Name Change Rant - How many f*ing hours of my life will this take????

jenijoyk

Because right now I'm up to three, and I haven't actually accomplished anything. Waited at the County Clerk's office for 40 minutes to get a copy of my marriage certificate. Waited at the DMV for 35 minutes before they told me that they won't let me fill out my form until I've gone to social security first. Even though I haven't read that you need to do these things in some special order, anywhere. Then this morning I waited at the Social Security Office for over an hour, and had moved about 5 feet forward in a line that went out the door and around the building. I mean, I don't even know what tasks are accomplished at a Social Security Office? Why are there 100 people in line there, on a Thursday morning?? Why does it take each person in this line 30+ minutes at the counter when they finally make it to the front?? I couldn't handle it and had to just leave. And roll into work two hours late, with absolutely nothing to show for it.

I AM SO FRUSTRATED. Apparently you just have to take an entire day off work to accomplish these tasks.

labro

That sucks. I had a pretty easy experience. Maybe 15 minutes at the Probate Court to get certified copies of our license. 45 minutes at Social Security. 30 minutes at the DMV. I DID go to Social Security first because for some reason I thought our DMV wouldn't accept my name change without proof of the change at Social Security. Apparently they still would but I'm glad I did what I did. I also spread it out over a couple of days because I didn't want to waste my entire day in a bunch of government offices.

I honestly think the banks were some of our longer waits. One of them nearly didn't let me change my name because I hadn't received my new SS card even though I had an updated driver's license.

IrishPirate60

It's the first week of the month. Most govt offices are busy then, but especially Social Security.

esstee33

Yep, changing your name is a massive pain in the ass. 

The Social Security office is slammed because anyone receiving SSI benefits or anything like that will have to come into the office to deal with them. I had to get a replacement social security card recently and it took FOREVER. At like 11am on a Tuesday. Not first thing in the morning, not when people typically take lunch, just a random mid-morning time. 

Can you make an appointment with the social security office so you don't have to sit and wait forever next time? 

abbyj700

Relax, it'll be okay!

I'm going through the process right now as well. We got our marriage certificate in the mail along with information on how to change my name. TK also has an article about what to do first - and SS is the first on the list. If you're office seems to be pretty busy - you can go on their website, print out the form and include the documentation you need and send it in. It may end up taking more days -but not more of your time in person. 

From SS - it's off to the BMV, and then after those 2 places you have 2 forms of ID with your new name! So it's off to banks, calling credit card companies, etc! 

Remember - it's all worth being a new bride! :-) 

Teddy917

Social Security takes a while because there are several different problems and certain people are assigned to each specific problem. So if the next available person is not dealing with the issues that the next person in line needs help with, they have to wait for a different person.

Also some of the problems are more complicated than a name change. Disability claims take forever. I've never gone in for a problem other than my name and my husband's disability claim. But each time, we blocked off a whole day for it.

climbingsingle

Ugh, that totally sucks! I'm lucky to have had an easy experience, albeit with some tips from my friends. I actually got to the social security office before the opened. There was already a line of 3 people waiting, but I got in and out pretty quickly. 

I did the same with the DMV once I had my new SS card. I got there right after they opened. Someone was telling me you can now make appointments - at least in NY. I'm not sure how other states work. 

princessleia22

Yeah... it sucks. 

I waited about 3 hours at Social Security.  Once I finally got to the window, it took less than 10 minutes. Apparently it's best to get there really early, like 1/2 hour or more before they open.  And middle of the week is usually slower than Friday or Monday.

(FYI... Check to see if you have to wait between SS office and DMV.  I had to wait 48 hours before DMV so it could get updated in their computer system.)

Then I waited over 2 hours at DMV.  Same thing here... show up before opening.  You will still wait for doors to open, but it's likely to be less of a wait than if you came at opening time.  

After those items, luckily most things can be handled over phone or mail.

slothiegal

APPOINTMENTS.  I can't endorse that suggestion enough.  I wasn't able to make one for the SS office, but I did for the DMV, which saved me, without a doubt, hours.

I've only made those two changes so far...my plan is to change other things as they crop up.  

jenijoyk

Ugh. I know. It doesn't help that I wasn't 100 percent on board with changing my name in the first place, so now I'm just extra bitter!!!!!! I'm just going to take an entire day off work next week (I need my new passport ASAP, it expires in February, which is why I need to handle all this this week or next instead of spreading it out which would probably be better for my sanity) and get as much done as possible. We have DMV appointments here, but the earliest is always a month or two away. Because that's helpful!

Thanks for the tips. I'll plan on getting to SS before it opens, and just adjust my expectations of competency and efficiency. I actually already have all my forms filled out, it's just the waiting in the lines that makes me want to scratch out my eyes.

theartistformerlyknownas

SS is a pain because generally speaking, people who need to go there aren't working, either due to retirement, disability, or maternity leave. So it's busy at ALL times of the day, with people who may not be in any particular hurry. There were a good dozen people ahead of me in line within minutes of our office opening. It was ridiculous.

Make sure you check to see if there's a way you can make an appointment/"check in" online with the DMV before you try that again. We do drivers licenses at Secretary of State here, but they put the sign promoting their mobile check-in (send a text message to a certain number to reserve your spot in line, and it texts you back when your place is coming up) up at the FRONT of the giant line to check in, instead of the back. Thanks a lot, I stood in line for half an hour just to see the sign saying I didn't have to do that. 

jenna8984

Boo! You must live in a pretty large city for the lines to take that long. I started at my town hall at 9am, SS, then DMV and there was definitely waiting but I was done all of them by 1pm. Hopefully if you take a day off and get there real early you will breeze through and have your afternoon free!

jenijoyk

jenna8984 said:

Boo! You must live in a pretty large city for the lines to take that long. I started at my town hall at 9am, SS, then DMV and there was definitely waiting but I was done all of them by 1pm. Hopefully if you take a day off and get there real early you will breeze through and have your afternoon free!

Yes, I think I will try to be more strategic about which offices I go to on my Government Office Hell Day. I live in a smaller city, but work in a large city and have been hitting up the DMV and SS near my office. In a failed attempt at being more efficient. Next week, it'll be the burbs for sure.

jenijoyk

Also, thank you guys for letting me rant! I sent a long ranty text message to my husband pointing out the sexist nature of these tasks. He wisely chose not to respond, but I could feel his eye roll even from 20 miles away. Sometimes you just need to rant!

SmileDamnit

Ugh. I'm sorry you're having a rough go of it. I lucked out and has a super quick and painless experience, but I've gone to battle with gov't office in the past for other reasons and can appreciate how crazy making it can be. 

Hopefully things speed up for you!

teddygirl9

Be glad you don't live in Quebec! They strongly discourage changing your name, and they make it a pain in the ass (and ~15k charge is what my colleagues mother had to pay).

 

But it still sucks. At least nowadays you have mobile internet. Imagine back 20 or 30 years ago when you just had to wait =\

jenijoyk

teddygirl9 said:

Be glad you don't live in Quebec! They strongly discourage changing your name, and they make it a pain in the ass (and ~15k charge is what my colleagues mother had to pay).

 

But it still sucks. At least nowadays you have mobile internet. Imagine back 20 or 30 years ago when you just had to wait =\

Whaaaaaaaat.

teddygirl9

Yup. It's a weird place. http://www.canada.com/topics/news/national/story.html?id=72ddc06b-4660-4b92-8b92-3a26ae24b377

 

This article says it's illegal, but if you have enough money you can get around it I guess.

jenijoyk

Oh my god! My mind is blown! I mean, I'm not even a big fan of the tradition, but it's so disturbing that the government just makes that decision for you! I mean...... whaaaaat.

teddygirl9

Yeah it's actually very odd. But all the people that I work with from there get so confused when people change their names. Theyre like 'Ok, I know Emily Brown...I wonder if Emily Black is the same girl..' and veryone else its like, yeah, duh, she got married.

misshart00

I mailed in all of my paperwork for my SS card. It took about a week and they mailed it back.

sarawifenow

I'm sorry.

 

I've always heard that you need to go to the SS first so I went there first thing when they opened. Luckily, my experience was a fairly painless one. We got our certified copies right away, 30 min at SS, then an hour at the DMV.

 

It is so worth it in the end!

artbyallie

Wow. Try again at SS, maybe a different office and in the mid-afternoon if you can? I was in and out in like 15 minutes when I did mine. I did find out ahead of time to do that one first though, sorry you didn't know about that.

jenijoyk

smichek said:

Because I live in fucking MAYBERRY, our DMV is only open 8-4:30 M-F. When do I work? 7-4:30, M-F. But one day we had a school emergency so I had a week day off. Grabbed my shit, went to DMV, waited in line for over an hour (there were 6 employees and 4 people in front of me...no clue why the line barely budged for an hour). Then suddenly the line moved super fast and I got to the front, showed them all my paperwork aaaaaand "Miss, this isn't your original birth certificate." "What?????" "This is a laser copy. The real one will be on textured paper." Cue freak out. Called my parents...dad had the real one this whole time and didn't want me to have it because control issues. So now it's being mailed to me. But I have to wait 2.5 more weeks before I have a free weekday to go to the DMV. Every interwebs source I've found says nothing about going to social security or even the clerk's office; just the DMV. I still went to the clerk's office first to be sure and they even said just to go to the DMV...but I think I'll be giving SS a call tomorrow to make sure I don't waste more time at the DMV.

You are not alone, OP.

This is what makes me crazy. I definitely do not live in Mayberry, and our DMV closes at 5. And the SS office is open from 9am to 3pm. What??? So ridiculous.

theartistformerlyknownas

jenijoyk said:

smichek said:

Because I live in fucking MAYBERRY, our DMV is only open 8-4:30 M-F. When do I work? 7-4:30, M-F. But one day we had a school emergency so I had a week day off. Grabbed my shit, went to DMV, waited in line for over an hour (there were 6 employees and 4 people in front of me...no clue why the line barely budged for an hour). Then suddenly the line moved super fast and I got to the front, showed them all my paperwork aaaaaand "Miss, this isn't your original birth certificate." "What?????" "This is a laser copy. The real one will be on textured paper." Cue freak out. Called my parents...dad had the real one this whole time and didn't want me to have it because control issues. So now it's being mailed to me. But I have to wait 2.5 more weeks before I have a free weekday to go to the DMV. Every interwebs source I've found says nothing about going to social security or even the clerk's office; just the DMV. I still went to the clerk's office first to be sure and they even said just to go to the DMV...but I think I'll be giving SS a call tomorrow to make sure I don't waste more time at the DMV.

You are not alone, OP.

This is what makes me crazy. I definitely do not live in Mayberry, and our DMV closes at 5. And the SS office is open from 9am to 3pm. What??? So ridiculous.

All the SS's in metro-Detroit are open from 9-3 as well. And the County Clerk I had to go to get our marriage certificate was only 8-3 on Thursdays. Yep, one day a week. Super.

Definitely go to SS first, @smichek. Pretty sure you can't change your name at the state level until it's changed at the federal level, so SS always has to be first.

huskypuppy14

I think the reason you need to go to SS first, because your social security number needs to match your new name. And your SS card doesn't expire.If you change your name at the DMV first, your ID will not match your SS number if for whatever reason (lines) you don't end up changing it there. 

If you change your SS, you'll eventually have to change your ID to your new name once your ID expires if you don't do it right away.

misshart00

Also, FWIW, I changed everything before I changed my SS card. Not every state is the same.

KytchynWitche

I haven't been able to take any steps on the path to namechangery yet, because South Africa works a little differently.

Firstly, all officiants whether civil or religious MUST be registered with the Department of Home Affairs (which seems to be fairly similar to SS). Anyone can perform a ceremony, but it won't be legal if your officiant isn't DHA. 

On your wedding day you sign a form, which the officiant submits to the DHA, with a copy of your antenuptial contract if you chose to have one (we did). On the form, you fill in both your maiden name and your married name (if you're changing, hyphenating, whatever) and the DHA then takes care of that on the register of citizens or whatever. 

You get a copy of your abridged marriage certificate when you sign the form, but unfortunately you can't actually do anything with it until the marriage is actually registered on the DHA's system - a process which can take up to 2 months. I just checked my marital status online (which thankfully you can do now) and I'm still listed as single, so obviously it hasn't gone through yet.

Until the marriage actually shows on the DHA system, I can't get my new ID or passport, both of which are also done at the DHA. So it's lots of waiting right now, and then it'll be a full day at DHA (because I'm in a regional center, so they're always packed, andplusalso they don't know what the frack they're doing).

And without my new ID/passport I can't:

Change my name at the bank - this one should be fairly quick, my bank is pretty on the ball about stuff like this, but it could be a whole morning exercise if they decide to be snotty about things

Change my name at the university - this could take forever, I have no idea how to go about changing it (it's a distance university), and it may have to wait until May (when I'll be in the city where the university is again) which may have the not so great side effect of preventing me from registering for second session next year...

Go for my drivers (because it would be issued in maiden name and I'd have to change it again later)

Right now the only places I actually use my married name are on Facebook and online orders, and that makes me more than a little sad.

Edited because I forgot to make the point of my whole essay: I feel your pain.

lovesclimbing

Social Security didn't take long for me.  It was quick and pretty painless.  I was in college at the time, so I could go pretty much whenever wanted that wasn't a class time, so I went mid-morning.

DMV took a while but not too bad compared to the previous time I'd been there when I had to renew my license. It was the day my license expired, so I go to get it and they tell me I have to take this alcohol awareness test because I wasn't grandfathered in (you were grandfathered in if you got your license before xyz date).  Well, I'd gotten a license a couple different times and never had a problem.  So they don't tell me I have to take this test until I get to the table, ten minutes before they shut down the machines and close (I'd been sitting for 45 minutes or more at this point).  So they give me a drivers manual to study, which I do really quick, and then take the test.  I got four wrong.  You could only get three wrong.  They tell me I can't take it again until the next day.  I just about flipped out on that woman.  The state's stupid test put an unlicensed driver on the road.  (I was tempted to try to get pulled over just so I could fight that sort of thing in court and sue the state because if it weren't for their test, I would have gotten my license that day.  But I didn't.)

Also, the test is supposed to make you more alcohol aware or whatever and keep you from driving drunk.  It was SO stupid.  The reason I don't know how many shots it takes to get you over the BAC level is because I don't take shots!  I rarely even drink!

So then I had to go back and do it again the next day.  The lady asks for your phone before you do it, and she'd done it the day before but forgot to that day.  So after I get back after taking the test, she was like "Oh, what about your phone?"  I said I didn't have one with me.  It was in my pocket.  I never cheated or looked at it, but that gave me a small sense of satisfaction.

I still think about complaining to the state about their absurd system.

jenna8984

@smichek You live in the states or Canada? Why did you need a birth certificate at the DMV? That's odd, I just handed them the paper the SS office gave me and that was it, they didn't even ask for the marriage license. And you don't need to wait for your dad's to come in the mail, you could have gone to the town hall where you were born and gotten one (not a copy).

huskypuppy14

jenna8984 said:

@smichek You live in the states or Canada? Why did you need a birth certificate at the DMV? That's odd, I just handed them the paper the SS office gave me and that was it, they didn't even ask for the marriage license. And you don't need to wait for your dad's to come in the mail, you could have gone to the town hall where you were born and gotten one (not a copy).

Maybe she doesn't live in the area she was born?

All this bullshit makes me glad I didn't change my name when I got married,