Christmas Proposal?!!!

lilacck28

I haven't read responses but: the word you're looking for is defensive, or offended... not defended.

And yes, bad grammar is very annoying and makes it difficult to comprehend your thoughts or your personality. This is an internet forum. The only currency is the written word.

Unless I am given a good reason for why someone's spelling/ grammar is poor (I dunno... dyslexia, second language, dropped out of school at age 8 because of severe hardship)... I'm going to judge. My suggestion, in general, even if there IS a hardship involved: Read more books. It's fun, you'll learn proper grammar , and you won't have people judging your intelligence right off the bat. (I know that if you are learning to read, or dealing with a disability, reading can be difficult and less fun.. but try to find the fun in it anyway.)

lacqueredlover

Damn it I wish I could have seen this train wreck from the beginning.

teddygirl9

GoldenPenguin said:

This seems like a good place for my "shut up" ring. 

*oh snaps!*

Dignity100

I decided I'm going to play nice and lay out all the advice that's really already been given (just in case there are lurkers reading with a similar question).

You need to have a timeline discussion with your BF to see where your relationship is at.  Timelines are fluid, meaning they can change due to various issues (issues can include but are not limited to: financial, health, personal).  Timeline discussions can happen somewhat frequently, I wouldn't recommend having them every day or even every week because that would be entering the 'nagging territory' (although for some types of timeline discussions, weekly might be necessary; probably not this one).  These need to be HONEST discussions, if he's not ready to get engaged, it's up to him to be opened and honest about it and not get your hopes up by saying 'soon'. 

Now because you're afraid you're going to come off as 'ring-grabby' and nagging him to get engaged, that's a whole different type of communication issue that's going on.  You NEED to be able to have open discussions with him on just about any topic.  These open communications should even include the whole 'please don't tease me about getting engaged' and he needs to be receptive (and respectful) of that.  A healthy line of communication - you wouldn't come off as "being a girl who BEGGED for a proposal and just got a ring to shut her up".

From what you said - your engagement will be quick with just going down to city hall with immediate family; In many counties across the country, this can happen within the same week.  You'd need to look to see if there is a 'cool off' period from getting your marriage certificate or if any health tests (such as vaccinations, blood tests, etc) are required.  Your BF might be thinking that when he proposes that things will move rather quickly and maybe he's not ready for that - again this is another discussion you need to have with your BF and technically from your initial timeline as long (depending on your state/county laws regarding marriage) as long as he proposes 1 week before your 28th birthday, you're still on the timeline you posted.

It really sounds like you two need to learn how to communicate with each other better.  You should not feel like you're coming off looking for an engagement when you talk to him and he shouldn't be making you feel that way.

As far as WHEN you will get engaged, we do not know you or your BF.  We do not know his intentions or his personality or his quirks.  The only person that can tell you when he plans on getting engaged is him.

The other thing (even though it hasn't really come up) - every relationship moves at it's own pace.  Some people get engaged within months of meeting/dating each other while others do take years and still other couples choose to live as domestic partners and decide never to get married (this choice does not make their relationship any less committed).