So I just need a place to write this out and vent, because not only do I consider what happened completely inappropriate, but just downright insane. Maybe some people can help me to go "WTF??" and laugh it off….
Early 2007: I start dating my now-ex. First serious relationship for me. I'm in my last year of college. He knows what my dream job/career choices are, so no surprises there. The first several months of the relationship are great.
Early 2008-Mid 2008: Relationship starts getting rocky. He becomes more and more emotionally/psychologically abusive towards me by telling my I'm useless, I'm so lucky to have him, I'll never find anyone better, etc. (he is also a high-paying doctor, so that didn't help his ego any). I struggle to finish my last full semester of school, work two jobs, and take care of his house. I graduate college. There are periods of time that we take breaks from each other, I stay with my parents for a few weeks, and we get back together.
End of Summer 2008: I am offered my dream job. Unfortunately, it would require me to move out of state for at least a year until I finish probation period and qualify for a hardship transfer. EX convinces me not to take the job, despite supporting my goals early on in the relationship no matter where they may take me (he originally said he could get a job *anywhere* so my having to move would be no issue). I decline the job offer. The next day, we have the biggest fight of our relationship to date. It involved him throwing his car keys at me, yelling that I cannot do anything right, and demanding the key to his house back (this stemmed from HIM tracking mud in the house). For the first time, I don't cry, and instead I am enraged. I get my stuff, leave, and make a phone call to ask if the job is still available. It is, and I take it. Days later, I tell EX I've decided to take the job, and will be moving to California. He tries to convince me to stay, but I refuse. The next few weeks, he goes above and beyond to be especially nice and accommodating towards me. I eventually agree to do a long-distance relationship until the following year when I could hopefully get a transfer back home (stupid, I know).
Fall 2008-Summer 2009: I move and begin my new job. I'm miserable, because EX calls me every night and reminds me of our happy times, how he cannot bear being without me, how much he needs me, and all that crap. He tells me not to make any friends and guilt trips me when I would make an attempt to adapt to my new environment and make friends, because "I'll just be moving back home soon, anyway." He continues to pressure me to quit my job and come home, stating I can stay home and take care of him and the house (and eventually kid) because I "don't even need to work."
Summer 2009: We go on a vacation together, and have the biggest fight yet (stemmed from his immature and belligerent behavior towards a hotel clerk). I ended up walking away and leaving for a couple of hours before coming back to the hotel room. We talk. Things are obviously really bad in our relationship, and I'm having serious thoughts about whether or not things will work out. He then asks, "What would you do if I asked you to marry me?" I look at him, taken aback, and ask him if that is a proposal. He doesn't answer, and says "What would you say?" I respond with, "I don't think I could say yes. We have some serious issues to work on in our relationship before I could happily agree to marry you." He then proceeds to 'cry' and says I just broke his heart. Again, I ask "Was that supposed to be a serious proposal? Do you have a ring with you right now?" He childishly responds with, "You'll never know." I later found out that he did have a ring and planned to propose on that trip. The next morning, we got on our separate flights home, having ended our relationship. Over the next few days, he tries to call, text, email me to try and work things out. I stay firm to my decision to finally end this horrible relationship, and eventually ignore all of his pleas until he finally gets the point. Taking that job and moving away from this man and ending the relationship was the best decision. Over the next couple of years, he's tried to call me a few times. One time was supposedly because he found himself on ExposingJohns.com and believed I was the one responsible (???) I never answer or call back.
Fast Forward to Today!:
I get a random text from EX. "Hi ******, this is *****. I ran into **** (a friend of mine he had met several times) at the mall, and she mentioned you were engaged. Congratulations. I've been married since 2012. My wife and I have twin girls. They're almost 2. We're going to (vacation spot here) next spring. The same place we went every year and was really nice. Those were good times. Anyway, just wanted to say hi."
Dude….WTF? Just….why? And WHY does he still have my phone #?? And WHY does he think this is okay?? Of course I didn't respond back, and don't plan to. My relationship with him was probably the hardest and most depressing part of my life and I thought it was finally gone for good.
Anyway, sorry for the looooong post. Just needed to rant a little. I'm so happy that my FI is the complete opposite of this EX.