Did your SO and you have a plan in case of a whoopsie?

ChemFanatic25

Or did you not think it was necessary?

I currently have the Nexplanon implant and it is amazing, wonderful, fantastic, great! Love it! But there is that small chance of a pregnancy, always that small chance. I have never really thought about it before. I don't really know if I want kids. I'm not a big fan of them but for the first time ever, I actually can see myself, if there was a whoopsie, maybe I'd actually keep the kid because of my current SO. He is amazing and wonderful and he is in the same boat as me. Unknown about kids.

I'm only 24 and my career is in full swing. He's 27 and in the same boat. 

Did you have a plan? Or was it what happens happens, "we'll cross that bridge if it comes to that"? Do you think it's necessary to have a plan?

Edit: So this is just food for thought. I'm not pregnant. I'm just curious. I'm young and obviously lack experience, so I figured why not ask around.

ElcaB

In the words of John Lennon, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

So, no, we have no plans for an unplanned pregnancy. 

emmaaa

We kind of do? Basically, if I were to get pregnant, we could make our spare bedroom into a nursery and a car seat will fit in our car.

esstee33

Our feeling about getting accidentally pregnant is a tiny bit "oh shit" but mostly "cool, surprise baby!"

ETA: the extent of our "plan" if that were to happen would be to get a bigger apartment and do some budget magic, but that's about it. 

climbingsingle

We're not having kids. We obviously take precautions to make sure a pregnancy doesn't happen. But if those precautions failed, we have a game plan. 

amelisha

Yeah, we have a plan. We have had one as long as we've been together, and that plan has changed as our lives have changed. However, we are also double careful all the time, every time, because not getting pregnant is extremely important to me.

blabla89

I guess our plan is "get our shit together real fast." I have absolutely no desire for biological children but would continue the pregnancy if it happened.

littlemushroom

Kind of. We are not going to have kids, but if there was an oops we would deal with it and factor a child into our plans. We figure with everything we do to prevent it, if it happens then it was meant to be.

dcbride86

Nope.  No plan.  We've discussed when I plan on stopping taking the pill, but that's it

WinstonsGirl

We've talked about it, but have decided we'd have to deal if it happens.  I'd consider not having it, but I have a hard time with that since we're pretty much in a good position to have kids if we wanted to.  We'd probably keep it, but I'd be not happy throughout pregnancy.  

My good friend had a dream that I was preggo.  She said I wasn't happy.  We have double BC in place, so hopefully it'll never be an issue

beethery

On FI's side: Sell the snowmobile, motorcycle, and beater car.

On my side: sell as much art as possible, and take on a lot of freelance.

Monetary nest egg in case of surprise baby is important.

Not really an issue though because we take precautions.

flutteringinfl

We've talked about it. We know we want kids, and we're in a decent position to handle one, so if it happens we'd keep it and deal. But ideally we won't start having kids for another couple of years.

LadyMillil

We have had a plan in place since we started dating that has changed as our lives have changed. We want kids and have been okay financially for awhile. However, there is a small window of ideal timing that we haven't made it to yet, so the biggest problem with an oops baby would be me not being able to do my PhD research during pregnancy (and I don't get mat leave) so I would have to take close to a year of unpaid leave, which would not be ideal.

birdybride2014

I guess we have zero plans. I would freak out and be scared, but in the end we'd be excited. We'd still kinda be screwed as of right now, like we'd be okay but I want to start and finish my master's first and make more money.

theartistformerlyknownas

We'll be starting TTC, like, next week, but the general understanding was always that if it happened, we'd make it work. That goes back to my entire attitude toward sex though - I always treated it as if I could get pregnant at any time (despite being on the pill), so if/when there was a time where getting pregnant would be the absolute worst possible thing ever, I just wasn't having sex. So it's never been a giant worry of mine. 

lovegood90

*Braces self for an abortion debate before clicking thread*

 Oh phew, nevermind!

I have no desire to have children and have been on birth control since I was 18. If I do have children it will not be for at least another 10 years.

So we don't have a specific plan, but we do know our woopsie plan is to not go through with having children, whatever that may mean.

princessofgenovia

We had an unwanted pregnancy awhile back, we talked and decided an abortion was the best course of action for us.

Since then we've talked more and well...we have no idea what we do if it happened again. On one hand we really aren't ready to be parents. On the other hand, we do want kids eventually.  If it happens, I'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. Until then, I'm not going to worry. 

ChemFanatic25

lovegood90 said:

*Braces self for an abortion debate before clicking thread*

 Oh phew, nevermind!

I have no desire to have children and have been on birth control since I was 18. If I do have children it will not be for at least another 10 years.

So we don't have a specific plan, but we do know our woopsie plan is to not go through with having children, whatever that may mean.

Oh no, that was not my intention. I was guess I was just curious. I am in the park of I don't know if I want kids or not and so is my SO so it made me start thinking about what would happen if we had a whoopsie. I've never really thought about it until now. I went through three different BC before deciding on the Nexplanon. I researched it and I researched the risks, but the thought never really entered my mind until now.

So like I said, just curious, how others did/did not approach the topic.

ChemFanatic25

So, I guess, what I'm taking away from this thread is that at one point or another, each of you had a serious discussion with your SO's if something were to/did happen . . ? Even if you didn't have a plan in place after the discussion.

JennyColada

I asked then-Fi what he'd want to do if I got pregnant: he'd want us to raise the kid together. We're at a point in our lives (financially) that we easily could. I'm not mentally/emotionally ready to become a mother and I'd probably want to terminate (which he would be upset about despite being pro-choice). I briefly considered the idea of getting one secretly, but that's a horrible thing to keep from my husband and is probably feel guilty about it forever.

So basically: we'd have the kid.

JennyColada

ChemFanatic25 said:

So, I guess, what I'm taking away from this thread is that at one point or another, each of you had a serious discussion with your SO's if something were to/did happen . . ? Even if you didn't have a plan in place after the discussion.

I mean, I'd hope so! This seems like an important discussion for any couple engaging in sexual intercourse, and even moreso for a couple planning and intending to spend the rest of their days together!

littlemushroom

ChemFanatic25 said:

So, I guess, what I'm taking away from this thread is that at one point or another, each of you had a serious discussion with your SO's if something were to/did happen . . ? Even if you didn't have a plan in place after the discussion.

Not as such, no. It wasn't a "serious" sit down discussion where we were like "let us discuss what would happen if I accidentally got pregnant." But when it has been casually mentioned, like I mention my stress level increases when I am a day late even though I am on the pill, the consensus between us is that our future plans would have to shift to include the kid, etc.

It is still more of a "not something that is even remotely likely, but what if" way of thinking about it than a "in case of accident, this is exactly what we will do" contingency plan.

sarawifenow

H and I are at the point where we are not not trying, so if it happens wonderful! We always knew that if we had a surprise baby, we would just take it in stride.

esstee33

ChemFanatic25 said:

So, I guess, what I'm taking away from this thread is that at one point or another, each of you had a serious discussion with your SO's if something were to/did happen . . ? Even if you didn't have a plan in place after the discussion.

I wouldn't call it a "serious discussion." We didn't sit down and work out a game plan or anything. It's just something that came up in conversation a few times throughout our relationship. Despite being pro-choice, I made certain he knew from the beginning that I wouldn't have an abortion, and we use protection to make sure that doesn't happen. It can fail, though, and we've had a scare or two, so it's come up at those points what we would do if I did get pregnant, and we both just said we'd roll with the punches and have a baby. Since we've been 2 hours long distance from day one, most of the conversation was "where would we live?" Now that I'm moving to his city, there's no real, remaining logistical question -- we'd get a bigger apartment and start planning our lives around the baby. 

thisismynickname2

While we were engaged, I was on Nuvaring and long story short, had to take Plan B (the generic) once. Now that we're married, I'm off all hormonal birth control because I hate it. We'll deal with condoms, and if a whoopsie happens before we actually mean to conceive, well that'll be a happy blessing. 

theartistformerlyknownas

ChemFanatic25 said:

So, I guess, what I'm taking away from this thread is that at one point or another, each of you had a serious discussion with your SO's if something were to/did happen . . ? Even if you didn't have a plan in place after the discussion.

No, not a specific discussion about it. It has just worked itself out through normal conversation over the course of our relationship - one of many things it was important to know about each other before becoming serious. I always knew what *I* would do though, even if my SO at any time wasn't on the same page. 

NowIamMrsKlein

The only real 'plan' we made is that my FI would probably put in for a transfer with his company to end up back closer to both of our family. We have no plans of staying where we currently live long term and will be applying for that transfer one day anyways so it was basically 'if an oops happens that will just speed up when we apply for the transfer'

And our reasoning behind getting out of here asap if preggo is that there is very limited access to health care up here. And we are 8 hours away from any friends and family so it would be nice to be a little closer to some sort of support system.

Jells2dot0

We have talked about it and nothing came of it. We don't have a plan because a pregnancy would be a freaking miracle. DH had a vasectomy 19 years ago and I am going through early menopause from my chemo (which, btw, sucks ass). I was on the pill prior to getting sick.

l9i

I never had a formal plan but we talked about it occassionally, it's also changed over the 5+ years we've been together.  While we were both in school and something happened my choice would likely have been to end the pregnancy.  In the past year or so while I've been working and DH finishing school it shifted more to we'd prb keep it and make it work.  Now, we are both working and in a better position to take on a child, we'd keep it and be happy after the initial shock wore off lol.  I've only ever had one scare which was right after the HM in the summer. I was really freaked out, but since it put me in the mood of "would it really be such a bad thing?".... look at me growing up lol.  We ideally won't try for another few years, we want to travel and make a location transfer before than happens.  But if it were, we'd be alright

larrygaga

I'm so surprised this didn't turn into a crazy fight about abortion. Well, I suppose we don't know what lies in the future.

FI and I have very recently shifted from "Get rid of it, because we can't be decent parents right now" to "Keep it because we can support it, but unhappily" to "If it happens we will be happy, although we want to wait a few years".

I just want the baby to hold tight until I finish my Master's and we buy a house. If I was pregnant right now, I would have to probably slow down in school. We would have to move closer to our parents and buy a bigger place to live. FI is always gone because he travels for work so unless he gets a different job I would be raising the baby practically alone. When we are TTC, he will have a different job. We decided he needs to change his job before we have a family. I ain't doing all that work alone. 

lovegood90

ChemFanatic25 said:

lovegood90 said:

*Braces self for an abortion debate before clicking thread*

 Oh phew, nevermind!

I have no desire to have children and have been on birth control since I was 18. If I do have children it will not be for at least another 10 years.

So we don't have a specific plan, but we do know our woopsie plan is to not go through with having children, whatever that may mean.

Oh no, that was not my intention. I was guess I was just curious. I am in the park of I don't know if I want kids or not and so is my SO so it made me start thinking about what would happen if we had a whoopsie. I've never really thought about it until now. I went through three different BC before deciding on the Nexplanon. I researched it and I researched the risks, but the thought never really entered my mind until now.

So like I said, just curious, how others did/did not approach the topic.

Oh, totally know if wasn't your intention Was just jokingly noting that I was pleasantly surprised the discussion didn't steer that way, haha!