Bridal party invites

agenevieve22016

I'm already having enough issues keeping my list down I'm cutting out family members. Do I have to have my single BM or GM have a plus 1??No one is getting a plus 1 unless it's a significant relationship. All the friends in the wedding party will already have people or family they know at the wedding.

agenevieve22016

I've gone to weddings I wasn't invited a date. But significant as in not just dating being in a serious relationship

novella1186

If someone is in a relationship, that is not a +1. They are invited together as a social unit. You do not get to determine whether or not their relationship is significant. That's going to lead to some hurt feelings, and people might get mad at you. 

If people are single, like not dating anyone, not in a relationship at all, then no you do not need to give them a +1. But as scribe said, it's a nice gesture for your WP. 

agenevieve22016

If you have been dating for a month then to me it's not significant . But really just if these people are single is what I'm asking do I have to plus one them.

agenevieve22016

I guess I just was unsure because I have one BM and a GM who date people and aren't involved with one speficfally

MyNameIsNot

You can't put a timeline on relationships.  If you asked this BM or GM if they had a boy/girlfriend, would they say yes or no?  It's that simple.  

Trying to make cut offs or judging the seriousness of someone else's relationship is a recipe for disaster.

agenevieve22016

Yea good point thank everyone

climbingsingle

My husband and I got engaged after 5 months. So 3 months in, we were already pretty serious. Please don't judge people's relationships. If they consider themselves in a relationship, they need to be invited with their SO. 

MairePoppy

agenevieve22016 said:

If you have been dating for a month then to me it's not significant . But really just if these people are single is what I'm asking do I have to plus one them.

My DDs and SILs first official 'date was to a wedding. DDs college friend called her last minute to encourage her to bring a friend to his wedding, since she would be driving dark country roads at night. She invited a new member of her social group, he said yes, and the rest is history.

If your friends consider themselves to be in relationships, then you should be guided by that.

jacques27

agenevieve22016 said:

If you have been dating for a month then to me it's not significant . But really just if these people are single is what I'm asking do I have to plus one them.

My coworker married her husband after dating for one month.  They just celebrated their 41st wedding anniversary.  Why do you get to be the arbiter of what is "significant" for other people?  Worry about the significance of your own relationship and let your friends and family determine the significance of their own.  If they are in a relationship, regardless of how significant it is to you, their significant other needs to be invited.

Truly single people do not need to be extended a +1, but it's a nice gesture.

AddieCake

I always think it is a nice gesture to give single WP members a date option.

NowIamMrsKlein

My FI and I said 'I love yous'  just before the 2 month mark. We knew by the 2nd date that it was something special and serious. I think both of us would have been offended if we were not invited as a social unit to an event because the host didn't believe our relationship was serious. 

You cannot be the judge of what is a 'significant relationship.' If the person is in a relationship then they get to come together.

If they are truly single then they do not need to be extended a +1.

augsum15

It's your wedding, you can choose who you want to invite. No one should tell you otherwise unless they plan on chipping in to your budget. Put the names of the guests invited on the RSVP's and don't include a spot for "plus 1". Their name and a yes or no check box. 

sarawifenow

augsum15 said:

It's your wedding, you can choose who you want to invite. No one should tell you otherwise unless they plan on chipping in to your budget. Put the names of the guests invited on the RSVP's and don't include a spot for "plus 1". Their name and a yes or no check box. 

This is terrible advice.

mikenberger

augsum15 said:

It's your wedding, you can choose who you want to invite. No one should tell you otherwise unless they plan on chipping in to your budget. Put the names of the guests invited on the RSVP's and don't include a spot for "plus 1". Their name and a yes or no check box. 

How about no?

Knottie22970454

Honey this is your day... I am not including +1 on my invites either unless your married.. If you cant file taxes with them they are not your plus one.

Viczaesar

Knottie22970454 said:

Honey this is your day... I am not including +1 on my invites either unless your married.. If you cant file taxes with them they are not your plus one.

Congratulations, you're giving terrible advice.

[Deleted User]

Knottie22970454 said:

Honey this is your day... I am not including +1 on my invites either unless your married.. If you cant file taxes with them they are not your plus one.

Yeah, that's super awesome.  My boyfriend and I have dated for 6 years, lived together for 5 years, bought a house together this September, and I do not have a ring on my finger (I chose the house over the ring).  You're obviously a very loving friend if you wouldn't invite us together to share in the love you have for your FH.  And what about the couple we just bought the house from?  Lovely men of retirement age who are moving to California after living together in this house for over 30 years, but until recently weren't legally allowed to marry in our state.  They also don't get invited to your wedding together?  Fuck that.  I don't like you.

mikenberger

Knottie22970454 said:

Honey this is your day... I am not including +1 on my invites either unless your married.. If you cant file taxes with them they are not your plus one.

It is your day, yes. But it is not carte blanche to be a total dick and completely disregard someone's relationship because they don't file taxes jointly. Wtf is that? You do realize that people who are not married can file jointly still? That's a step into being common law. But still, not married in the typical meaning of the name.

And *you're FFS. If you're going to be rude, at least be grammatically correct.

misshart00

Knottie22970454 said:

Honey this is your day... I am not including +1 on my invites either unless your married.. If you cant file taxes with them they are not your plus one.

You realize you wouldn't be invited to your own wedding, right?

climbingsingle

Knottie22970454 said:

Honey this is your day... I am not including +1 on my invites either unless your married.. If you cant file taxes with them they are not your plus one.

This is hilarious. If you attended your own wedding, you wouldn't be allowed to bring your FI.

lyndausvi

add me to the list of people who got serious right away.  We were living together about a week after meeting.  Engaged a few months later.

lc07

misshart00 said:

Knottie22970454 said:

Honey this is your day... I am not including +1 on my invites either unless your married.. If you cant file taxes with them they are not your plus one.

You realize you wouldn't be invited to your own wedding, right?

Agreed. This makes me all sorts of ragey. Mostly for my friends in same-sex relationships that cannot marry and file taxes together. If I didn't have to worry about the banhammer I would have some seriously choice words for you, Knumbers.

lovegood90

lc07 said:

misshart00 said:

Knottie22970454 said:

Honey this is your day... I am not including +1 on my invites either unless your married.. If you cant file taxes with them they are not your plus one.

You realize you wouldn't be invited to your own wedding, right?

Agreed. This makes me all sorts of ragey. Mostly for my friends in same-sex relationships that cannot marry and file taxes together. If I didn't have to worry about the banhammer I would have some seriously choice words for you, Knumbers.

How about this: Welcome, knottie#####. I don't like you.

lc07

lovegood90 said:

misshart00 said:

Knottie22970454 said:

Honey this is your day... I am not including +1 on my invites either unless your married.. If you cant file taxes with them they are not your plus one.

You realize you wouldn't be invited to your own wedding, right?

Agreed. This makes me all sorts of ragey. Mostly for my friends in same-sex relationships that cannot marry and file taxes together. If I didn't have to worry about the banhammer I would have some seriously choice words for you, Knumbers.

How about this: Welcome, knottie#####. I don't like you.

Not strong enough.

redoryx

misshart00 said:

Knottie22970454 said:

Honey this is your day... I am not including +1 on my invites either unless your married.. If you cant file taxes with them they are not your plus one.

You realize you wouldn't be invited to your own wedding, right?

*mic drop*

KatWAG

Knottie22970454 said:

Honey this is your day... I am not including +1 on my invites either unless your  you're married.. If you cant file taxes with them they are not your plus one.

You realize that you yourself dont qualify to bring a date (ie your fi/H) then right? doesnt that seem a little wrong to you?

edit: damn it misshart beat me to it.

AddieCake

Knottie22970454 said:

Honey this is your day... I am not including +1 on my invites either unless your married.. If you cant file taxes with them they are not your plus one.

WTF?

plainjane0415

After a month of dating (now FI) I was invited to his sister's wedding. So there's that.

sames52915

We have a similar situation. We had decided no +1s because we already have a much higher guest list than we want, plus I don't want people that I have to meet the day of my wedding and be in pictures that I will never see again. There is only 1 bridesmaid and 1 groomsman who are single, and we have talked about letting them be the only ones invited with guests, but I honestly don't think they would even bring anyone unless between now & then they start relationships. I know both of them are the type of people who would rather have a great time with friends than worry about someone who doesn't know anyone and having to entertain them all night.
The only people who are being invited with "guests" are people that we know have been dating for a significant amount of time/engaged/married etc. As PPs have said, we are considering them as couples, not as someone invited w/ a guest. I agree that you cant judge a relationship based off the amount of time, however we are on a strict budget and also don't want 300 people at our wedding. We are getting married 5/29/15 so what we agreed on is any couples that have been together since this yr are obviously invited together. If any of our guests start relationships after we send out invitations and request to bring their SO we will deal with it at the time, and do our best to accomodate them

plainjane0415

sames52915 said:

We have a similar situation. We had decided no +1s because we already have a much higher guest list than we want, plus I don't want people that I have to meet the day of my wedding and be in pictures that I will never see again. There is only 1 bridesmaid and 1 groomsman who are single, and we have talked about letting them be the only ones invited with guests, but I honestly don't think they would even bring anyone unless between now & then they start relationships. I know both of them are the type of people who would rather have a great time with friends than worry about someone who doesn't know anyone and having to entertain them all night.
The only people who are being invited with "guests" are people that we know have been dating for a significant amount of time/engaged/married etc. As PPs have said, we are considering them as couples, not as someone invited w/ a guest. I agree that you cant judge a relationship based off the amount of time, however we are on a strict budget and also don't want 300 people at our wedding. We are getting married 5/29/15 so what we agreed on is any couples that have been together since this yr are obviously invited together. If any of our guests start relationships after we send out invitations and request to bring their SO we will deal with it at the time, and do our best to accomodate them

Please don't do this. If one of your guests has a SO no matter how long they have been dating, you need to invite them.  You don't get to judge the seriousness of someone's relationship.  How would you feel if you were still dating your FI and he got invited to a wedding and you didn't?