws in some places. Sure, weddings sell, which is why weddings are so expensive in the first place. People will pay big bucks for a fancy dress and flowers and venues. 


    "In 2013, 37 percent of the brides who visited TheKnot.com did not have a fiancé."
    Um, they are not brides if they don't have a fiance? I first signed up for the knot when my sister got married, and I was MOH. There is no rule that you have to be a bride to be on this site, and it doesn't mean you are actively planning your wedding without a groom.

    To be honest, I knew I would walk down the aisle to Pachebel's cannon, I always loved that song, and it's a common processional song.  I also started doing some research on venues prior to getting engaged. We were on the verge of getting engaged, and it never hurts to have as much info as possible. I never made any official plans though until I was engaged. 

    I do agree that people place too much emphasis on the wedding, and not the marriage. 
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    http://www.nytimes.com/2014/11/23/fashion/weddings/chasing-the-fairy-tale-wedding.html

    I managed to find it through the website itself. Yeah, I definitely don't think a wedding dress is the most important dress I'll wear. Then again, I don't necessarily see my wedding day as the most important day of my life either. Like you said, I'm definitely going to wear a nice dress to my graduation- And that will surely be a very important occasion. 


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    I don't agree with some of the article, and it's grasping at straws in some places. Sure, weddings sell, which is why weddings are so expensive in the first place. People will pay big bucks for a fancy dress and flowers and venues. 


    "In 2013, 37 percent of the brides who visited TheKnot.com did not have a fiancé."
    Um, they are not brides if they don't have a fiance? I first signed up for the knot when my sister got married, and I was MOH. There is no rule that you have to be a bride to be on this site, and it doesn't mean you are actively planning your wedding without a groom.

    To be honest, I knew I would walk down the aisle to Pachebel's cannon, I always loved that song, and it's a common processional song.  I also started doing some research on venues prior to getting engaged. We were on the verge of getting engaged, and it never hurts to have as much info as possible. I never made any official plans though until I was engaged. 

    I do agree that people place too much emphasis on the wedding, and not the marriage. 
    I know! And some of us have husbands but come back for the company and for helping brides who are starting out their planning :) I saw this article first on facebook, where my friend and everyone else commenting on it then started bashing TK...and then sending people to wedding bee and weddingwire! Ugh! So I chimed in with a caveat that sometimes those "laid back" suggestions can involve compromising on the comfort of your guests and asking your bridal party and family to do a lot of work.
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    The quote in there regarding social status as a married woman.... I see that a lot in my area. People I went to college with, people I work with... getting married is considered an achievement, and those that don't achieve get met with disdain or pity. 
    Not everyone though... Me, some of my closest friends... we have other achievements. The wedding is just a party to celebrate love with our loved ones. 
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    The quote in there regarding social status as a married woman.... I see that a lot in my area. People I went to college with, people I work with... getting married is considered an achievement, and those that don't achieve get met with disdain or pity. 
    Not everyone though... Me, some of my closest friends... we have other achievements. The wedding is just a party to celebrate love with our loved ones. 


    Stuck in box: That's exactly how DH and I saw the wedding too: a party to celebrate with our loved ones and have them witness our joining. We spent a lot of time planning because we wanted them to have a good time and we got married in an area of the country where things needed to be booked way in advance. The social status thing is still there, to an extent in my area, even when women have other achievements. I did notice that DH's family tended to ask me about how wedding planning was going, and him about how his dissertation was going. I mean, I'm happy to talk about wedding planning but hey, I'm getting the same degree he is!
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    Some of the article resonated with me, and some made me frustrated.  

    I know I had plenty of wedding dreams.  I knew what song I wanted to have as our recessional, I knew what church where I wanted to get married, and I knew what priest I wanted to have as an officiant.  I guess for me, though - I was always open to the idea of not marrying (until I met my husband).  At 32, I knew it was a possibility, and I had come to terms with that.  

    But the idea that a wedding dress is the most important dress a woman wears does bother me.  I remember the dress I wore to my college graduation.  I remember the suit that I wore to my first job interviews.  I remember the dress I wore to my Goddaughter's baptism.  Those are all important days of my life.

    I think the biggest issue with our culture is the obsession over the wedding and not the marriage.  That is my biggest beef, and advice I share with any couple - focus on the marriage and not the wedding.
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    I can't relate to the article at all. I didn't start thinking about my wedding until I was engaged. I always wanted a small, private ceremony and I certainly do NOT think getting married was "fulfilling a dream!" I love my DH dearly, but he is not some goal to enhance my status or some milestone to hit to obtain some goal.

     

     







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    I have many thoughts about this article, and most of them are exceedingly unpleasant. 
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    I can't relate to the article at all. I didn't start thinking about my wedding until I was engaged. I always wanted a small, private ceremony and I certainly do NOT think getting married was "fulfilling a dream!" I love my DH dearly, but he is not some goal to enhance my status or some milestone to hit to obtain some goal.

     


    I just felt like it could've been written 30 years ago...
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    We didn't even start looking at wedding planning or ideas until after a year of engagement. We were committed to each other and that was enough. There were other "achievements" as it were that we wanted to finish first. Like being financially stable, getting out of debt, and graduating from college.
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