Feeling really awkward about WP

mealee

Is it rude of me not to have my FI sister as one of my bridesmaids? 

Honestly, it didn't even occur to me that I should ask her until...My FIs brother is getting married and his soon to be wife asked her to be one of her bridesmaid. Now everyone is gushing over how sweet it is that she asked his sister to be in the wedding party and I'm just standing over here feeling really awkward.

mikenberger

My FI has a sister. She is not in the bridal party. I dont consider her and I to be friends. It doesn't mean that I hate her or anything. Its just bridal parties are people that are near and dear to you.

Is it a nice gesture? Yes. Is it something you need to do? No. If she "needs" to be in the bridal party, she can stand on his side.

Maggie0829

My H has a sister.  I did not ask her to be in my bridal party.  I never even gave it a thought until my Mom said something like "do you think she will expect to be in your wedding?"  I told my Mom that even if she expected it I wasn't going to ask her.  I am not that close with her and I already had a large enough bridal party for me (2 girls and even that was one more then I really wanted).

So don't let what people are saying sway you to do something that you never even thought to do.  The fact that you didn't even consider asking her to be in your bridal party means that you shouldn't ask her.  

mlg78

If your FI wants her in the wedding she can stand up on his side.  You have your nearest and dearest and so does he. You're not obligated by any means to have FI's siblings stand up for you.

esstee33

mealee said:

Is it rude of me not to have my FI sister as one of my bridesmaids? 

Honestly, it didn't even occur to me that I should ask her until...My FIs brother is getting married and his soon to be wife asked her to be one of her bridesmaid. Now everyone is gushing over how sweet it is that she asked his sister to be in the wedding party and I'm just standing over here feeling really awkward.

Are you close with his sister? I'm guessing since you're posing this question, you're not, so don't ask her. It's not rude to not ask her, especially since you'd only be asking her out of obligation. If it's important to your FI that she be in the wedding party, she can stand on his side. 

jenna8984

Honestly, my brother's wife asked me to be in theirs well after she had asked her friends. Like they had already picked out dresses when she asked me. It was awkward for me, I felt like she only threw me in after the fact for even numbers or because she felt obligated. I did it because he's my only brother but I would have preferred if she never asked me since we're not friends. She was not in minea year later.

mealee

I find it hard to be close to someone her age. We like the same movies and I read YA sometimes but I'm more than double her age.

mealee

Inviting her to be one now would definitely seem weird. Getting married in less than 3 months. My FI has never said anything. I just feel awkward because of the other bride doing it and how much it's talked about.

esstee33

mealee said:

Inviting her to be one now would definitely seem weird. Getting married in less than 3 months. My FI has never said anything. I just feel awkward because of the other bride doing it and how much it's talked about.

Yeah, definitely don't ask her, then. By now I'm sure she'd realize that it would only be out of obligation or pity. 

lacqueredlover

My sister in law asked me when she married my brother and I asked both her and my FI's sister in law to be my bridesmaids.  But, I like them both very much so it wasn't an issue for me.  

cafarrie

I had my H's 2 sisters as BM's.  I wouldn't say we're particularly close, but I like them a lot.  And H and I thought of our wedding party more as one big party and picked it together.  

ETA:  In your situation I would not ask her, especially if your FI doesn't care/hasn't mentioned it. 

ShesSoCold

I agree with PPs. My SIL asked my sister and I to be in their wedding and it was obvious that she needed us to make her side even to my brother's. We are not close at all and my sister and I were very uncomfortable. 

zitiqueen

You also don't need to give her some BS made-up job, like guestbook attendant or program hander-outer. Just invite her as a guest.

sarawifenow

I have 4 SILs (two are H's sisters, two are my two BILs wives). I asked 2 of them (H's sisters) because I am close with them. The other two had no problem with it. I did make sure to include them in some of the pictures. There is one with me and all 4 of my SILs and it is one of my favorite pictures. Maybe you could just include her in family portraits if you are doing them?

peachy13

Totally okay that you didn't ask her to begin with, but there is always still time to ask her if that's what you want to do now, or maybe you could ask her to do a reading at your ceremony? 

abbyj700

sarawifenow said:

I have 4 SILs (two are H's sisters, two are my two BILs wives). I asked 2 of them (H's sisters) because I am close with them. The other two had no problem with it. I did make sure to include them in some of the pictures. There is one with me and all 4 of my SILs and it is one of my favorite pictures. Maybe you could just include her in family portraits if you are doing them?

Wish I would have seen this before my wedding as I TOTALLY would have gotten pro pictures with just me and my SIL's!

mealee

abbyj700 said:

sarawifenow said:

I have 4 SILs (two are H's sisters, two are my two BILs wives). I asked 2 of them (H's sisters) because I am close with them. The other two had no problem with it. I did make sure to include them in some of the pictures. There is one with me and all 4 of my SILs and it is one of my favorite pictures. Maybe you could just include her in family portraits if you are doing them?

Wish I would have seen this before my wedding as I TOTALLY would have gotten pro pictures with just me and my SIL's!

I'll definitely get some pictures with her and with all the fam and her.