Is it a terrible idea...

Junebug2015

... to invite over our venue maximum?

My gut is telling me not to, but then I keep trying to convince myself otherwise. Hear me out...

On one hand - It would only be about 5 people over the maximum. It's essentially a destination wedding and it's likely that there will be *some* who will be unable to make it. It wouldn't create a budget concern. I would REALLY like to invite the few extra people that are hanging out in guest list limbo land.

BUT - What if everyone says yes? What if all of a sudden there is an explosion of people who get significant others (this isn't so much of a concern because we were over generous with giving people plus ones)? *insert other horror story here*

Thoughts? 

holyguacamole79

Junebug2015 said:

... to invite over our venue maximum?

My gut is telling me not to, but then I keep trying to convince myself otherwise. Hear me out...

On one hand - It would only be about 5 people over the maximum. It's essentially a destination wedding and it's likely that there will be *some* who will be unable to make it. It wouldn't create a budget concern. I would REALLY like to invite the few extra people that are hanging out in guest list limbo land.

BUT - What if everyone says yes? What if all of a sudden there is an explosion of people who get significant others (this isn't so much of a concern because we were over generous with giving people plus ones)? *insert other horror story here*

Thoughts? 

ALWAYS plan for 100%. Always.

Teddy917

The venue has a max occupancy for a reason. There are fire codes plus figuring in space for tables, DJ, dance floor, etc. Unless you have a backup plan for if 100% show up, don't go over, even by one.

theartistformerlyknownas

What's the worst that would happen if everyone came and you were 5 over? And have you counted your photographer(s), DJ, any other vendors in your count? Did you count yourself? 

If being 5 over means you get a slap on the wrist from the venue, and have to put a table on the dance floor, that's one thing. If it puts you over fire code and 5 people will literally not be allowed into the building that's another.

climbingsingle

Never invite over max venue capacity! Ditto PPs - are you including yourselves and your vendors in this count?

Junebug2015

Sigh. I needed to hear that - I knew it was a bad idea, but couldn't help thinking about doing it. Our guest list isn't final yet, so it's more wishful thinking than anything else.

@lolo883 and @ClimbingBrideNY, I counted us, but I did not even think to count my vendors. Cue frantic email to the venue coordinator.

phira

It's not worth it.

We weren't even close to inviting over our maximum (since we could only afford to invite 130 people and the maximum is like ... 230), but because we had a maximum we could afford, I was initially really irritated when people couldn't make it. After all, look at all these other people I COULD have invited had I known who would be declining!

But it didn't really matter, honestly. I've gotten almost NO shit for not inviting certain people, and my wedding was just fine with only 90 guests instead of 130. It's just stressful to have to come up with the guest list and figure out where to cut. Once you've made the decisions, you're done. Don't second-guess yourself. You'll feel better.

(The only person who gave me any shit about not being invited is my 18-year-old developmentally delayed cousin, who does not understand that it's rude to ask why you weren't invited to a wedding.)

novella1186

Guest lists suck. Bad. But it will be way more stressful in the long run to invite over capacity than it will to just cut those 5 people and move on. 

NYCMercedes

@lolo883 ‌ Put that well. If they can put a table on the dance floor, then go for it. If it's fire code, then it's a no-brainer. eta::: wtf is going on with the @ quotes?

lovesclimbing

Do you have any courtesy invites? I guess I tend to be on the side of, yes, there are certain people you can know for certain won't come.

My great aunt and uncle who live halfway across the country who literally haven't left a three or four county area in twenty years? My cousins who also live halfway across the country who just came up to Alaska five months ago for a visit and only make the trip once every two or three years?

I knew those people wouldn't come. I sent them invitations anyway. They didn't come.

So I would be cautious, but I also do believe there are some people you can know for sure won't come.

ElcaB

Yes, it's a terrible idea. 

larrygaga

I'm going over by 6 people because I'm fairly certain my uncle, his wife and his 4 kids won't be able to leave their cult, fly across the country and visit with family he has disowned. If they show up, I would have more to think about and freak out about than my budget, lol.

Actually, I think I'm jinxing it because if they come we will be over budget but not over capacity, so of course they will come just to be a pain in the ass. I wish they would!

Junebug2015

Thanks for all the advice everyone. I'm checking with the venue about the max and talking to the coordinator to see what she has to say.

@phira, I appreciate what you had to say - I keep wanting more of our friends there because I want it to be a good time, but I know when all is said and done I am really happy with where our guest list is now.

We don't have a lot of courtesy invites. I have a really hard time thinking of people who won't come (at least on my side... FI's family is another story), so I guess for now it's keep the list where it's at. 

AlexaF2014

It's really not worth the stress to over-invite.

HOWEVER, I am I hypocrite and did just that. Talk to your venue and determine what "capacity" means - for some places, that's fire code so the room seems bigger on paper. For others (like mine), it was comfortable banquet hall seating, and the coordinator was able to send me a set-up PDF with one extra table if I got 100% attendance (invited 7 people over a 70 limit). At the end of the day, I had ~56 guests and it was the perfect about for everyone to spread out and not bump elbows constantly.

If there is a back-up plan for 100% attendance, then go for it. Otherwise, pick which 5 people you can imagine your wedding day without.