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A sleeping question,...

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Re: A sleeping question,...

  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer

    Yes, we do... and over time we've found a schedule that works for both of us.  I tend to need more sleep than DH, but DH needs to be at work about 2 hours before me.  So, we go to bed at same time, usually in bed around 9ish and asleep around 10ish.  Then DH wakes up at 5:30ish for work, while I stay in bed another 2 hours. 

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  • buttercup1958buttercup1958 Blue Smokey Mountains
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    We have a similar schedule so most nights we go to bed together. There have been times I stay up later and other times he stays up later. But we love sleeping and cuddling together.
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    vikinganna87
  • When we were both still in university, I would usually stay up later than him. Now that we're both working 9-5, we both go to bed around 10:30.
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  • We hardly ever go to bed together- maybe once a week? DH is a total night owl, and between gaming, work and class work, it's pretty common for him to stay up until 1 or so. I'm in bed at 11PM pretty much like clockwork.

    We've lived together for over three years and I really don't have a problem falling asleep one way or the other. I will wake up though around 2:30 or 3 if he's not in bed yet and encourage him to join me (especially as he usually gets up before me on weekdays).

  • I have to leave for work at least 2 hours before DH needs to be up every day so I end up going to bed early, DH tucks me in, then he watches tv or plays video games and comes to bed later. Since we rarely go to bed at the same time it is actually really difficult for me to fall asleep with him there.

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  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl The Cold North member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    We're pretty usual for going to bed at the same time.  He's often asleep on the couch though which I finish whatever we're watching.  He does get up at least an hour before me though, and he know's he has to say goodbye before he leaves.  He never wanted to, but I've always insisted on it.  He thinks I'll wake up and not fall back asleep (like him), but I'm a professional sleeper.  No problems for me.  

    On weekends though, he wakes up super early and surfs the net/listens to podcasts until I wake up.  I tell him he can get up if he wants to, but he'd rather hang out with sleepy me.  

  • FI and I have very different schedules, so I am usually in bed before he's even gotten home on weeknights. On Friday and Saturday nights, I generally try to stay up with him and then we go to bed at the same time, but I tend to get tired early so sometimes I'll fall asleep on the couch without meaning to.

    He just found out today that he might be switching to the day shift at work, but he still wouldn't have to wake up as early as me so chances are he'll still be staying up a bit later than me.
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  • ashley8918ashley8918 Chicago Suburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Absolutely never, and I wouldn't have it any other way for a few reasons:

    1) I am NOT a cuddler. AT ALL. I hate being touched or having someone breathe all over me when I am trying to fall asleep. Nope! 

    2) He grinds his teeth. And yes, he should get a mouth guard or something so he doesn't lose his teeth, but he is stubborn and I am not his mommy. But, yeah, he does it and the sound is absolutely awful. If I don't get into deep sleep before he comes to bed, I am not getting any sleep.
    SmileDamnit
  • When we're both in town, we go to bed at the same time. Just routine at this point. We have similar work schedules and we both need 8 hours.
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  • FI and I are rarely in the bed at the same time.  We refer to it as taking turns.

    He works nights Sat-Wed, so when he is working I will briefly wake up to say hello to him when he gets home around 7:30am, and he goes and eats dinner and whatever and I go back to sleep.  When he comes in to go to bed around 9am, that's usually when I get up.

    He tries to switch back to sleeping at night on days he isn't working, but fails miserably, so he is usually useless after 5pm, goes to bed between 7pm-8pm, and gets up when I go to bed between 12am and 2am.

    Luckily I am not a cuddler and I just need my space when I sleep anyway. 

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  • We try to. If not, he goes to bed a bit earlier than I do (he wakes up about an hour earlier). I'll be like "wait, I'll go to bed with you, I just need to see the end of Chopped!" I just feel more connected when we have that few minutes of snuggling/kiss goodnight.

    We don't watch TV in the bedroom. There's a tiny one in there that only gets used if one of us is home sick. It hasn't been turned on since his shoulder surgery in March.

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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited November 2014
    We almost always go to bed together at the same time. We work very similar schedules.

  • Sugargirl1019Sugargirl1019 Deep in the Heart of Texas member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Most of the time. If it's my day off, I try to stay awake for him to get home. If I have to work the next day, I go to sleep at 9 - and he comes with me if he's home. He stays up playing on the iPad though.

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  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited November 2014
    Absolutely never, and I wouldn't have it any other way for a few reasons:

    1) I am NOT a cuddler. AT ALL. I hate being touched or having someone breathe all over me when I am trying to fall asleep. Nope! 

    2) He grinds his teeth. And yes, he should get a mouth guard or something so he doesn't lose his teeth, but he is stubborn and I am not his mommy. But, yeah, he does it and the sound is absolutely awful. If I don't get into deep sleep before he comes to bed, I am not getting any sleep.
    Ha, with all these cuddlers I was thinking we were the only ones who hated to cuddle.  

      I think we might cuddle for like 4 minutes, then we do the flip and put our backs to each other. I hate some one breathing in me too.  








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  • lyndausvi said:
    Absolutely never, and I wouldn't have it any other way for a few reasons:

    1) I am NOT a cuddler. AT ALL. I hate being touched or having someone breathe all over me when I am trying to fall asleep. Nope! 

    2) He grinds his teeth. And yes, he should get a mouth guard or something so he doesn't lose his teeth, but he is stubborn and I am not his mommy. But, yeah, he does it and the sound is absolutely awful. If I don't get into deep sleep before he comes to bed, I am not getting any sleep.
    Ha, with all these cuddlers I was thinking we were the only ones who hated to cuddle.  

      I think we might cuddle for like 4 minutes, then we do the flip and put our backs to each other. I hate some one breathing in me too.  


    Oh yeah, cuddling is entirely separate from sleeping. That's why we need to go to bed at the same time for there to be any snuggling - climb into bed, cuddle up for like 5 minutes, then roll to our respectives sides for sleeping. Don't try to snuggle up to me when I'm already sleeping or nearly sleeping - you'll catch an elbow to the nose.

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    ashley8918lyndausvi
  • ashley8918ashley8918 Chicago Suburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    lyndausvi said:
    Absolutely never, and I wouldn't have it any other way for a few reasons:

    1) I am NOT a cuddler. AT ALL. I hate being touched or having someone breathe all over me when I am trying to fall asleep. Nope! 

    2) He grinds his teeth. And yes, he should get a mouth guard or something so he doesn't lose his teeth, but he is stubborn and I am not his mommy. But, yeah, he does it and the sound is absolutely awful. If I don't get into deep sleep before he comes to bed, I am not getting any sleep.
    Ha, with all these cuddlers I was thinking we were the only ones who hated to cuddle.  

      I think we might cuddle for like 4 minutes, then we do the flip and put our backs to each other. I hate some one breathing in me too.  


    Oh yeah, cuddling is entirely separate from sleeping. That's why we need to go to bed at the same time for there to be any snuggling - climb into bed, cuddle up for like 5 minutes, then roll to our respectives sides for sleeping. Don't try to snuggle up to me when I'm already sleeping or nearly sleeping - you'll catch an elbow to the nose.
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    lyndausvi
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    FI works on a rotating shift schedule.

    Days: 4 6am-6pm days on. 6 days off.
    Nights: 4 6pm-6am nights on. 4 days off.
    Hell Week: 3 6pm-6am days. Comes home Sunday at 6, has to be back in at 6pm on Monday for a set of 3 night shifts. Followed by 4 days off.
    Spare: 4 6:30am-2:30pm day shifts. 3 days off.

    On a day that I don't have to bring D to doggy daycare and he's on nights, he comes home at about 7am and gets in bed with me for a while. If it's the weekend, I'll usually go back to sleep. If it's not, I'll wait until he falls asleep (doesn't take long), and I'll get out of bed and go about my day.

    When he's adjusting back to sleeping at night, sometimes he comes to bed with me. He has to be REALLY tired to actually stay in bed and sleep. As the days off progress, he'll fall asleep on the couch earlier and earlier except on days where I can actually convince him to come up to and stay in bed.

    Day shift though, he usually gets home around 7pm and falls asleep on the couch while I'm making dinner. Have to wake him up so that he'll eat, and then nag him to actually go to sleep in our bed.

    The other side of this is when I go on art benders. I stay up all night doing art shit and he wants me to come to bed.
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  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 The Concrete Jungle member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    We have the same work schedule so we go to sleep together all the time. We rarely go to sleep at different times, usually it happens if one of us goes out and comes home really late- since we are also night owls. Sometimes FI takes longer to finish a video game and if I'm exhausted I just get into bed. He's usually in there shortly after.
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  • SmileDamnitSmileDamnit Mile High City member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited November 2014
    Nope, hardly ever. No way I'd ever get to sleep if we did. It takes me awhile to fall asleep & he goes into snoring blissful slumber almost immediately so it's best for my sanity to stagger a bit. Plus, he only sleeps about 6 hours to my 9 or so.

    ETA - another non snuggler here! I can do couch cuddles or weekend morning snuggles, but don't touch me when I'm trying to fall asleep!
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  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl The Cold North member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    lyndausvi said:
    Ha, with all these cuddlers I was thinking we were the only ones who hated to cuddle.  

      I think we might cuddle for like 4 minutes, then we do the flip and put our backs to each other. I hate some one breathing in me too.  


    This is me.  DH loves to cuddle and could sleep the entire night spooning me.  No chance on my end.  

  • Almost never. I go to bed by 10 usually while he is up until after midnight most nights. He also stays up until he is completely exhausted and falls asleep instantly, all of which makes the lack of sex issue doubly difficult because staying up with him is useless.
  • So last night my FI got in bed around 3 (he was staying up late working on a story about Ferguson) and apparently I was deeply asleep for once and I kicked him in the balls.  Ooops.
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  • vikinganna87vikinganna87 Live Free or Die member
    Fifth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer
    We live together but don't usually go to bed at the same time.  Maybe once a we do.  I'll go to bed earlier to read; he stays in the living room watching Anthony Bourdain.  Weekdays we get up at the same time in the morning and eat breakfast together.  On the weekends I sleep in (unless there's a strong reason to get up early, like skiing), he doesn't.  I require a LOT more sleep to be happy and friendly.  When we're with my family or his family I'm usually the last to wake up.

    After reading these posts I feel I need to make an effort to go to bed with him more often.  Those late-night bed conversations are the best.
  • melbensomelbenso Hoth, apparently member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    I get up for work 1.5 hours before my husband does.  I'm at work (which is an hour drive away) before his alarm even goes off most days.  Sometimes he comes to bed when I do on week days.  Sometimes he stays up a bit, but is usually in bed within an hour of me.  On the weekends, we usually go to bed at the same time, but he always sleeps an hour or two later than I do.

    And he wonders why I am so much more tired than him so much of the time...
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  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Nope.  I am always in bed before him because I have to get up earlier.
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