Come on, people!

Hummingbird125

I'm shocked this board isn't more active! Come on, ladies! What's going on?

I'm planning a wedding for 5/30/15 at the Bates House in East Setauket, and have most of the major stuff done, but am still looking for hair/makeup and...oh yeah, and an officiant. That's important, right?

What do you have left to do? Or, if your wedding already happened, who were your absolute rockstar vendors?

misskinababy

Hello. My reception is at the Coral House in Baldwin on June 27, 2015. I'm very excited. What I have left is: wedding night hotel, limousine, bridesmaids/groomsman gifts, parents gifts, hair and makeup, bridal shoes, bridal undergarments, and probably a lot more than I can think right now...man, it's a lot more than I thought. 

Hummingbird125

@Misskinababy - Oh nice! I know I emailed the Coral House because I still get emails from them, and I remember really liking everything I read, but then I never got around to checking them out in person. If that's all you have left, I'd say you're doing well!

misskinababy

@Hummingbird125 have you booked a limo company? If so, which company are using? I don't know the first thing about limos.

jltobe23

Hey ladies! I am getting married 5/23/15 at Giorgio's in Baiting Hollow.  I have a lot done but I feel like its the little things I am stressed about. Invitations are going to be the death of me lol.

@misskinababy I am using Sir Oliver limos.  They had the best prices for what we need.

misskinababy

Oh shoot! Invitations!! I forgot I have to order those too. I finally found the ones that I like, after months of searching. I can finally order them once we meet with the...I guess you can say planner...at the church and get a start time for the ceremony. I feel like the closer I get to to my wedding date, the more stressed out I'm going to be. And thanks for the suggestion @JessGuess23

jltobe23

Yeah I have been so indecisive with invitations. the more I look the more confused and frustrated I get.  Plus my fiancé HAS to have a monogram letter on it. lol Hopefully the one I just ordered a sample of will be the winner! Also I have been having a hard time trying to figure out what gifts to get my bridesmaids, any ideas?

Does anyone have any suggestions for a nice place to have our rehearsal dinner? 

misskinababy

I'm also looking for bridesmaids dresses. My MOH found her dress but when she went to order it, they no longer had her size. So now we're back to square one. I want her to wear a beaded dress and have the BM wear dresses that tie in some sort of beading/sequins. So yeah, that's my major stressor. Any of you ladies have your ladies wear beaded or sequined dresses?

Bridesmaids gifts--here are some ideas: monogrammed robes, nail polish sets, skincare sets, iPhone cases, tote bags, picture frames, perfume...

Does anyone have a recommendation for an amazing day-of-coordinator? 

Hummingbird125

@misskinababy - Not using a limo service. Our ceremony and reception are at the same location, so it just feels like that money would be better spent elsewhere. 

As far as a Day-of-Coordinator, I just hired Gina - Details Wedding Coordination (detailsbygina@aol.com). 

Can't say if she's amazing yet, since we haven't used her for anything, but we both (and my mom) loved her when we met her in person a few weeks ago, and she has really strong reviews online as well.

For invitations I'm going to design and print them myself. I've done it for friends before and have Adobe InDesign. I just have to figure out what I want them to look like, and then buy some nice cardstock to print on!

I have NO IDEA what we're doing for a rehearsal dinner. FI's parents haven't offered to host one yet, and our budget cannot accommodate a nice restaurant dinner for all, so it may just be a casual meal at my parents' house - maybe with some Italian food brought in.

misskinababy

Thanks for the suggestion @Hummingbird125. 

I don't think I'm going to have a rehearsal dinner. Is that even necessary?

Hummingbird125

@misskinababy - It's only necessary if you have a rehearsal. If you're asking your wedding party potentially to travel to wherever your wedding is a day earlier, or even just spend a few hours out of their day to "rehearse", the polite thing to do is to treat them to a meal.

In my case, some of our wedding party lives 2-5 hours away and I don't think I'm comfortable asking them to come down a day early and pay for another night at a hotel, so I'm not sure if we're doing a rehearsal. If we don't, we still might have a small "rehearsal dinner" just for our families (who still haven't met yet... so that could be the first time they meet - eeek!!) and for any members of the bridal party that would like to come.

Niccolinas

Our wedding date is 5/23/15...I feel like I have most things done but I'm panicking about details. Here are my vendors so far: Christina Amador- make up Randi Ross-hair Flowers-Black Dahlia Wedding planner-Karyn Michael Manninos for rehearsal dinner Bridesmaid gifts are still in progress. So far I have large Longchamps totes in a deep purple (purple is the wedding color). Not sure what I want to put in them.

Hummingbird125

@Niccolinas - Congrats on having most things done! Yes, unfortunately it is actually time to start worrying about the details!

Do your MUA and hair stylist have reasonable rates? I'm still looking...

Niccolinas

@Hummingbird125‌- I thought they were reasonable. The MUA includes lashes and uses airbrush. I did a lot of research (I'm a little picky when it comes to hair/makeup) and they were both highly rated. Here's their websites: christinaamadorbeauty.com randirosshairdesign.com Also, regarding the rehearsal dinner... I felt super uncomfortable asking ppl from out of town to come a day earlier too. When I mentioned I was considering skipping it I was surprised to hear that the ppl from out of town were looking forward to it. My fiancés groomsmen said they wouldn't miss a free meal and booze 2 nights in a row. Lol

cstar1015

@misskinababy - LI Wedding twins! I am having mine at Land's End in Sayville

Invitations - We used Fat Cat Paperie -- Katie was AMAZING to work with. She was patient and thorough, and the items they have are beautiful. We just approved the proof and waiting on printing to be finished.

Limo - We're using All Star Limo. I know a couple that used them for their wedding and had a great experience. Wedding transportation for guests was important for us, so we're just renting a coach bus for the day to drop us off, then take the guests. 

Bridesmaids Gifts - So far I've gotten them earrings and a kate spade clutch to use. I have two bridesmen, so I bought their bowtie, and luggage tag and passport holder.  Thinking of getting everyone a canvas tote to hold their stuff for the weekend too. How much is everyone spending on their bridal party? No one in my party is local (Midwest, West Coast and Philadelphia), so I know they're spending a lot on travel to the shower, bachelorette and wedding.

Hair/Makeup - my hairdresser in Philly is from Long Island, so I'm going to pay for her travel expenses up so she can make a weekend out of it.

What's left - finishing up gifts, ceremony details/programs, tasting to pick out our menu and cake, we're looking at suits for the groomsmen today, rings and I'm sure a lot more little details that will pop up!

What's everyone doing for their bachelorette party?

cstar1015

@Hummingbird - We're using Keith from nymarriages.com. We obviously haven't used him yet, but my experience talking with him on the phone was like talking to an old friend. He made us feel very comfortable about what we wanted for the ceremony.

jltobe23

@cstar1015 I almost had my wedding at Lands End. Its beautiful there! 

As for my bachelorette party.... my fiancé is doing an all inclusive resort so I don't want my party to be lame lol I think we are going to do a weekend thing in Ocean City Maryland. If that doesn't work out just a night out I the city.

And about bridal party gifts, I already bought earrings for the girls and nice spring pocketbooks. I am trying to figure out what else I could put in the pocket books either for the day of the wedding or just gifts for saying thank you! My fiancé bought engraved pocket watches for the guys. 

cstar1015

@JessGuess23 -I feel the pressure too. FI is going to New Orleans in March and he has an entourage of 15+ guys coming along for an epic weekend. Right now the finalist for mine is looking like Scottsdale, AZ - Florida was top pick but I want to be mindful of having the bridal party living in 5 different states (it was going to take the West Coast people 7+ hours with connections, pass on that!) A co-worker had her bachelorette in OCMD last summer and had a great time. 

I'm stumped on what else to put in for gifts as well! It feels incomplete but just looking at how much I already spent on gifts x 8 is adding up quick. Although, this whole experience I feel like everything is so expensive, what's another couple of hundred? (Haha, funny/not funny). 

jltobe23

@cstar1015 Wow New Orleans that's awesome. My FI is going to Dominican Republic and its a double bachelor party since our friend is getting married in August.  And the only problem with OC for me is that its still kinda cold in april, so who knows if there will be anything to do.

I have spent a lot already too, since I have 11 girls including my girl ring barer and my flower girl.  Everything IS Expensive   I was thinking flip flops if they wanted to change during the reception, and maybe another gift that fits their interests. like 3 of my friends/FSIL love wine so I was thinking a wine glass. But I don't know, what do you think?

cstar1015

@JessGuess23 - I can't speak for OCMD, but we do summers at the South Jersey Shore Points (SIC) and the "offseason" is one of my favorite times. You might not be able to get beach time, but you avoid the crowds and the higher costs, and you sort of have "free reign" on the town. I would check to see if most restaurants and bars are open at that point, and if they are, I think you'd have a lot of fun! If you're looking for a crazier kind of atmosphere though, I don't know if it'll be that by then, however.

I love the flip flop idea - you reminded me that I wanted to do that, so we're on the same page. I like the idea of doing a personalized gift to each girl too - maybe a nice wine glass (red or white wine glass depending on what they like) - with a nice bottle of wine?

Hummingbird125

@JessGuess123 and @cstar1015 - I think I've decided to do robes for my birdemaids gifts - right now, I'm thinking these: http://store.plumprettysugar.com/lilou-short-robe-ciel/ + a bottle of wine.

However, I only have 4 BM's (I'll get something different for my flower girl), so it's a little easier. I'll get a robe for myself too, and I figure we can wear them while getting ready!

As far as bachelor/bachelorette party - MY MOH is surprising me, but I'm 99% sure that it will be a night out in NYC (dinner then bar hopping) and staying at a hotel, then brunch in the morning. About half of the girls coming also have another friend getting married two weeks before me, so I told my MOH to try to keep the night as budget-friendly as possible (since we all have two weddings to attend, two bridal showers, and two bachelorette parties!). I'm pretty sure that she structured it so that friends can come along for dinner and/or drinks, but they don't have to stay at the hotel (most friends live in the area) etc. I know she had considered a group trip to Vegas, but I told her that what would make me happiest is having the most people there!

I'm pretty sure FI's B-party will be a weekend in Atlantic City or up at Foxwoods Casino in CT - his friends like to gamble and play golf.

@cstar1015 - I think a pair of nice wine glasses and a bottle of decent wine would be a very nice gift!

misskinababy

I'm not going to do a bachelorette party. Frankly, I don't see the point. I'll be 29 when I get married (I'm no longer a party animal), my fiancé and I live together, and about half my bridal party is in other states. 

And I'm still working on the bridesmaids gifts and my man of honor gift. I know for sure I'm going to get the girls a tote bag with the letter of their first name on it. For my man of honor...I have no idea yet.

jltobe23

@cstar1015 That's so funny, I was thinking about getting three of my bridesmaids wine stuff because they love wine.  The other one doesn't drink but she's obsessed with Iced tea so maybe a mason jar and her favorite iced tea. and the other one likes margaritas so maybe do something like that for her.  what do you think?

@Hummingbird125 I wanted my bachelorette party to be a surprise too, but since my sister told me that none of my girls can afford a weekend thing, I just ( yesterday) decided to do a night out in NYC too. Was thinking dinner, drinks maybe a show. They have this funny show called sex tips for straight women from a gay man. I heard its hysterical and they have a groupon for it. 

Back to the gifts: I am so stuck on what to get my flower girl and my ring barer ( both girls ) flower girl is 6 ring girl is 10

cstar1015

@Hummingbird - Love love love those robes! I think that's a great idea

@Jess - I think that's a great idea to personalize for your bridesmaids. If you don't want to do a full bottle of tequila for her, maybe a jar of some really fancy margarita salt with the glass? The iced tea idea is cute.

I haven't even begun to think of the flower girl (6) and ring barer (4) The flower girl loves all things sparkly, so I can't imagine it to be too hard...but I haven't even thought of it!

@misskinbaby - For my bridesmen, so far I've done a leather passport holder and matching luggage tag for them. I'm thinking of also getting them a canvas bag from LL Bean for the beach and things - not entirely sure. What about a money clip? One of my gifts for my FI awhile back was a money clip with our college logo on the front and his initials on the back. He loved it! 

@all -- as its getting closer, do you find bridezilla-thoughts creeping up in your head? I have not acted on these thoughts as I know they're silly problems, but as the date is nearing up and I feel like everyone has some sort of demand or different opinion or problem, I'm fighting the urge to just say "just figure it out!".  I realize that my day is really only *truly* important to me and the FI and no one else is worrying/thinking about the details, as they shouldn't have to.  Exercise helps with keeping my nerves/patience in check, but I know I just don't want to be this way.  I feel better venting here and keeping my bridal party (who's doing a lot already) out of it

Hummingbird125

@cstar1015 - I felt a little bit bridezilla-ish last week! My youngest sister and my MOH when dress shopping together. My only requirement for all 4 BM's was "long" and "dark navy or midnight blue". My youngest sister found a dress that I adore (sweetheart  neckline, chiffon) and it will look great next to the dress that one of my other BM's ordered a few months ago (chiffon, but with straps/v-neck). My MOH, however, fell in love with a VERY different dress - it's the right color, but its lace, with a high neckline, sleeveless, with a low back, with a ribbon belt that ties in the back. It looks a lot more formal that the other dresses, and wasn't what I was envisioning for a Spring wedding. I asked her if I could think about it a little bit before she ordered it, but that night I told her it was fine and to go ahead and order it. It might look a little out of place, but I figured #1) she's my MOH, so it's okay if she's dressed a little differently and stands out more and #2) what does it really matter? I'll probably have one photo of the wedding party framed. Is it worth telling my best friend she can't wear a dress she LOVES for the aesthetics of one picture? I didn't think so.

Let's just hope she remembers how easygoing I was when she gets married and its my turn have my outfit chosen...

cstar1015

@hummingbird125 - I don't think that's odd at all - and I think the right lace would look nice for a spring wedding! I might be biased, because my bridesmaids are wearing the navy lace dresses from J. Crew, but I don't think she'll look out of place at all. I gave all of my BMs a choice from that J Crew collection, and they all ended up picking the illusion neckline, so they'll have a higher neckline in June too.

I actually got into that "it's one picture, who cares" moments with the suits, of all things. My FI's groomsmen all decided (besides my brother, who's standing on his side) to buy suits, but my brother and my bridesmen I wanted to give a renting option as well. Well, my brother didn't want to rent or buy, so asked me to send the swatch so he could compare to what he already had. I took some calm breaths and realized more likely I'll have the picture of my family framed than the pictures of me and the groomsmen framed - and do I really care the grey is going to be slightly off? I work in fashion and I'm fussy when picking out greys for what I'm buying, but for the wedding, I just gotta let it go. Breathe in, breathe out, and get my butt to Pure Barre tomorrow morning

jltobe23

@Hummingbird125 @cstar1015 I too have been feeling the stresses as the date nears.  My FI is having a Best Woman and we recently just decided on the tuxes for the groomsmen.  When we were discussing what she should wear she came up with the idea of her wearing the same dress as my bridesmaids but in black to match the guys. I loved the idea, I am a huge fan of symmetry and things coordinating lol.  Anyway, just recently she told my FI that she found a different black dress and asked him if it was ok if she didn't get the same dress. At first I was really mad, why would you suggest something and then take it upon yourself to change it.  I had to take A LOT of deep breaths, but I realized that she is not going to be in many photos with the girls and it really isn't that big of a deal.  Thank god I got over that, I don't need to be stressing about a dress that someone else is wearing. 

Ps. what have your bridesmaids helped with? mine haven't done one thing lol

@cstar1015Where do you take Pure Barre?

cstar1015

@JessGuess23 - I hear ya. I feel like things that I said I absolutely 100% would not care about if it was changed or went wrong say 9, 10 months ago, are starting to bother me. I think it's just when the checks having to start being written and every tiny detail is begging to be bought, you start to realize how much money you're spending, and if you're spending enough for a car on one day, you're realizing if you're dropping this much money, it better damn well be perfect, haha.

My bridesmaids I know have been coordinating with my Mom to work on the shower, they're in process of planning the weekend bachelorette, and my one local BM has awesomely taken upon herself  without me asking for one to throw a Philly bachelorette to include the girls that I'm friends with here that aren't part of the bridal party/aren't going to AZ but still want to celebrate. My one friend who was living in NYC before moving to the west coast came with me to help with the venue and hunt for dresses. There's a lot of moving parts and schedules with my friends spread thin across the USA so I know they've been all great in coordinating to come to as much as time and their budgets will allow. I also know that some people in the BP were going to be more hands on in the process, and I knew when choosing some that their help was going to be limited to showing up, and I was OK with that. Honestly though, as much as my mom and I have butted heads on things, she's been taking command and a huge help, especially being the only person on the island! My dad's helped out a lot too (accompanying my Mom on all these trips!)

I take Pure Barre in Philly-- last time I checked I don't think there was one on the Island, but if you work in the City and are close to one of the studios, I absolutely recommend it. I've ran a half-marathon, I shared a personal trainer with a friend, I did the cult-favorite Lithe Method for about a year, and I have not seen results so quickly like I have with Pure Barre.  Not sure on the NYC prices, but a lot of studios have a $100 unlimited first month new client special, and then there's a "Bride to Be" package which is $325 for 3 months unlimited. Buying it by the class gets really expensive ($23 a class!) but you can also do a 6 month contract for $150 a month, which, if you're going 4-5 times a week, is completely worth it. I haven't tried any other Barre Method, but I'm sure they're pretty similar I think! 

Hummingbird125

@JessGuess23 - I haven't asked my BM's for much help as far as wedding planning. Two of mine (one sister and one friend) live in MA, and the other two (sister and best friend/MOH) live on Long Island while I'm in the Bronx, so I don't see them all the time. However, my MOH threw us an awesome surprise engagement party over the summer, and I know she and my youngest sister have been planning my (also surprise) bachelorette party together. I think my mom and step-grandmother are planning my shower, but all I know about that is the tentative date.

jltobe23

I just wasn't sure if you ladies actually delegated tasks for your bridesmaids. You know you read all this stuff and it says when your planning your wedding let other people help you that's what they are there for.  I personally haven't asked for much help because I am so indecisive they would probably get frustrated lol.  But I do know my sister (MOH) and my mom have been planning my surprise bridal shower but I am not sure if anyone else has helped. And my MOH is planning my bachelorette party as well. 

cstar1015

Wishing all of you guys a safe storm stocked with lots of wine! We're not supposed to get it as bad here in Philly, but my parents have been keeping me informed that it's going to be bad on the Island!