SO of Cousins

crimsonbride1031

So...This may kind of go with a similar post from someone named snakelady that just posted recently, but I'm confused on etiquette in this particular situation of mine. So, on my mom's side of the family, I have cousins aged 2 to 28. Is it poor ettiquite that I dont give them plus ones when I'm trying to keep the wedding family orientated. Now, I'm not super close with that side of the family, but we do talk even if my mom refuses to acknowledge they exist. Due to my horrible work schedule, I never get to go to the family gatherings. I know some cousins have boyfriends. (Most of all my cousins are girls. There's only two boys, one is 14 and the other is 28).  Theres sisters that one is 14, then 17, then 22.  I don't want to offend one cousin by inviting her boyfriend and not the others, but im trying to not let my guest list get out of control. I just don't want to break any etiquette rules and make people angry, which i know is also unavoidable.

banana468

If a cousin has a SO and is old enough to vote, you need to invite the SO.

lovegood90

You need to invite the SOs of your cousins that are over 18. If you don't have the budget, then don't invite the cousin at all. SOs are a social unit and need to be invited together.

ETA: just for clarity, anyone over the age of 18 would get their own invitation, and anyone under the age of 18 if they are still living with their parents would go on their parents' invites. So your 22 year old cousin will get her own invite with her and her SO, and your 14 and 17 year old cousins (assuming they are living with their parents) will go on their parents' invitation, no need to invite their SOs as they aren't legally adults. 

JCbride2015

crimsonbride1031 said:

So...This may kind of go with a similar post from someone named snakelady that just posted recently, but I'm confused on etiquette in this particular situation of mine. So, on my mom's side of the family, I have cousins aged 2 to 28. Is it poor ettiquite that I dont give them plus ones when I'm trying to keep the wedding family orientated. Now, I'm not super close with that side of the family, but we do talk even if my mom refuses to acknowledge they exist. Due to my horrible work schedule, I never get to go to the family gatherings. I know some cousins have boyfriends. (Most of all my cousins are girls. There's only two boys, one is 14 and the other is 28).  Theres sisters that one is 14, then 17, then 22.  I don't want to offend one cousin by inviting her boyfriend and not the others, but im trying to not let my guest list get out of control. I just don't want to break any etiquette rules and make people angry, which i know is also unavoidable.

You must invite the SO of any guest who is 18 or older.  That means anybody the guest identifies as being in a relationship with/ boyfriend/ girlfriend/ partner, whatever.  If you aren't sure, just ask, "Hey, Cousin Rob, are you seeing anybody lately?"

What you don't need to do is provide a +1 for single guests.  Cousin Sally doesn't have a partner right now?  No need to give her "and guest."  

yogablossom

I agree with previous posters. SOs of cousins need to be invited if they are 18 or over.  If they are in high school, then you can use your discretion. It'd be nice to invite their SOs, but it's not really mandatory.