Thank you for person who owes me $$$

simplyelise

VENT

For the record, I sent a very nice and etiquette approved thank you note to my former roommate who came to my wedding and gave me a gift. However, I did it begrudgingly for two reasons:

1) Her gift was not from the registry, but it was all things that were just different brands/sizes of registry items. And there was no gift receipt. So we ended up with three pizza stones (2 of the 1 requested from the registry and a smaller one from her with no receipt) and had to return both of the kind we preferred since we couldn't return hers.

2) She still owes me over $100 from when we lived together. There were 3 of us and we each had a couple utility bills under our name. I made a lovely spreadsheet that would let each person input the bills they'd paid and it would automatically tell us who owed what to who. She never settled up on the final bills and she also never returned the refunded deposits from her utilities.

The third roommate moved abroad and I made two attempts before the wedding to ask what the ETA was for her check. But at this point it just feels weird to ask since she just spent money on a gift for us. 

TBH, I would've rather gotten the money back and no gift!

/VENT

theartistformerlyknownas

simplyelise said:

VENT

For the record, I sent a very nice and etiquette approved thank you note to my former roommate who came to my wedding and gave me a gift. However, I did it begrudgingly for two reasons:

1) Her gift was not from the registry, but it was all things that were just different brands/sizes of registry items. And there was no gift receipt. So we ended up with three pizza stones (2 of the 1 requested from the registry and a smaller one from her with no receipt) and had to return both of the kind we preferred since we couldn't return hers.

2) She still owes me over $100 from when we lived together. There were 3 of us and we each had a couple utility bills under our name. I made a lovely spreadsheet that would let each person input the bills they'd paid and it would automatically tell us who owed what to who. She never settled up on the final bills and she also never returned the refunded deposits from her utilities.

The third roommate moved abroad and I made two attempts before the wedding to ask what the ETA was for her check. But at this point it just feels weird to ask since she just spent money on a gift for us. 

TBH, I would've rather gotten the money back and no gift!

/VENT

Did you consider that maybe the reason you got the wrong size gift was because she regifted something she had rather than spending money? But a gift is still a gift, regardless of whether it's what you wanted or if they owe you money.

I know you're just venting and this is snarkland but that seems really petty. :-/

climbingsingle

Yeah, I'm with Lolo. This seems like a really petty snark. If you're still that angry that she didn't repay you $100, why even invite her to your wedding? 

abbyj700

Yes...this just seems rather petty and immature to me. 

She's not required to get you a gift, let alone a gift from your registry. It was nice of her to get you something. You were correct to thank her. And not begrudgingly because you're pissed about "the wrong sized" pizza stone.

It's $100. And how long has it been? You're worried about this money? Why did you invite her to the wedding if $100 is more important than your friendship?

Sorry, snark away - but I don't agree with you.

simplyelise

The 100 was from September and we got married in October. She was already invited. OBVIOUSLY 100 is not more important than the friendship since this was a fucking vent on a forum not me texting her angrily. She wasn't a great roommate (her cat tore up my furniture and she let food rot in the fridge) and consistently was late paying the roomies back for bills, but she's not a bad friend. I've given up on the 100 bucks. 

And honestly, it is a little frustrating if you spend lot's of time on a registry and receive those gifts but then have to return them in favor of a gift you don't want simply because you can't return those gifts without receipt or registry record. Of course she didn't need to get us the gift as I know and clearly expressed. It's just frustrating when gifts become work. And my attitude about it was magnified because of her owing me money. 

For fucks sake people, can a girl get a vent!

redoryx

simplyelise said:

The 100 was from September and we got married in October. She was already invited. OBVIOUSLY 100 is not more important than the friendship since this was a fucking vent on a forum not me texting her angrily. She wasn't a great roommate (her cat tore up my furniture and she let food rot in the fridge) and consistently was late paying the roomies back for bills, but she's not a bad friend. I've given up on the 100 bucks. 

And honestly, it is a little frustrating if you spend lot's of time on a registry and receive those gifts but then have to return them in favor of a gift you don't want simply because you can't return those gifts without receipt or registry record. Of course she didn't need to get us the gift as I know and clearly expressed. It's just frustrating when gifts become work. And my attitude about it was magnified because of her owing me money. 

For fucks sake people, can a girl get a vent!

.......you realize you posted this in the Snarky Brides board, right?

beethery

simplyelise said:

The 100 was from September and we got married in October. She was already invited. OBVIOUSLY 100 is not more important than the friendship since this was a fucking vent on a forum not me texting her angrily. She wasn't a great roommate (her cat tore up my furniture and she let food rot in the fridge) and consistently was late paying the roomies back for bills, but she's not a bad friend. I've given up on the 100 bucks. 

And honestly, it is a little frustrating if you spend lot's of time on a registry and receive those gifts but then have to return them in favor of a gift you don't want simply because you can't return those gifts without receipt or registry record. Of course she didn't need to get us the gift as I know and clearly expressed. It's just frustrating when gifts become work. And my attitude about it was magnified because of her owing me money. 

For fucks sake people, can a girl get a vent!

You can vent all you want but if the shit is petty, we're going to tell you.

If you don't want input, make a private livejournal entry and call it a day.

climbingsingle

Yo, this is Snarky Brides. If you're going to snark on something fucking petty, you're going to get some snark thrown back your way. 

Again, if she was a shitty roommate, why invite her? If she's your friend, then just accept the fucking gift. Jesus. 

princessofgenovia

I'm confused...why'd you have to keep the wrong pizza whatever thing that she got you and return the other two? 

Return one of the duplicates, throw her's up on ebay (or yard sale it whatever), keep one that's absolutely perfect because it was bought by an angel who knows how to shop a registry and clearly is a better person. 

It's not rude/tacky/mean to not utilize the registry. Maybe she couldn't afford too, maybe she saw someone had bought you the one size and thought "Hey! I bet they'd like two sizes of whatever the fuck this is!", or maybe she's just a bitch. But honestly...someone got you a gift. That was nice of them.

jacques27

princessofgenovia said:

I'm confused...why'd you have to keep the wrong pizza whatever thing that she got you and return the other two? 

Return one of the duplicates, throw her's up on ebay (or yard sale it whatever), keep one that's absolutely perfect because it was bought by an angel who knows how to shop a registry and clearly is a better person. 

It's not rude/tacky/mean to not utilize the registry. Maybe she couldn't afford too, maybe she saw someone had bought you the one size and thought "Hey! I bet they'd like two sizes of whatever the fuck this is!", or maybe she's just a bitch. But honestly...someone got you a gift. That was nice of them.

I'm glad I'm not the only one confused.  The minute I read that sentence, I thought "Why didn't you just return one and put the one you don't want in a box to Goodwill?"  Or offer it up to another friend or coworker who doesn't have a pizza stone?  I mean, unless your top priority is maximizing your wedding profit, there are lots of things you could have done that would have resulted in you keeping the pizza stone you wanted and being rid of the one you didn't want.  This really seems petty just for the sake of being petty.

And registries are suggestions, not requirements.  My friend had a spice rack on her registry.  It sucked.  It was designed for aesthetics, not function.  I bought her a spice rack that was 33% cheaper and a 100 times more awesome.  I have since been told multiple times how awesome it is and way better than the one she picked out.

jellybeann

jacques27 said:

princessofgenovia said:

I'm confused...why'd you have to keep the wrong pizza whatever thing that she got you and return the other two? 

Return one of the duplicates, throw her's up on ebay (or yard sale it whatever), keep one that's absolutely perfect because it was bought by an angel who knows how to shop a registry and clearly is a better person. 

It's not rude/tacky/mean to not utilize the registry. Maybe she couldn't afford too, maybe she saw someone had bought you the one size and thought "Hey! I bet they'd like two sizes of whatever the fuck this is!", or maybe she's just a bitch. But honestly...someone got you a gift. That was nice of them.

I'm glad I'm not the only one confused.  The minute I read that sentence, I thought "Why didn't you just return one and put the one you don't want in a box to Goodwill?"  Or offer it up to another friend or coworker who doesn't have a pizza stone?  I mean, unless your top priority is maximizing your wedding profit, there are lots of things you could have done that would have resulted in you keeping the pizza stone you wanted and being rid of the one you didn't want.  This really seems petty just for the sake of being petty.

And registries are suggestions, not requirements.  My friend had a spice rack on her registry.  It sucked.  It was designed for aesthetics, not function.  I bought her a spice rack that was 33% cheaper and a 100 times more awesome.  I have since been told multiple times how awesome it is and way better than the one she picked out.

Sorry to derail - but I need a spice rack and am not 100% sure about the one I have on our registry. What one did you buy/do they still make it?

lnixon8

It's a present. Maybe it's because I'm a teacher but about 80% of presents I receive I don't like. And it's not a big deal. Sometimes I even enjoy the challenge of writing a thank you gift for something "untraditional" (bottled wawa frappacino with a sip taken out of it still in the plastic bag).

Hit up Goodwill or rejoice in the fact that you don't have to lift a heavy huge pizza stone for a single piece of pizza (do people do this? or is that like wine where no one actually only consumes just 1  portion?)

abbyj700

simplyelise said:

The 100 was from September and we got married in October. She was already invited. OBVIOUSLY 100 is not more important than the friendship since this was a fucking vent on a forum not me texting her angrily. She wasn't a great roommate (her cat tore up my furniture and she let food rot in the fridge) and consistently was late paying the roomies back for bills, but she's not a bad friend. I've given up on the 100 bucks. 

And honestly, it is a little frustrating if you spend lot's of time on a registry and receive those gifts but then have to return them in favor of a gift you don't want simply because you can't return those gifts without receipt or registry record. Of course she didn't need to get us the gift as I know and clearly expressed. It's just frustrating when gifts become work. And my attitude about it was magnified because of her owing me money. 

For fucks sake people, can a girl get a vent!

You can vent all you want to. That doesn't mean people have to agree with you. 

beethery

Personally, if I had multiple pizza stones, I'd be thrilled.

Your petty rant has inspired me to go buy another pizza stone. It's a Christmas miracle!!!!

climbingsingle

beethery said:

Personally, if I had multiple pizza stones, I'd be thrilled.

Your petty rant has inspired me to go buy another pizza stone. It's a Christmas miracle!!!!

I like my pizza with onions and peppers. I'll be there at 7. 

princessofgenovia

Ok, what the hell do you do with a pizza stone? Is this for making pizza from scratch or warming up pizza or what? Does it go in the oven? Is it better then the thing below which is the thing that I have?

abbyj700

DH taught me about the wonders of a pizza stone. He's had one for years. It's good for both making homemade pizza and warming up pizza. In fact - we love our pizza stone so much we registered for a grill pizza stone and got it at our shower! 

princessofgenovia said:

Ok, what the hell do you do with a pizza stone? Is this for making pizza from scratch or warming up pizza or what? Does it go in the oven? Is it better then the thing below which is the thing that I have?

DH taught me about the wonders of a pizza stone. He's had one for years. It's good for both making homemade pizza and warming up pizza. In fact - we love our pizza stone so much we registered for a grill pizza stone and got it at our shower! 

beethery

princessofgenovia said:

Ok, what the hell do you do with a pizza stone? Is this for making pizza from scratch or warming up pizza or what? Does it go in the oven? Is it better then the thing below which is the thing that I have?

I've never used one of those but I imagine they're good for already-baked pizza crusts.

I use my pizza stone for all pizza, but it is best used when I make my own dough. I use this recipe (click) and I use that dough for pizza crust, calzones, and when I make my knock-off of Costco chicken bakes.

I like it because once the stone is good and seasoned (read: stained from cheese drips and wet dough) the dough doesn't stick to it and gets a really nice, crisp underside and everything underneath gets cooked right. I also like it because it's so big that the cheese can't drip down through the oven rack and get all over everything. I just make sure it's in the oven when I turn it on to preheat so that it's at temperature when the dough needs to go on it.

tammym1001

My pizza stone was one of my favorite shower gifts. I'm not as creative with my food as some of these other ladies, but it can make a boboli pizza taste a thousand times better than a metal pizza pan. 

levioosa

Yeah, I'm still confused why she returned the ones she actually wanted.  A gift is a gift, and a registry is a guideline, not a demand.  This is petty.  

ChemFanatic25

jellybeann said:

jacques27 said:

princessofgenovia said:

I'm confused...why'd you have to keep the wrong pizza whatever thing that she got you and return the other two? 

Return one of the duplicates, throw her's up on ebay (or yard sale it whatever), keep one that's absolutely perfect because it was bought by an angel who knows how to shop a registry and clearly is a better person. 

It's not rude/tacky/mean to not utilize the registry. Maybe she couldn't afford too, maybe she saw someone had bought you the one size and thought "Hey! I bet they'd like two sizes of whatever the fuck this is!", or maybe she's just a bitch. But honestly...someone got you a gift. That was nice of them.

I'm glad I'm not the only one confused.  The minute I read that sentence, I thought "Why didn't you just return one and put the one you don't want in a box to Goodwill?"  Or offer it up to another friend or coworker who doesn't have a pizza stone?  I mean, unless your top priority is maximizing your wedding profit, there are lots of things you could have done that would have resulted in you keeping the pizza stone you wanted and being rid of the one you didn't want.  This really seems petty just for the sake of being petty.

And registries are suggestions, not requirements.  My friend had a spice rack on her registry.  It sucked.  It was designed for aesthetics, not function.  I bought her a spice rack that was 33% cheaper and a 100 times more awesome.  I have since been told multiple times how awesome it is and way better than the one she picked out.

Sorry to derail - but I need a spice rack and am not 100% sure about the one I have on our registry. What one did you buy/do they still make it?

SO I don't know how helpful this will be but when my best friend got married, they registered at bed bath and beyond. She bought this pretty cool spice rack where you can get refills for a certain amount of time. The bottles were glass and it was a pretty nifty spice rack and when it empties you contact them and they send you refills for free or at a discounted price (I can't remember which) but I'd check it out.

ChemFanatic25

princessofgenovia said:

Ok, what the hell do you do with a pizza stone? Is this for making pizza from scratch or warming up pizza or what? Does it go in the oven? Is it better then the thing below which is the thing that I have?

I have one just like this! Bought it from Marshalls for like $10. It makes the crust so . . . crusty :-D I heard pizza stones are pretty awesome though.

princessofgenovia

ChemFanatic25 said:

princessofgenovia said:

Ok, what the hell do you do with a pizza stone? Is this for making pizza from scratch or warming up pizza or what? Does it go in the oven? Is it better then the thing below which is the thing that I have?

I have one just like this! Bought it from Marshalls for like $10. It makes the crust so . . . crusty :-D I heard pizza stones are pretty awesome though.

That's why we got it! I think I got it at Ross...maybe TJ Maxx, it was a random purchase. Mine is not that shiny. It's all "seasoned" as @beethery put it.

Bubblegum5586

jacques27 said:

princessofgenovia said:

I'm confused...why'd you have to keep the wrong pizza whatever thing that she got you and return the other two? 

Return one of the duplicates, throw her's up on ebay (or yard sale it whatever), keep one that's absolutely perfect because it was bought by an angel who knows how to shop a registry and clearly is a better person. 

It's not rude/tacky/mean to not utilize the registry. Maybe she couldn't afford too, maybe she saw someone had bought you the one size and thought "Hey! I bet they'd like two sizes of whatever the fuck this is!", or maybe she's just a bitch. But honestly...someone got you a gift. That was nice of them.

I'm glad I'm not the only one confused.  The minute I read that sentence, I thought "Why didn't you just return one and put the one you don't want in a box to Goodwill?"  Or offer it up to another friend or coworker who doesn't have a pizza stone?  I mean, unless your top priority is maximizing your wedding profit, there are lots of things you could have done that would have resulted in you keeping the pizza stone you wanted and being rid of the one you didn't want.  This really seems petty just for the sake of being petty.

And registries are suggestions, not requirements.  My friend had a spice rack on her registry.  It sucked.  It was designed for aesthetics, not function.  I bought her a spice rack that was 33% cheaper and a 100 times more awesome.  I have since been told multiple times how awesome it is and way better than the one she picked out.

A friend of mine was at a baby shower when the mother-to-be threw a shit fit when she didn't get everything on her registry... in front of her guests!!!

levioosa

bubblegum1309 said:

jacques27 said:

princessofgenovia said:

I'm confused...why'd you have to keep the wrong pizza whatever thing that she got you and return the other two? 

Return one of the duplicates, throw her's up on ebay (or yard sale it whatever), keep one that's absolutely perfect because it was bought by an angel who knows how to shop a registry and clearly is a better person. 

It's not rude/tacky/mean to not utilize the registry. Maybe she couldn't afford too, maybe she saw someone had bought you the one size and thought "Hey! I bet they'd like two sizes of whatever the fuck this is!", or maybe she's just a bitch. But honestly...someone got you a gift. That was nice of them.

I'm glad I'm not the only one confused.  The minute I read that sentence, I thought "Why didn't you just return one and put the one you don't want in a box to Goodwill?"  Or offer it up to another friend or coworker who doesn't have a pizza stone?  I mean, unless your top priority is maximizing your wedding profit, there are lots of things you could have done that would have resulted in you keeping the pizza stone you wanted and being rid of the one you didn't want.  This really seems petty just for the sake of being petty.

And registries are suggestions, not requirements.  My friend had a spice rack on her registry.  It sucked.  It was designed for aesthetics, not function.  I bought her a spice rack that was 33% cheaper and a 100 times more awesome.  I have since been told multiple times how awesome it is and way better than the one she picked out.

A friend of mine was at a baby shower when the mother-to-be threw a shit fit when she didn't get everything on her registry... in front of her guests!!!

SITB:

I wonder if she was at the same one my Mom was at a few months ago.  She (the girl) accidentally got doubles of an outfit and threw a fit about it.

"Um.....so I guess I have TWO of these now?!  That's just great.  It's not like there wasn't anything else to buy from on the registry *giant eyeroll*"

Edit: To clarify that it was the girl throwing a tantrum, not my Mom.  

ohannabelle

simplyelise said:

The 100 was from September and we got married in October. She was already invited. OBVIOUSLY 100 is not more important than the friendship since this was a fucking vent on a forum not me texting her angrily. She wasn't a great roommate (her cat tore up my furniture and she let food rot in the fridge) and consistently was late paying the roomies back for bills, but she's not a bad friend. I've given up on the 100 bucks. 

And honestly, it is a little frustrating if you spend lot's of time on a registry and receive those gifts but then have to return them in favor of a gift you don't want simply because you can't return those gifts without receipt or registry record. Of course she didn't need to get us the gift as I know and clearly expressed. It's just frustrating when gifts become work. And my attitude about it was magnified because of her owing me money. 

For fucks sake people, can a girl get a vent!

Yes. Gifts are so much work. You have to take the paper off, and everything. And if you don't like it, you have to carry it all the way to the car and go to a department store and exchange it. 

Jesus. I'm exhausted even thinking about it. How dare she? 

You should just hit the bitch. Just yell, "Thanks for the wrong pizza stone, bitch!" and slap her. 

flutteringinfl

ohannabelle said:

simplyelise said:

The 100 was from September and we got married in October. She was already invited. OBVIOUSLY 100 is not more important than the friendship since this was a fucking vent on a forum not me texting her angrily. She wasn't a great roommate (her cat tore up my furniture and she let food rot in the fridge) and consistently was late paying the roomies back for bills, but she's not a bad friend. I've given up on the 100 bucks. 

And honestly, it is a little frustrating if you spend lot's of time on a registry and receive those gifts but then have to return them in favor of a gift you don't want simply because you can't return those gifts without receipt or registry record. Of course she didn't need to get us the gift as I know and clearly expressed. It's just frustrating when gifts become work. And my attitude about it was magnified because of her owing me money. 

For fucks sake people, can a girl get a vent!

Yes. Gifts are so much work. You have to take the paper off, and everything. And if you don't like it, you have to carry it all the way to the car and go to a department store and exchange it. 

Jesus. I'm exhausted even thinking about it. How dare she? 

You should just hit the bitch. Just yell, "Thanks for the wrong pizza stone, bitch!" and slap her. 

Hit her WITH the pizza stone. That'll learn her.

(Don't actually hit people with pizza stones. Or preferably with anything)

VulgarGirl

We registered for one pizza stone (Wifey's thing, I did not know what you did with it), we ended up with 3. Wifey decided she's going to return one because she's not as thrilled about as the other two. We thanked everyone who bought us the pizza stone and we do not give a shit that other pizza stones were bought.

MairePoppy

Gift registries are guides for those who prefer to use them. No one is obligated to shop from anyone's registry.

I don't understand the problem with the pizza stones. They are flat objects, like plates, that hardly take any space. You can store one on top of the other. If you couldn't stand to have a spare, you could have kept the favored one and donated or regifted the other one back to your friend when she gets married.

ShesSoCold

simplyelise said: The 100 was from September and we got married in October. She was already invited. OBVIOUSLY 100 is not more important than the friendship since this was a fucking vent on a forum not me texting her angrily. She wasn't a great roommate (her cat tore up my furniture and she let food rot in the fridge) and consistently was late paying the roomies back for bills, but she's not a bad friend. I've given up on the 100 bucks. 
And honestly, it is a little frustrating if you spend lot's of time on a registry and receive those gifts but then have to return them in favor of a gift you don't want simply because you can't return those gifts without receipt or registry record. Of course she didn't need to get us the gift as I know and clearly expressed. It's just frustrating when gifts become work. And my attitude about it was magnified because of her owing me money. 
For fucks sake people, can a girl get a vent!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh my god, you poor thing. Receiving gifts must be horrible for you, especially when you spend SO MUCH time painstakingly picking out fun shit you want. Even worse to have to take time out of your busy gift-receiving day to go to a store to return some bullshit gift and take the time to shop for something you actually want. Receiving gifts and shopping? Sounds terrible. I am so sorry you're going through this. 

Edited for broken boxes

wrigleyville

So, she owed you $100 from September and the wedding was in October? Did it occur to you that perhaps she spent part of that $100 on your wedding gift and, therefore, couldn't pay you back?

Paying someone money you already owe them isn't technically a gift, so I can see why she bought a gift instead of paying you back.