Posting pics of the bride before she walks down aisle

climbingsingle

So, I'm super against unplugged weddings. And I loved how many pictures our guests shared  on social media during and after our wedding. They took such great pictures! But a situation occurred this weekend that I thought was weird, and maybe a little wrong. 

A woman I know got married on Saturday. Apparently one of the groomsmen had taken a picture of her, and another of her and the groom. His posted the pictures on Facebook about 2 hours before she walked down the aisle. When I saw the pictures pop up in my newsfeed, I was really surprised. After about an hour, I noticed that the pictures had been removed, I'm guessing at the request of the B or G. 

So what do we think about posting pics of the bride before she even gets down the aisle? I think it's wrong, unless you obviously get her permission first. I personally didn't want everyone to see me before I walked down the aisle. H and I were outside taking pics, and when guests starting showing up, I went to hide in the bridal suite. 

cupcait927

Nope, not okay. This is one instance where I think a bride has every right to say "it's my day, I would appreciate if you wouldn't post pictures of me before the ceremony".

blabla89

If it were me, I would be livid, and I certainly wouldn't do that to another bride (or groom for that matter).

melbenso

Agreed.  Unless OKed by the bride and groom, it is rude to post pictures of them before the end of the wedding ceremony.  Super glad I had guests with manners and none of them posted pictures until at least the reception, with most waiting until the next day to post.

novella1186

Not ok. I would be really mad. It would be one thing if people had already seen me, but I don't want photos to be all over facebook before I even walk out for the ceremony. Rude. And pretty invasive, IMO. 

Also, what if the B&G didn't do a first look, and then the G accidentally saw her photo on facebook beforehand?! That would suck 

abbyj700

Yeah - that's a big no-no. Just imagine if that would have been how the groom saw the bride for the first time- via a FB post! Ewww...

birdybride2014

I would be so upset! H and I did not see each other before the ceremony and if anyone had posted any of the pictures we were taking in the bridal suite beforehand I would have cried! Other than that I am so happy people took pictures because they have been so fun to look at while waiting for our photographers pics.

loro929

abbyj700 said:

Yeah - that's a big no-no. Just imagine if that would have been how the groom saw the bride for the first time- via a FB post! Ewww...

Eek. This. Somethings are just meant to be kept private.

climbingsingle

They did have a first look. One of the pictures he posted was from that I think. Which, like, why were you creeping on their first look? The picture was take from pretty far away. 

cupcait927

ClimbingBrideNY said:

They did have a first look. One of the pictures he posted was from that I think. Which, like, why were you creeping on their first look? The picture was take from pretty far away. 

My two best friends were creeping on my first look (they were standing on the second story deck while FI and I were taking pictures on the dock of the lake house we were at) but they knew better than to post those pics before the ceremony. I don't think they even took any, they were just enjoying seeing H and I. That's okay. Creeping to take pictures and post them to FB? Bad judgment call.

thisismynickname2

People do a lot of dumb crap and I think this takes the cake. It's nothing but selfish-  look at me, I'm the first person to post a pic of a bride!

How does anyone not understand that the moment the bride walks down the aisle is special? Even if a couple does a first look, the walk is the first look for the vast majority of the guests. It's a dick move to post it earlier.  

novella1186

thisismynickname said:

People do a lot of dumb crap and I think this takes the cake. It's nothing but selfish-  look at me, I'm the first person to post a pic of a bride!

How does anyone not understand that the moment the bride walks down the aisle is special? Even if a couple does a first look, the walk is the first look for the vast majority of the guests. It's a dick move to post it earlier.  

Yep! This is exactly what I think, but you put it into words far better than I did lol 

beethery

It's very much a thing that would get a big CAN YOU FUCKING NOT????? from me.

theartistformerlyknownas

I would have been livid. I didn't want any more people to see me before I walked down the aisle than absolutely necessary.

I was cranky with my BIL's girlfriend for bringing some rando friend of hers up into my dressing room. I've only met this girl a few times; I didn't want her there! They and SIL were all snapping stupid selfies while I was trying to get dressed. My sister tried to make subtle hints for the GF and friend to leave but they didn't take them. Urgh. But this was H's family's club, and GF has been around for 4 years, and walks around like she owns the place. I'm sure she didn't see anything wrong with it, but I hated that this person I don't even know saw me before my own mother did.

KatieinBkln

I don't know how mad I would be in practice, but the principle rankles the hell out of me. I think the offender would probably receive a "SERIOUSLY, THO?" from me with my best "I'm disappointed in you and disgusted with you all at once" face. Like, ultimately it isn't a huge deal (there will be many, better, pics later) but like, don't be an asshole, "friend."

climbingsingle

lolo883 said:

I would have been livid. I didn't want any more people to see me before I walked down the aisle than absolutely necessary.

I was cranky with my BIL's girlfriend for bringing some rando friend of hers up into my dressing room. I've only met this girl a few times; I didn't want her there! They and SIL were all snapping stupid selfies while I was trying to get dressed. My sister tried to make subtle hints for the GF and friend to leave but they didn't take them. Urgh. But this was H's family's club, and GF has been around for 4 years, and walks around like she owns the place. I'm sure she didn't see anything wrong with it, but I hated that this person I don't even know saw me before my own mother did.

Oh god. We accidentally left the door open to the bridal suite. It wast just me, MOH, my mom and MIL. And my hairdresser who is one of my best friends. MIL's cousin walked by and saw us in there and came in. 

She then asked me NO JOKE 75 fucking questions. "How long will it take to walk to the ceremony spot? Is it hot out? Is there shade? How long will the ceremony be? How long is the processional? What kind of food is there going to be at the cocktail hour? What kind of wine will they have?" It went on and on. And then she asked if my fucking hairdresser could do her hair!! Like yeah, OK, she'll just squeeze you right in before me. I gave MIL the death look and she thankfully came up with an excuse to her cousin out of there. But really lady? It's the morning of my wedding and I'm a ball of stress. I don't need you shouting questions at me! 

SmileDamnit

Rude. DH and I did a first look and we greeted our guests before as they arrived so everyone saw me before we walked down the isle, but that doesn't mean I would've appreciated broadcasting photos to the internet world before we even got the hitchin' started. We had a very small, intimate ceremony for a reason. Once the deed was done, post your little heart out but have a little tact in the meantime.

lovegood90

Yes, I find this so tacky! I'm all for guests taking pictures whenever they want, but to share it on social media like that before their wedding even started? I don't get how anyone could think that's an ok thing to do?

beethery

It's that FIRST!!!!! mentality.

holyguacamole79

dcbride86

I'm not doing a 1st look, so if FI saw me in my wedding gown for the first time on FACEBOOK, I would be furious and sad.  The one thing I'm most looking forward to at the wedding is seeing each other for the first time when I walk down the aisle.  It would ruin that special moment for me

princessleia22

I agree.  I also take it further and think that the Bride & Groom should be the first ones to post any wedding photo of them online.  What if they didn't want photos posted?  It's their event, let them make the first move. I knew my sister would want to post online right away for my wedding (she posted my engagement to Facebook before I did... and before we told DH's mom so she found out online), and that people would be anxious to see photos, so we did post one photo early during the reception.  At that point, we didn't care if other people posted photos because we had the chance to announce our wedding.

I almost made this mistake over the summer with my sister's wedding.  All the girls were getting hair done and posting salon photos onto Facebook. There were individual & group photos. I posted one that had my sister in it, but immediately (like within 15 seconds) took it off, thinking she may not want anyone (especially the groom) even seeing her hairdo.  The group photos, with her in them, got posted after the wedding, but we did very good at keeping her out of all photos posted pre-wedding. 

blabla89

princessleia22 said:

I agree.  I also take it further and think that the Bride & Groom should be the first ones to post any wedding photo of them online.  What if they didn't want photos posted?  It's their event, let them make the first move. I knew my sister would want to post online right away for my wedding (she posted my engagement to Facebook before I did... and before we told DH's mom so she found out online), and that people would be anxious to see photos, so we did post one photo early during the reception.  At that point, we didn't care if other people posted photos because we had the chance to announce our wedding.

I almost made this mistake over the summer with my sister's wedding.  All the girls were getting hair done and posting salon photos onto Facebook. There were individual & group photos. I posted one that had my sister in it, but immediately (like within 15 seconds) took it off, thinking she may not want anyone (especially the groom) even seeing her hairdo.  The group photos, with her in them, got posted after the wedding, but we did very good at keeping her out of all photos posted pre-wedding. 

Agree with this. Obviously I wouldn't tell my guests what to do, but I would really prefer to have it this way.

PrettyGirlLost

ClimbingBrideNY said:

So, I'm super against unplugged weddings. And I loved how many pictures our guests shared  on social media during and after our wedding. They took such great pictures! But a situation occurred this weekend that I thought was weird, and maybe a little wrong. 

A woman I know got married on Saturday. Apparently one of the groomsmen had taken a picture of her, and another of her and the groom. His posted the pictures on Facebook about 2 hours before she walked down the aisle. When I saw the pictures pop up in my newsfeed, I was really surprised. After about an hour, I noticed that the pictures had been removed, I'm guessing at the request of the B or G. 

So what do we think about posting pics of the bride before she even gets down the aisle? I think it's wrong, unless you obviously get her permission first. I personally didn't want everyone to see me before I walked down the aisle. H and I were outside taking pics, and when guests starting showing up, I went to hide in the bridal suite. 

What was she doing dressed and ready to go two hours before the actual ceremony?!  I didn't put my dress on until about 30mins before the ceremony. . . I didn't want to get it trashed beforehand ><

Speaking of which, I need to call hte bridal shop and make an appointment to have it preserved.

ETA:  Oh, they were doing a  first look?  Who the hell creeps another person's 1st look >< SMH

vulpiepop

Really rude and absolutely not ok unless the bride and groom said it was ok beforehand. My family holds to the belief that it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her dress before the ceremony. If someone took a picture of me in my dress and posted it on Facebook for my groom to see before the ceremony, that would be a friendship-ending move for me. 

I'd get all sorts of crap from the family, my groom would be upset because he wanted to see me in my dress for the first time when I walk down the aisle, and I might actually cry sad tears. It'd be like planning a nice surprise for FI and then having a 3rd party take pictures of it and take a hose to the thing I've been working on before I had the chance to surprise him. Surprise, that a-hole destroyed it.

theartistformerlyknownas

princessleia22 said:

I agree.  I also take it further and think that the Bride & Groom should be the first ones to post any wedding photo of them online.  What if they didn't want photos posted?  It's their event, let them make the first move. I knew my sister would want to post online right away for my wedding (she posted my engagement to Facebook before I did... and before we told DH's mom so she found out online), and that people would be anxious to see photos, so we did post one photo early during the reception.  At that point, we didn't care if other people posted photos because we had the chance to announce our wedding.

I almost made this mistake over the summer with my sister's wedding.  All the girls were getting hair done and posting salon photos onto Facebook. There were individual & group photos. I posted one that had my sister in it, but immediately (like within 15 seconds) took it off, thinking she may not want anyone (especially the groom) even seeing her hairdo.  The group photos, with her in them, got posted after the wedding, but we did very good at keeping her out of all photos posted pre-wedding. 

I disagree with this. As long as it's after the fact, I have no problem. Other people posting pictures was the only way we saw any for 2 months! I loved seeing them pop up the day after the wedding.

I saw my wedding the same as any other get-together/holiday/party with friends and family - I'm happy I hosted a fun enough time for them to want to share their experience with their friends and family. Who am I to try and stifle that? I don't say "hey, I know you really enjoyed the Christmas dinner I made you, but don't post that selfie we took together until I do." My wedding was no different.

ETF boxes

bethsmiles

I agree that it's pretty sucky to post a picture of the bride before she's even walked down the aisle but I think if you don't want any pictures of the event posted at all you shouldn't have invited any guests. You don't invite people to any other type of event and expect to be able to dictate if they post pictures or not. 

climbingsingle

I had people posting pictures after the ceremony. It honestly didn't bother me at all. I thought it was great. 

Aray82

I asked for this--or rather, demanded it when my sisters then said "OK but how about just a piece of the dress?" It was my one and only request aside from the BM dress and being there for the ceremony. I think that's different than telling your guests how to behave during the ceremony itself.

smalfrie19

My sister actually posted a selfie with me planted on the floor of the bridal suite. We had already done first looks by that point so id didn't bother me. 

The only other pictures that were posted were from our photogs FB page at like one in the morning after the ceremony. 

princessleia22

lolo883 said:

princessleia22 said:

I agree.  I also take it further and think that the Bride & Groom should be the first ones to post any wedding photo of them online.  What if they didn't want photos posted?  It's their event, let them make the first move. I knew my sister would want to post online right away for my wedding (she posted my engagement to Facebook before I did... and before we told DH's mom so she found out online), and that people would be anxious to see photos, so we did post one photo early during the reception.  At that point, we didn't care if other people posted photos because we had the chance to announce our wedding.

I almost made this mistake over the summer with my sister's wedding.  All the girls were getting hair done and posting salon photos onto Facebook. There were individual & group photos. I posted one that had my sister in it, but immediately (like within 15 seconds) took it off, thinking she may not want anyone (especially the groom) even seeing her hairdo.  The group photos, with her in them, got posted after the wedding, but we did very good at keeping her out of all photos posted pre-wedding. 

I disagree with this. As long as it's after the fact, I have no problem. Other people posting pictures was the only way we saw any for 2 months! I loved seeing them pop up the day after the wedding.

I saw my wedding the same as any other get-together/holiday/party with friends and family - I'm happy I hosted a fun enough time for them to want to share their experience with their friends and family. Who am I to try and stifle that? I don't say "hey, I know you really enjoyed the Christmas dinner I made you, but don't post that selfie we took together until I do." My wedding was no different.

ETF boxes

I'm not saying that guests shouldn't post photos at all.  I'm just saying that the bride and groom should be allowed to announce their marriage online and share their event before everyone gets to.  I never said anything to anyone else about not posting photos of my wedding... and I wouldn't have been upset if they had.  I had a very small wedding and felt that the first photos shown to our family and friends that we didn't invite should come from us, not from one of the other guests.

And I know when I've attended other peoples weddings, I've always felt weird about posting wedding photos online before they've posted anything about it.  I just feel that they should have the opportunity to do so first.  But after that, I love seeing everyone's candid photos.