Destination Weddings Discussions

Hawaii Destination Wedding: Are we crazy?

I just got engaged and my finance absolutely has his heart set on a destination (beach) wedding with his preferred location being Hawaii. On the flip side, the most important thing to me is being sure we can invite everyone we want there. Our list is probably around 100-125 right now so not a huge traditional wedding but very large for a destination. I have no idea what this might cost us. Would appreciate any personal stories and advice people might have to share. Our current budget estimate is around $20,000 but we haven’t settled on a final number yet and I’m trying to figure out where compromises will need to happen (ie: if we trimmed the guest list by 20 or so, would we still be crazy to think we could afford that Hawaiian beach?) 

Re: Hawaii Destination Wedding: Are we crazy?

  • Does your budget include airfare for yourselves? Depending on where you're starting, airfare to HI could eat quite a chunk of that to begin with. Friends of ours are attending a DW there and the tickets ran about $3,000.

    There are other women here who have tied the knot in HI so perhaps they can give you a better idea on whether or not that is realistic for the number of guests you mention. Good luck!
  • I think that depending on what you want, $20,000 is completely doable.  Ours is definitely under $20,000.  We are only expecting about 30 people but are doing it on a plantation and it's fully catered with sit down meals, cake, flowers etc...    
    I am not sure that it is realistic to expect 100-125 people to actually come.   Hawaii is expensive for the most part.  It is a lot of money for guests to spend.  There is airfare, hotels and food.  None of these things are cheap.  Our airfare cost us about $4000 for 3 of us, but we are coming from New Zealand and that's closer then some parts of the US.  We have family spending $4000 for two of them to come from the east coast.  Hotels in Hawaii are not the cheapest and neither is food.  You need to talk to your nearest and dearest that you absolutely must have at your wedding and see if they can swing it.  Then realise that they may be the only ones there.  If you are okay with that, then you're good.  
    For us, Hawaii works perfectly because it's in the middle of both families.  We also wanted a smaller wedding.  Good luck.
  • I agree with pps that it's doable for your travels and maybe a smaller guest list but it's probably not doable for all of the people you want there (cost to you wise and cost to them wise).

    Most of your guests will have to spend at least $3K for air/hotel for their stay there, most likely more. That is asking a lot of people to spend. Plus, catering or 125 people in Hawaii is probably very steep. Just getting groceries there is double what it is at home. I'm sure it's doable within budget, but it might not be exactly what you are looking for.

    Honestly, I think you'd be lucky if half of your invited guests could go, but catering for 50 is a bit more doable on your budget then catering for 100.

    If you want a DW, you have to be okay with the majority of your guest list not attending and perhaps your only guests being your VIPs. Be sure check with your VIP guests before booking anything as well. The last thing you want is to have everything booked and then have your parents or siblings say "I can't come because it's so far from home."

    At the end of the day, DWs are not for everyone. You have to be willing to give up some control, since you are planning from afar and you have to be willing to have a smaller wedding because a lot of people just simply cannot afford to attend.

     







  • lmotz08 said:

    I just got engaged and my finance absolutely has his heart set on a destination (beach) wedding with his preferred location being Hawaii. On the flip side, the most important thing to me is being sure we can invite everyone we want there. Our list is probably around 100-125 right now so not a huge traditional wedding but very large for a destination. I have no idea what this might cost us. Would appreciate any personal stories and advice people might have to share. Our current budget estimate is around $20,000 but we haven’t settled on a final number yet and I’m trying to figure out where compromises will need to happen (ie: if we trimmed the guest list by 20 or so, would we still be crazy to think we could afford that Hawaiian beach?) 

    I am currently working on planning a very small destination wedding in Hawaii on the North shore of Kauai. Is it most important that you can invite everyone or that most everyone will come? We have a tiny guest list of VIPs, but even people we thought for sure could make it won't be able to come for a variety of reasons (money, pregnancy, work, etc). If you're not ok with a good part of your guest list not making it, you might want to reconsider a more accessible location. As long as the thing most important to you is simply being able to invite these people and not expecting that they will all come, then a destination wedding could work. Obviously you still need to budget for all the people you invite, but you also have to set your expectations realizing that not everyone will come.

    Regarding budget, does $20k need to cover everything including ceremony, reception, attire, airfare and lodging? I would suggest putting together a spreadsheet to see how far your budget can get you. I would also suggest you start looking at venue possibilities and sending out requests for information on cost. I was able to source several possible locations on the North shore of Kauai and after a few brief emails get at least an idea of the venue cost and approximate per person food costs. Some islands are going to be more expensive than others, but overall Hawaii is going to be more costly than your average continental US state. (I say average because I imagine NYC or other big cities might be costly as well.) You should be able to determine how much you're willing to spend on your dress and then determine some approximate costs for flights and hotels. (For example, flights from our area are between $700-1500 per person to Kauai and hotels range from $150-600+/night depending on where you stay.) Most venues can give you a location charge and approximate cost per person for food and drinks. You may also need to pay a coordinator and/or planner. Honestly, I'd start charging into doing some research and figuring out just how much everything is going to cost and whether you can find a location (or more) that fits into your budget. 
  • We got married in Hawaii.  Ours was over $20 000 for 40 people (including out airfare, 10 day stay, etc. and all the home stuff like dress, decor we brought, etc.).  You can find cheaper though, but what we found that rely drove up the price was all the extras - tax, service tax, tips, etc.  I know you'll get that everywhere, but don't forget to factor it in.  

    Here's some things to know about Hawaii.  If you want to get married on the beach, you need a permit (I think $20 last I heard).  These are for the public beaches, so any randoms can walk by or stop and watch.  You are not allowed any structures on the beach while you get married, so no chairs, arches, etc.  With 100+ guests, I think the only way you can get married on the beach is to find a private venue and use their beach.  With a private option, the venue can then provide things like chairs, arches, etc. as it's on their property.  But that will drive up your cost greatly over using a public beach.  

    Lot's of Hawaii Knotties have done a lot of DIY.  Many got their flowers at Costco, or bought their alcohol there (as you can return unopened liquor).  They would use a private venue and supply alcohol, flowers, etc. to cut down on costs.  

    Another thing is your guests.  We invited 125 people.  We also postponed the wedding by a year (15month engagement rather than 3 months) to give people time to save and plan if they wanted to join us.  With only 40 guests, lots still didn't make the trip.  For some, it was financial, others it was having kids and others still it was health/not wanting to travel.  We did invite everyone we wanted there though, but remember that you may still have more declines over a wedding at home (but do prepare for 00%.  One Knottie did have 100% attendance in Maui).  

    Hawaii will be more expensive that an AI since their packages are generally bigger and at an AI (from my research.  For example, my friend got married in Cuba for under $6000.  That wasn't even a starting price in Waikiki hotels).  But you can customize them as well and take out things you don't want to save money.  Start with an island, then find a venue that works in your budget and see what changes you can make if you need to.  I'm sure you can do something for under $20 000, but it may take more work being LD.  Good luck!!

  • The advice on invited vs attendees is REALLY helpful. We have a lot of family who would be coming from the East Coast so I could see us coming in closer to 75 guests even with 100-125 invites. I think the hardest thing I'm having trouble with us the giving up control/trusting in a planner aspect but I do LOVE the idea of whichever family and friends can make it spending a certain number of days celebrating especially since both our extended families are so spread out. Even if we had a hometown wedding to us, almost 80 percent of our invited guests would have to purchase plane tickets and hotel rooms to travel from the East to West coast so there wouldn't be a big cost savings for our guests if we did decide to get married locally. Thanks for the advice/recommendations all!
  • What island are you getting married on?
  • Maui or Kauai are our current front runners
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