Wedding Dress Remorse

likepara

I am the most cliche bride ever.

But it's true. I bought my wedding dress months ago and now I hate it. 

 It hasn't come in yet. I am getting married in April, and the dress won't be in until February. Wedding dress shopping was HORRIBLE for me - everyone had so many opinions and I tried on so many dresses. I look at pictures to try to get excited, and I show pictures to people, and their reactions are to smile politely. It's totally not the dress I thought I would wear, and I am afraid it is so plain and boring. "Simple" is always the word people use when I show them a pic.

I found a dress that I absolutely loved - but my sister HATED it so much that she ruined it for me, and I basically bought my current dress to make her happy. Now I am regretting it and I don't know what to do! I don't want to resent her for the rest of my life because of this dress... It was also way out of my budget and I had to sign a contract that it is non-refundable and non-cancellable

HELP! Anyone been through anything like this?

raissyrais

I think you made a massive mistake buying a dress for your sister and not for yourself. YOU'RE the one getting married so YOU get to pick whatever dress you deem fit for your wedding. It's not too late to buy another dress. Find out the return and refund policy on your current gown or sell it online. Since it's never been worn, you can still get a good bit of money back.

I went dress shopping with ONE other person. You do not need a million opinions to find your dress. It's also very okay to dress shop on your own. You can start looking online for dresses or if you want the other one you tried on (and that you absolutely loved) go ahead and book an appointment and try it again. No one should buy a wedding dress for themselves because somebody else likes it (especially a sister). If she likes it so much, she can wear it herself for her own damn wedding.

You will feel miserable getting married in your current dress if you hate it so much. You will look at your pictures and feel remorse for the rest of your life. Change your dress and be happy!

redheadbride15

I agree with the PP! Go out there (by yourself! ditch your sister!) and get yourself another dress! Call the stores and tell them your timeline - some designers have much faster turn-arounds than the advertised 4-6 months, or you can buy a sample off the shelf. There are still tons of beautiful dresses out there that you were MADE to get married in!

If your dress is non-refundable then sell it online. Someone else will want it.

By the way, I did all of my dress-shopping solo. I thought I was going to hate the process and I just wanted to get it over-and-done-with with as little drama as possible. I ended up having way more fun than I expected, and walked away with something that makes me feel amazing. You can have this feeling too!

ElcaB

likepara said:

I am the most cliche bride ever.

But it's true. I bought my wedding dress months ago and now I hate it. 

 It hasn't come in yet. I am getting married in April, and the dress won't be in until February. Wedding dress shopping was HORRIBLE for me - everyone had so many opinions and I tried on so many dresses. I look at pictures to try to get excited, and I show pictures to people, and their reactions are to smile politely. It's totally not the dress I thought I would wear, and I am afraid it is so plain and boring. "Simple" is always the word people use when I show them a pic.

I found a dress that I absolutely loved - but my sister HATED it so much that she ruined it for me, and I basically bought my current dress to make her happy. Now I am regretting it and I don't know what to do! I don't want to resent her for the rest of my life because of this dress... It was also way out of my budget and I had to sign a contract that it is non-refundable and non-cancellable

HELP! Anyone been through anything like this?

Obviously you made a few big mistakes when dress shopping, like taking too many people and purchasing a dress to make someone else happy.

What do you hate about the dress? It's simplicity? Shape? Neckline? A lot of these things can be changed. If it's the simplicity, go out and splurge on some awesome accessories. Get a super fancy veil or hairpiece. Try on fabulous statement necklaces. Check out belts and fun shoes. 

If I were you, for now, I'd stop thinking about the dress. Move on to other facets of wedding planning. Stop looking at photos of it. Stop showing it to other people. Then, when you go for your first fitting, glam yourself up with makeup and hair. Have a chat with your alterations person about the possibility of changing a few things about the dress. They may be able to fix it up in a way that will make you love it. 

MandyMost

There could be some easy alterations to make your dress much less simple. Add sleeves or an illusion neckline if it's strapless, add a sash/belt, add some beading or lace or appliques. 

Or just fancy it up with jewelry and a head piece. 

Do you have pictures of the dress YOU loved, and the dress you bought, and we can give more suggestions?

lacqueredlover

If the issue is that it's too plain, there are lots of things you can do to dress it up!  Jewelry, a belt, adding straps, etc.  The dress I bought was mostly lace (which I didn't think I would get but it looked great on me) but I"m adding sparkly straps and a belt to make it more exciting.

What did you get and what did you want?

climbingsingle

I agree with PPs that you can definitely add things to the dress to make it less simple. I added a sash belt to mine. 

likepara

You all are the sweetest most supportive wonderful people!

This is a pic of me in the dress I bought - let me know your thoughts and excuse my stupid face. I feel like i look so boring and fat - maybe this is normal bridal blues

I had wanted something more sexy, and I really wanted something in lace... this is neither... let me know what you think!

redheadbride15

Oh, you look gorgeous in that dress!!! (and definitely NOT fat!). I was expecting something way worse based on what you were saying.

I think you can make it work. I'd definitely look into more decorative sashes. Do you like color, or crystals? If you love lace then you can put it in your veil or a headband or hair comb. Or try a lace shrug.

ElcaB

@likepara, you are killing it in that dress. Jazz it up with accessories & you'll be fine. 

lacqueredlover

Get a veil with lace and add straps and a more exciting belt.  I actually ordered 3 belts and am having my straps made from the belts so they match!

badbnagdway

OP, I think you look very elegant in that dress. It looks flattering to me as well. 

What elements do you wish it had? As other posters have suggested, glamming up a dress a bit is not super hard. 

jenijoyk

First, you look so awesome in that dress! It's beautiful on you! And you can totally jazz it up.

But. I will say. That I purchased my dress too soon, and I hated it. For months. It hung in my closet and I just had a sinking feeling everytime I saw the garmet bag. I came on here, and shared my tale of woe, and lots of very well meaning knotties talked me down from the ledge and told me to stop looking at other dresses and it's just jitters, and my dress was awesome. So more months passed.

Then, seriously a month before my wedding, at my first alterations appointment, I just burst into tears I hated that fucking dress so much. So I ditched it. And went over budget and bought a second dress. I went shopping by myself, on a weeknight, when there were only 1 or 2 other brides at the shop, and explained my dilemma. I found a new dress right away and I loved it. It was a little stressful, given that my final alterations appointment was a whole 3 days before my wedding, but I am so, so, so happy that I did. I felt hot and pretty and sparkly on my wedding day. I freaking loved my second dress.

(The first one is still hanging in my closet though, and I haven't been able to sell it, even after dropping the price to 25% of what I paid. I'm seriously thinking of dying it red and wearing it to some weirdo costume party or something at some point.)

badbnagdway

jenijoyk said:

First, you look so awesome in that dress! It's beautiful on you! And you can totally jazz it up.

But. I will say. That I purchased my dress too soon, and I hated it. For months. It hung in my closet and I just had a sinking feeling everytime I saw the garmet bag. I came on here, and shared my tale of woe, and lots of very well meaning knotties talked me down from the ledge and told me to stop looking at other dresses and it's just jitters, and my dress was awesome. So more months passed.

Then, seriously a month before my wedding, at my first alterations appointment, I just burst into tears I hated that fucking dress so much. So I ditched it. And went over budget and bought a second dress. I went shopping by myself, on a weeknight, when there were only 1 or 2 other brides at the shop, and explained my dilemma. I found a new dress right away and I loved it. It was a little stressful, given that my final alterations appointment was a whole 3 days before my wedding, but I am so, so, so happy that I did. I felt hot and pretty and sparkly on my wedding day. I freaking loved my second dress.

(The first one is still hanging in my closet though, and I haven't been able to sell it, even after dropping the price to 25% of what I paid. I'm seriously thinking of dying it red and wearing it to some weirdo costume party or something at some point.)

Good points. OP, if you are set on lace, and felt that you looked really good in lace, you can't make the dress you bought into a lace dress. You could add a topper in lace but that's going to make it less sexy, not more sexy. Maybe go and try on the dress again and see how you feel. If you still feel shitty about it, talk to the shop and see if it would be possible to cancel your order and get a credit on a dress you love instead. 

You can definitely glam up a dress to a point, but there are limits. 

Again, you OP you look lovely though. 

hyechica81

a thicker belt might work better but i can see you really dont like the dress at all,

when i went dress shopping i took my mom sister and one of my aunts first apointment i found two dresses i liked one i loved the other one was on the fence about. i still wanted to try on more gowns so i made and apointment elsewhere to try on other designers nothing they put me in was working i kept thinking about the dress i loved.  the sales consultant said what is your dream dress i said taffeta with alecon lace pick ups corset back beading on the top of the dress and on the sides of the dress with a lace one shoulder strap i was describing to her the mori lee from the other shop of course this shop did not have anything like the mori lee they carried maggies, allures, marys bridal and a few other designers.

so i went back to the first shop tried on both dress again and said yes to a mori lee  julietta 3098. i was happy i slept on the dress.

see if you can go back explain the deilema and see what they can do for you maybe another bride in your size falls in love with the dress and they can sell her the dress instead and then you can reselect 

kvruns

if lace is a must then I don't think there is much you can do outside of having a veil with lace but that's about it.  But if there are other things to make it feel less plain it's worth it.  I actually really like that dress because that is the style I personally like but I would do a different belt than in the pic

retterin

I personally think that dress is beautiful! It's very Grecian and classic. If you want to jazz it up a little, maybe replace the sash with something wider (which will also emphasize your lovely figure).

Dignity100

I'm going to be completely 100% honest, that dress kind of reminds me of a wedding dress version of Princess Leia's dress from Star Wars.  I think if you added a different belt and maybe put a sparkly/lace cap-sleeve or thick strap on it would take that look away from the dress.  Even though that's what I see, you do look really pretty in the dress.

If you don't love the dress and the shop is not willing to do something even like a re-pick for a different dress, you're only option is to try and sell it and re-pick.  I would go dress shopping alone, let the dress be a surprise to your friends and family.  If you go shopping again, you don't need to buy the dress THAT day, sleep on it.

blabla89

Personally, I love that dress and I think it looks great on you. Very elegant. A good seamstress can give you ideas for alterations that would make this dress more like what you were hoping for. If you're interested in this option, I recommend meeting with the seamstress sooner rather than later. If you want to add some lace, I think your dress lends itself nicely to a lace topper. I really love this one.

ETA: Have you asked the store if you could apply the amount you agreed to pay for your dress to another dress from their store? It may be worth asking.

jenna8984

I had to steal this pic from my friend's Facebook because I don't even know what it's called. But she wore it over a plain strapless gown and it was AMAZING. Maybe you could do that to make it more your style?

badbnagdway

jenna8984 said:

I had to steal this pic from my friend's Facebook because I don't even know what it's called. But she wore it over a plain strapless gown and it was AMAZING. Maybe you could do that to make it more your style?

That's like a an amazing mono-colored dream coat.

futuremrshp

I love the dress and I really think it's gorgeous on you.  I don't think it's 'plain' or 'simple' at all.  It's such a beautiful, sleek line on you (and my goodness you are not fat at all!) instead of a whole bunch of jazz going on. It has such a romantic feel to it!  And that's without the accessories!!!!  Good gracious, the possibilities you can go with this with the accessories and a beautiful smile!    You're set!

But that's my opinion-- what matters is your opinion, how you feel in it and everything.  Whether you decide to keep this dress or get another one, my biggest piece of advice is to not show it to anyone else anymore.  Let it be a surprise for you and your hubby to be.  You don't need anyone else's opinion.  You should not feel harried or like you're being yelled at during this process.  It's your wedding.  And you should look/feel beautiful from now until the moment you walk down that aisle! 

lilacck28

http://www.bhldn.com/shop-shoes-accessories-cover-ups/

I almost wish I bought a strapless dress so I could wear some of these toppers!

lilacck28

ps- I LOVE your dress

LoubieLove

I agree that your current dress is beautiful and you look great in it. Like previous posters have stated, there are lots of possibilities if you think it is too simple.

BUT...

If you don't feel beautiful in this dress and you think there is another one out there that will truly make you feel like a princess, my advice is to find that dress. 

[Deleted User]

futuremrshp said:

I love the dress and I really think it's gorgeous on you.  I don't think it's 'plain' or 'simple' at all.  It's such a beautiful, sleek line on you (and my goodness you are not fat at all!) instead of a whole bunch of jazz going on. It has such a romantic feel to it!  And that's without the accessories!!!!  Good gracious, the possibilities you can go with this with the accessories and a beautiful smile!    You're set!

But that's my opinion-- what matters is your opinion, how you feel in it and everything.  Whether you decide to keep this dress or get another one, my biggest piece of advice is to not show it to anyone else anymore.  Let it be a surprise for you and your hubby to be.  You don't need anyone else's opinion.  You should not feel harried or like you're being yelled at during this process.  It's your wedding.  And you should look/feel beautiful from now until the moment you walk down that aisle! 

All of this.

I love your dress, and I think you look gorgeous in it! Accessories will complete the look.

Knottie0059276

You look absolutely gorgeous and you need to ditch any "friends" who aren't supportive when you show them that dress!! It's definitely not a situation where it's horribly unflattering and you CAN'T wear it, but the other issue is if you don't want to wear it...you have to feel beautiful! Go look around by yourself or with one friend you really trust and see if you can top it. I would show the shop assistants the dress you bought and the dress you loved and see what happens! Good luck

klhunt01

I think it looks absolutely lovely on you, but it really isn't about what I or anyone on this post or any one of your friends/family members think...do you love it? If the answer is no or any way a hesitant yes, then you will likely be disappointed on you and your hubby-to-be's special day as it sounds like the dress is important to you. My two cents: If you can, try to find love in the gown you have by jazzing it up with accessories. If you can't love it, then you have to find some options for a new dress. Either way you go, it will be a beautiful day.

Good luck to you

mcmahontobe121

you look amazing in this dress and really suits your figure!!