Wedding 911

Need an unbiased opinion

Today I found out that my family has chosen to have my grandma's Memorial at my wedding venue. It used to be a grange hall over 10 years ago. Traditionally family memorials have always taken place at a grange hall a couple towns over. My family knew this is where my wedding will be when they made these arrangements. My mom reminded my dad that it's my wedding venue and he was unwilling to talk to his siblings about it and didn't think it was a big deal, they have already put a small deposit down. Am I overreacting in that I'm very upset that I'll be getting married in 6 months at the same place that my grandma basically had her funeral? After all its a wedding venue, not a grange hall or a typical place to hold a memorial.

Re: Need an unbiased opinion

  • It is a memorial, those tend to be like brunches with speeches. Would you find it weird is the funeral happened in the same church as your wedding? Your wedding will be completely different and 6 months later, I doubt people will even remember it was the same place. You are overreacting.
  • Based on what you've posted, yes, you are overreacting.  Venues are used for all sorts of things:  memorial services, weddings, business conferences, family reunions, retirement parties, etc.  We just held a family reunion in the same community center room that my grandmother's funeral luncheon was held in - no one cared.  My former boss passed away and his memorial service was held at a country club where hundreds of weddings also take place (and I've been to two weddings in the exact same room).  I'll be attending a memorial service this weekend at the same hotel ballroom where I've attended two retirement dinners, one company holiday party, and three wedding receptions.

    Venues are businesses.  You don't get to call dibs for all eternity on a place because you want it to be your super-special only associated with you place.

  • Yea, I'm sorry - I do think you're overreacting. I can understand being worried that you'll associate the venue with your grandma's funeral 6 months later. But you need to try and find a way to get your mind off the wedding while at your grandma's event. It'll be hard but you have to try not to think about it, picture the space, etc. These are two totally separate events.

    Try to be sensitive to the fact that your dad has just lost his mother and this may be his final wish for her. We all have our wants/needs. Today of all days, take a deep breath and try to just be thankful for your family.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
  • Yep. Overreacting.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Agree with the PPs, you're overreacting. Your father lost his mother. Have a little respect. Your wedding is not the center of the universe. Its just a building.

    image
  • Community halls are for community events.  ALL of them.  I've been to weddings, funerals, Christmas concerts, fundraisers, and graduation ceremonies all in the same hall in my hometown.  It's what it's there for, and no one cares.

    I'm sorry about your grandma.

    **The OMH formerly known as jsangel1018**
  • Today I found out that my family has chosen to have my grandma's Memorial at my wedding venue. It used to be a grange hall over 10 years ago. Traditionally family memorials have always taken place at a grange hall a couple towns over. My family knew this is where my wedding will be when they made these arrangements. My mom reminded my dad that it's my wedding venue and he was unwilling to talk to his siblings about it and didn't think it was a big deal, they have already put a small deposit down. Am I overreacting in that I'm very upset that I'll be getting married in 6 months at the same place that my grandma basically had her funeral? After all its a wedding venue, not a grange hall or a typical place to hold a memorial.

    I had my wedding at the same church where we had my grandfather's funeral. You'll be fine.
  • My dad wants to have the dedication of grandmas headstone to happen at the cemetery the day before my wedding. I thought it was a great idea because everyone would already be here. It will not ruin my wedding weekend, if anything I love that my engagement happened a few days after she died and my wedding will be the day after her dedication. She was an integral part of my life and my story.

    You're way over reacting. 
    image
  • I can definitely understand that you'd feel weird about this and I'm sorry for your loss. But, everyone else is right: a venue is just a venue.

    Funny story-- my friend's relative had a wedding in a cathedral where the monsignor had just died. The morning they walked in for the wedding, the entire place was covered in black mourning drapes. The bridal party took digital pictures of the place, raced around removing the drapes; the florist came in with flowers and they had the wedding. After the wedding, the bridal party (using the pictures as guides) had to put all the black drapes back. So... yeah. You'll be fine. 
    ________________________________


This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards