Baby Fever

pinkcow13

I'm so sick of people being so obsessed with my reproductive cycle ( or whatever it's called). We spent the first part of thanksgiving at FI's grandma. FI's cousin brought his newborn. His mother ( the cousins mom not the baby's mom) at one point shoved the baby into my arms and excitedly yelled out "practice!" And all the camera phones were whipped out. I was mortified. They then did the same to FI shortly after.

This same lady then got into a little thing with FMIL. She kept grabbing me and telling me that I need to have a baby soon, before FMIL dies, because that's her dream. I kid you not. Her exact words. And how I should have the baby soon ( cuz yea, it's so easy to pop one out, duh), and I think FMIL noticed my frustration and made some comment. Somehow she said something about the baby being "hers." So cousins mom then started saying that this was a control r issue, and it's our baby, and asked me if it makes me jealous to hear her say it's her baby.

FFS. Why is this anyone's business?! Why the hell are people shoving babies in my ducking face ( and FI's. Twice for him) to "practice"?! What if we don't want kids? Or what if we can't?! How horrible is that to do somebody's? And for the love of everything, can we fucking get married first before having a child?! What the HELL.

Totally cracked open a bottle of sparkling wine once we got home.

raissyrais

I understand your frustration and it really annoys the hell out of me too when people ask about kids. Unless you are ready to say something along the lines of @KatieNBakin (hope I got that right) about how you are sorry you ever gave them the impression that any of this was their business...then you will have to just smile sourly and take it all. 

I suppose if we never say anything about it then they will always thing that they have the right to ask us about having children. Line anything related to your uterus and sex life is their concern.

PS: Totally unrelated but have you tried your dress twinie?

doeydo

Ugh, I'm mortified over just reading about the "hurry up and have a kid before FMIL dies" comment.  Does she have a terminal illness?  If so, I'm so sorry.  I just, who jokes about that?

AddieCake

I know. I get so sick of people and their comments. They don't mean any harm, but it's like when it comes to this topic, people take complete leave of their senses. We have been trying for almost 3 years and had a failed IVF attempt this past summer, and I still get people pestering me about it.

holyguacamole79

Laaaaaaaame. I'm sorry. That would upset me.

pinkcow13

@doeydo‌, that's how I felt! FMIL is healthy (for the most part), so Idk why the need to make the comment. It's just so insensitive and over the top!

@raissyrais‌ , so he shop told me my dress would be in on the 28th. I haven't had access to my voicemail for like 2 months and on Friday decided to try and figure out my password so that I could access it. Well, the shop called me 2 weeks ago saying that my dress came in! So I have an appointment to try it on next week, on Wednesday!

natswild

I'd be really snarky, and say something along the lines of  "I'm unable to get pregnant (truth), thanks for making me feel bad..."  that's just me though

LabLove86

We got engaged monday night.

At thanksgiving dinner my cousin asked me when we were going to have kids. 

We aren't even planning on a wedding until fall 2016 - and haven't actually started planning THAT yet. 

pinkcow13

My cousin asked me last thanksgiving (or maybe Christmas), when we were going to have or first baby. I answered, "Can I get married first?" I just feel like I can't be as snarky with FI's aunts lol.

wrigleyville

I made the mistake of telling people we couldn't have kids (true), hoping it would shut them up and make them feel bad.

NOPE.

They circled the wagons (chairs) and started going on and on and on about adoption and IVF. "Well couldn't you just adopt? Have you asked about IVF?" Blah blah fucking blah.

I was so pissed. I ended up saying, "This is really nobody's business but ours."

Then, my aunt set up a fucking GoFundMe to raise money for us to adopt and/or try IVF. I was beyond horrified and so angry I had to wait a good two hours before I called her and demanded she take it the fuck down right fucking now.

So yeah, even the infertile thing can backfire sometimes.

My friend got so sick and tired of the constant comments that she ended up telling people, "The more you ask, the longer we're going to wait." It actually kind of worked. I haven't seen a FB comment since then. (She has received some PMs, though. Ugh.)

steph861

Yesterday we had some friends over, and I got asked if I was pregnant yet twice. The wedding was three weeks ago!

I kind of did this to myself, though. I've been pretty open about wanting kids after the wedding. *facepalm*

theartistformerlyknownas

I think I'm going to invite people to just climb on up inside and check for fetuses themselves. Sure, take a look around! There's obviously no privacy regarding this matter at all! Go ahead and invade my personal business physically in addition to verbally, be my guest. Then give then the cockeyed, unblinking stare

pinkcow13

People can be so unreal. And it doesn't get any better. My cousin is on her 3rd pregnancy right now, and she told me that over thanksgiving dinner people were asking them if they were planning to "stop" anytime soon.

SmileDamnit

pinkcow13 said:

People can be so unreal. And it doesn't get any better. My cousin is on her 3rd pregnancy right now, and she told me that over thanksgiving dinner people were asking them if they were planning to "stop" anytime soon.

QFT. If the topic isn't 'when are you going to start growing a spawn?', then it's 'let's talk exclusively about said spawn that is now growing'. I love being pregnant, but it need not be the only thing that ever get's talked about.

LadyMillil

SmileDamnit said:

pinkcow13 said:

People can be so unreal. And it doesn't get any better. My cousin is on her 3rd pregnancy right now, and she told me that over thanksgiving dinner people were asking them if they were planning to "stop" anytime soon.

QFT. If the topic isn't 'when are you going to start growing a spawn?', then it's 'let's talk exclusively about said spawn that is now growing'. I love being pregnant, but it need not be the only thing that ever get's talked about.

It doesn't stop when the baby comes. My friend had a long, difficult, traumatic labour and delivery. Less than a week after her son was born her family and ILs were asking when they'd be trying for a sibling.

ChemFanatic25

I don't understand why people are so demanding of when other people will have children. It boggles my mind. Like that's something that two partners decide, correct? I only dealt with it once, when I was engaged to my ex, and I told his stupid ignorant idiot father (now I can say that) that I was focusing on my career so if he wanted grandchildren, he better start ponying up cash for child care so I can still keep my job. Now I'm undecided about kids so the most annoying thing I hear is "you'll change your mind" or "it's different when you have your own kids."

Still shake my head at people though, like, do they believe that have claim on different women's wombs? Wtf?!

flantastic

My family usually does Thanksgiving day with a certain group of family friends, then travels to our extended family later. Depending on who's hosting, they may include others of their family.

We'd been married for a week and a half, and host's uncle (who is late 50s and just had a baby with wife) was all "Hold the baby? Good practice, you'll have one soon!"

My mom just told me, "And so it begins with the inappropriate baby comments..."

Jen4948

ChemFanatic25 said:

I don't understand why people are so demanding of when other people will have children. It boggles my mind. Like that's something that two partners decide, correct? I only dealt with it once, when I was engaged to my ex, and I told his stupid ignorant idiot father (now I can say that) that I was focusing on my career so if he wanted grandchildren, he better start ponying up cash for child care so I can still keep my job. Now I'm undecided about kids so the most annoying thing I hear is "you'll change your mind" or "it's different when you have your own kids."

Still shake my head at people though, like, do they believe that have claim on different women's wombs? Wtf?!

They not only think they own women's wombs, but their abdomens as well, so they go around and rub the bellies of women without their permission.

steph861

Jen4948 said:

ChemFanatic25 said:

I don't understand why people are so demanding of when other people will have children. It boggles my mind. Like that's something that two partners decide, correct? I only dealt with it once, when I was engaged to my ex, and I told his stupid ignorant idiot father (now I can say that) that I was focusing on my career so if he wanted grandchildren, he better start ponying up cash for child care so I can still keep my job. Now I'm undecided about kids so the most annoying thing I hear is "you'll change your mind" or "it's different when you have your own kids."

Still shake my head at people though, like, do they believe that have claim on different women's wombs? Wtf?!

They not only think they own women's wombs, but their abdomens as well, so they go around and rub the bellies of women without their permission.


I almost hope somebody does this to me when I'm pregnant so I can tell them my fetus isn't a fucking genie.

mrscomposer

My plan for if anyone touched my pregnant belly: put my hand on their stomach with my best dead eye stare.  What?  I thought this was how your people said hi.