Post wedding blues?

climbingsingle

Is this a common thing? Did any of you experience this? 

lacqueredlover

A few of my friends have definitely experienced it.  So much goes into planning and looking forward to it that once the "newness" of being married wears off, they got a bit down.

Blergbot

My H did a bit, but that might have had something to do with the stress of buying a house right after the wedding and moving and all that. I do remember someone posting about this a few months back. Was it @SBmini‌ ?

Aray82

A bit, mostly because we live so far away so I got to spend time with family whom I get to see twice a year at most, sometimes once every year or so. I miss being able to hang out with people!

JennyColada

I've certainly heard a few other ladies on this board mention such things. Plus isn't there also an entire sub forum basically dedicated to this idea?

Our wedding was very small and did not take much planning (and the planning that it did take wasn't very enjoyable for me!) so there wasn't a whole lot of change from then to now.

I definitely wish that I could re-live the day though, since it was SO fun, but two months in and I wouldn't say that I have post wedding blues.

phira

We spent 15 months actively planning our wedding (and the preceding months, planning our engagement and thinking about our wedding). That was a lot of time spent on an event that lasted maybe six hours (a weekend, if I'm being generous). It's taken some adjustment, now that we're done with huge life milestones for the next few years.

It also doesn't help that we lived together for two years before getting married, so getting married isn't that much of a change at all, in terms of daily life.

I haven't been too bummed out, but I think that identifying these two things has really helped me understand the ways that things are kind of weird now. There was all this build-up for an event that changed almost nothing for us--it's weird to deal with that.

sarawifenow

YES!!! I'm so glad you asked. I have been a depressed, moody ass since the wedding. Don't get me wrong, I love my DH more than anything and we are beyond happy, but I just can't shake this sad feeling. It's almost like PPD but PWD?

climbingsingle

Oh yeah! There's a Wedding Withdrawal board. Duh. 

I'm not sad, and I definitely don't have the blues at all. I'm so in love with H, and we have so many fun things planned in the next few months. But I really do wish I could live the day over again. It was so perfect. 

climbingsingle

And what's interesting is that directly after the wedding, I was relieved it was over. I felt so much less stressed. 

But again, it just makes me so sad that I can't relive the day. 

kat1114

ClimbingBrideNY said:

And what's interesting is that directly after the wedding, I was relieved it was over. I felt so much less stressed. 

But again, it just makes me so sad that I can't relive the day. 

Yes to all of the above. I haven't felt sad per se, but I definitely feel bummed that it went so fast, even though it was such a weight off my shoulders to  have it done.

birdybride2014

two weeks out and I'm not sad at all. Super relieved that we can breathe again, and extremely happy to not have boxes of wedding decorations and things everywhere! Ahh  

But we'll see in a month, especially when winter blues kick in lol 

ShesSoCold

I did for sure. I still do. We spent two years planning a wedding we cancelled a month before, to reschedule locally for earlier. I feel like I'm in mourning for the wedding I didn't get to have, but we still had a nice wedding and we're married. It sounds weird but I don't feel as married since we didn't get the wedding we planned. 

beethery

I'm not married yet, but I have most of my shit signed/paid off already. When I get the itch to plan things, I find myself shopping or planning dinner parties and that kind of stuff. Gives me a planning outlet and something to keep myself busy with.

climbingsingle

Oh god, clearing out all the left overs I had from my DIY projects was cathartic. I finally had my dining room table back. 

I told H that for our year anniversary, I'm putting my dress on, and he's getting a tux and we're going out for drinks where no one knows us. We can pretend we just sneaked out of our wedding celebration. He might think I'm just joking. 

thisismynickname2

I just have a void where thinking about the wedding used to be. DH and I both finished second master's degrees this year (lifelong learners!), we moved in together, got married.... so there's a feeling of "now what?" (Not babies, yet.)

We're the types that need to be doing something, so I'm looking up things like sommelier (sp?) classes and we're planning two big trips next year (anniversary and a destination marathon, we believe) and it's just... we're kind of bored. Especially now that winter weather hit really early, we're couch potatoes, and it's just not us. 

I get to help my BFF plan her wedding so that helps the void a bit! Haha. 

JennyColada

ClimbingBrideNY said:

Oh god, clearing out all the left overs I had from my DIY projects was cathartic. I finally had my dining room table back. 

I told H that for our year anniversary, I'm putting my dress on, and he's getting a tux and we're going out for drinks where no one knows us. We can pretend we just sneaked out of our wedding celebration. He might think I'm just joking. 

This kind of stuff makes me sad that I donated my dress! I love the concept of doing this (I doubt we'd ever do it in real life though), and it would be so fun to get all the random "congrats!" from strangers again...but I also think I'd feel SUPER odd doing it and I'd feel like a totally AW and a big fat liar.

kns1988

Our wedding was incredible, and during the honeymoon I had a "whew, glad that's over and it went so well" feeling. 

Getting home from the honeymoon was another story - I had a month of freaking out about what's next (looking at houses, reading baby blogs, searching for new jobs). For some reason, I couldn't settle down and enjoy the moment without constantly planning our future.

Luckily, I didn't make any huge decisions last month because now I realized I don't want to buy a house, we can wait to have a baby, and I like my job. Things are back to normal and I love it. 

Bubblegum5586

I thought for sure I would feel sad when it was over, I LOVED the planning of it! But I was shocked to find myself just fine with it. It's been over a year and in that time I have been busy with my job, H got a new job, we got a house, have gone on/going on a few trips. 

Life is good and we are happy!

Now, I have watched my 10 min highlights wedding video... about a million times though. It was a great day and I love reliving it as often as I can. But I think that if we I were to do it all over again... I would do a beach destination wedding with minimal planning done by me! And I still love hearing about others weddings (duh that's why I am here!)

theartistformerlyknownas

ClimbingBrideNY said:

And what's interesting is that directly after the wedding, I was relieved it was over. I felt so much less stressed. 

But again, it just makes me so sad that I can't relive the day. 

All of this. It was like "YESSS we did it, it's over! Wait... NO! It can't be over, come back!"

climbingsingle

thisismynickname said:

I just have a void where thinking about the wedding used to be. DH and I both finished second master's degrees this year (lifelong learners!), we moved in together, got married.... so there's a feeling of "now what?" (Not babies, yet.)

We're the types that need to be doing something, so I'm looking up things like sommelier (sp?) classes and we're planning two big trips next year (anniversary and a destination marathon, we believe) and it's just... we're kind of bored. Especially now that winter weather hit really early, we're couch potatoes, and it's just not us. 

I get to help my BFF plan her wedding so that helps the void a bit! Haha. 

How exciting! 

We really do have a lot coming up. San Fran in January, Florida and then DR in February, Newport during the summer. Probably a few skiing trips during the winter. Not to mention we're redoing the house. But even with all this fun stuff, I'm sad. 

theartistformerlyknownas

Also, I had a really weird dream last night that I had planned a "B-list PPD" and forgot about it, but the day-of came up and my hair dresser showed up like "time to do your hair for your wedding!" It was all people coming who we had cut from the guest list, and I was freaking out like "why the heck did I ever plan this? this is a terrible idea! what the fuck am I supposed to wear, my dress isn't cleaned yet and won't fit anyway! FUCK they had to have seen my wedding pics on Facebook, they all know I'm married!" So weird.

Maggie0829

Yup, I did.  Once the wedding and honeymoon was over there wasn't anything "big" left to plan for or look forward to.  H and I just went back to our normal and every day lives.  

Not long after we got engaged we bought and had our home built.  Then in the midst of that we planned our wedding.  Then a month before we got hitched we moved into our new home and then we had our wedding.  So that was a lot of excitement in one year.  Once that year was over with I was like "now what?"

So I had post wedding blues for a bit.  I loved our wedding but I did tend to think "what if we did this?" or "what if we did that?" and questioned my decisions which really didn't help with feeling down.  But I got over it.  Now I just can't believe that it was over 3 years ago that our wedding happened, seems like yesterday.  Time really does fly.

cupcait927

I hated every single second of wedding planning and could not have been more happy to have that part over. If for some reason I ever find myself getting married again, I'm eloping. The day itself was incredible and amazing and I wish I could live it over again, but the planning was hell.

Sugargirl1019

Our honeymoon was such a high, because we were alone. But the past 4-5 months of being married have been probably a wedding blues time period. I love DH a lot. But we haven't been alone, ever. Makes it feel like we're just roommates, not married.

Also, we're been working a lot and DH especially, and while he's been sweet with kisses and hugs, he just was never in the mood. Maybe once every 3 weeks. It was hurtful to be newlywed and I felt like we never had sex.

But I understand he was just tired. He just had 4 days off in a row from both jobs for the holiday, and he's been in the mood all day long. Waking me up in the middle of the night, starting things when the alarm goes off. We are three weeks away from closing on our house, and we are definitely feeling excited. It will be like we have just gotten married. Having a house to ourselves that we can decorate and walk around naked and when he walks through the door from work I can give him the look and hug him and kiss him and touch him to make him feel that he is wanted and loved and I still find him sexy. We haven't been able to really share sexy looks/moments because there's always at least 3 people around.

When we move in to our new house, it will feel like our honeymoon all over again. Finally we will feel married!

littlemushroom

I never got sad the wedding part was over. The entire time we were planning and things were crazy I was looking forward to our lives getting back to normal. DH and I both could not wait to have our weekends back to just be together without something needing to be done or somewhere to go for the wedding.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the planning and our wedding was a blast! If I could relive our wedding day I would because it was awesome. In the end though, what I was most looking forward to is what we have now. We are just so happy together and we love having time to get in all the quality time we want doing whatever we want.

Jells2dot0

My wedding was super small and private, but I still miss planning it! I think I just need to turn that focus onto planning trips once I am well.

Bubblegum5586

ClimbingBrideNY said:

thisismynickname said:

I just have a void where thinking about the wedding used to be. DH and I both finished second master's degrees this year (lifelong learners!), we moved in together, got married.... so there's a feeling of "now what?" (Not babies, yet.)

We're the types that need to be doing something, so I'm looking up things like sommelier (sp?) classes and we're planning two big trips next year (anniversary and a destination marathon, we believe) and it's just... we're kind of bored. Especially now that winter weather hit really early, we're couch potatoes, and it's just not us. 

I get to help my BFF plan her wedding so that helps the void a bit! Haha. 

How exciting! 

We really do have a lot coming up. San Fran in January, Florida and then DR in February, Newport during the summer. Probably a few skiing trips during the winter. Not to mention we're redoing the house. But even with all this fun stuff, I'm sad. 

Heyyyy we are going to San Fran in January or February... still deciding....

JaniV123

Since we moved in together already i think that part will be kind of like "well, now I can call you H" but I will be so busy with research and school stuff I probably wont have time for that. I would love if we could buy a house or something but not for another 3.5 years