What the hell did you just say? Work edition!

Chipmunk415

What's the craziest thing someone has recently said to you?

My 28th birthday was the Friday before Thanksgiving. Later in the day, my irritating co worker ( turned 65 earlier in the month, several of us refer to her as "the Queen" due to her high nosed attitude towards everyone but the boss lady), found out that I was now 28. She immediately told me that I had to get pregnant. Right. Fucking. Now. She apparently had twins when she was 28. Woop dee friggin doo.

The fact that I'm not planning on getting pregnant for another two years is supposedly a TRAVESTY. Further, according to her, waiting till I'm 30 will mean I'm too old to get pregnant, and women who have children past 30 have several problems with pregnancy, namely 1) your body doesn't bounce back as svelte as it would in your 20s, and 2) babies born to women over 30 have "problems" (ie, physical and mental). My mom was 37 when she had me. My sister was 36 when she had her eldest, and we all turned out ok, thankyouverymuch.

I deserve wine and cookies because I did not belt her right then and there. This woman has no medical training other than to monitor her own diabetes and check her blood sugar. Yet apparently I'm horrible because I'm waiting a few more years to have kids. Yep, cookies, wine, fudge, and some cake for me!

Incidentally, this made for an interesting conversation with DH at my birthday dinner, when I was sipping my margarita and informed him that we apparently would be horrible people if we didn't get me pregnant immediately, so birth control be damned, when we got home he needed to climb aboard. He nearly choked on the enchilada, and I had to prevent him from finding co worker and belting her himself.

kat1114

That's so annoying! I would have had a hard time not giving her a verbal lashing at least.

I have a co-worker who likes to make comments about me being so skinny, my healthy lunches, etc. I've never given blood before and our company had a blood drive last week. We were in the kitchen talking, and I asked some question about giving blood.

She then said "well you have to be at least 100 pounds to give blood. Are you?" I know it's not a huge deal, but it bugged the shit out of me because she likes to make comments that I'm too skinny and don't eat enough.

I'm 5'6 130 pounds. I don't see how you can possibly construe me as being less than 100 pounds. I think it bothered me because she likes to make comments about how I need to gain weight.

larrygaga

This dude who told me he has a Barry White quality of voice. He was trying to be smooth and I was like WHAT I CAN'T HEAR YOU, because I don't hear super well. He thinks talking quietlymeans that he is suave and like barry white. LOL NO 

This also happened after several introductions.

"Wow. Red hair. You must be firey. I'll call you red."

"No, you will call me by my name."

He was so unfazed but he calls me by my name now. I would die of embarrassment if the roles were reversed, especially since I am his superior in the work chain of command. 

I am so cold and bossy to him and yet he still acts like hes got a shot. THE FUCK. 

I am always very flattered and nice when someone is flirtatious. I'm happy they gave it a shot. I have no problem with it, and in fact I'm totally okay with it because it means someone besides FI would bang me.  But after several times of being shut down and several flashes of the engagement ring, it gets really fucking annoying. Harmless flirting intending to go nowhere is okay, but actually going after me after being shut down is not okay.

@chipmunk415 it seems that people take high risk pregnancies, which I am pretty sure isn't a real worry age wise until you are 35, as a fact that you will have a problem and not just a chance of a problem.

That probably doesn't make any sense. 

kat1114 I think she's trying to make you feel as bad as she feels about herself. UGH

loveislouder

"You're nevergoing to fit in your dress if you keep eating like that."

larrygaga

loveislouder said:

"You're nevergoing to fit in your dress if you keep eating like that."

"You're never going to have friends if you keep talking like that"

lurkergirl

Ugh, people are the worst sometimes. 

One of FI's coworkers saw me recently and proclaimed that I had lost a "ton" of weight.  Well, first of all, thanks for making me feel like I was a whale before.  Second, I am maybe 15lbs lighter than the last time you saw me, and it's certainly not a dramatic or drastic change.

In my old law firm job, I had a horrible boss.  As in, borderline abusive--he would lock himself in the office next to where I sat and throw chairs at the wall while yelling and cussing.  He also tried to turn me in to his dogsitter, which I did several times, and when he got upset with me because I declined changing my OOT Thanksgiving plans one year to stay home with his dog (yes, you read that right), I just couldn't take it.  He was the head partner, but I went to the other partner who was our "HR" person (very small office) to discuss how I thought it maybe, just might be, possibly a little bit inappropriate to expect me to change travel plans to dogsit for free over a holiday.  I was advised to get therapy to learn coping techniques for dealing with a difficult boss.  Ummm...pretty sure he's the one in need of therapy.  I was conveniently laid off a month later, on Christmas Eve.  Nice.

climbingsingle

What a rude BEYOTCH. My phone keeps capitalizing that. What the hell? Lol

I used to work with a nasty, racist, perpetually cranky old biddy. One day she asked me what nationality my last name was. When I said French Canadian, she said, "Oh, I hate French Canadians. They're such rude people."
Okay then.

chibiyui

@Larrygaga Oh yay, someone else with a coworker who doesn't understand the line between harmless flirting and bantering and actively trying to get laid when they don't have a shot.

The other week we were walking out at the same time and he commented that I "wear the sexiest hosiery."

Okay. Slightly awkward wording, but whatever. I laugh and say thanks.

He then proceeds to tell me that it "drives him crazy, and thank you."

For the record, the time I actively started distancing myself from this coworker was when I was out celebrating a friends birthday, that he crashed, and after another coworkers anecdote about how I wouldn't cuddle with him when we shared a hotel room at conference, creepy coworker goes "I'm so jealous of him right now, I would give anything to have a night with you." I was very much engaged at the time. 

buttercup1958

Yeah that's weird...I have this one volunteer who annoys the crap out of me. He constantly says things like "I don't know colors as well as women, because they have to choose 50 shades of lipstick unlike men". He says things like that all the time. Unfortunately he shows up and does his job so I can't get rid of him.

ETA: Can't spell

beethery

chibiyui said:

@Larrygaga Oh yay, someone else with a coworker who doesn't understand the line between harmless flirting and bantering and actively trying to get laid when they don't have a shot.

The other week we were walking out at the same time and he commented that I "wear the sexiest hosiery."

Okay. Slightly awkward wording, but whatever. I laugh and say thanks.

He then proceeds to tell me that it "drives him crazy, and thank you."

For the record, the time I actively started distancing myself from this coworker was when I was out celebrating a friends birthday, that he crashed, and after another coworkers anecdote about how I wouldn't cuddle with him when we shared a hotel room at conference, creepy coworker goes "I'm so jealous of him right now, I would give anything to have a night with you." I was very much engaged at the time. 

Fucking EW.

Why in the hell would they think this shit is alright to say?

buttercup1958

beethery  Because those are compliments! I mean isn't men saying they want to have sex with us  the most important thing we strive for?!

sophhabobopha

Groooossss.

There's a mid 60s guy that comes into my store and asks me to go home with him, fuck him, etc. Puuke.

chibiyui

beethery said:

chibiyui said:

@Larrygaga Oh yay, someone else with a coworker who doesn't understand the line between harmless flirting and bantering and actively trying to get laid when they don't have a shot.

The other week we were walking out at the same time and he commented that I "wear the sexiest hosiery."

Okay. Slightly awkward wording, but whatever. I laugh and say thanks.

He then proceeds to tell me that it "drives him crazy, and thank you."

For the record, the time I actively started distancing myself from this coworker was when I was out celebrating a friends birthday, that he crashed, and after another coworkers anecdote about how I wouldn't cuddle with him when we shared a hotel room at conference, creepy coworker goes "I'm so jealous of him right now, I would give anything to have a night with you." I was very much engaged at the time. 

Fucking EW.

Why in the hell would they think this shit is alright to say?

Fuck if I know. 

Also like, dude, you dated two of my friends. I've heard about your skills and abilities and I am unimpressed.

sophhabobopha said:

Groooossss.

There's a mid 60s guy that comes into my store and asks me to go home with him, fuck him, etc. Puuke.

Ugh. I'm thankful that those customers are single incidents for me. I've never had the repeat offenders.

sophhabobopha

chibiyui said:

beethery said:

chibiyui said:

@Larrygaga Oh yay, someone else with a coworker who doesn't understand the line between harmless flirting and bantering and actively trying to get laid when they don't have a shot.

The other week we were walking out at the same time and he commented that I "wear the sexiest hosiery."

Okay. Slightly awkward wording, but whatever. I laugh and say thanks.

He then proceeds to tell me that it "drives him crazy, and thank you."

For the record, the time I actively started distancing myself from this coworker was when I was out celebrating a friends birthday, that he crashed, and after another coworkers anecdote about how I wouldn't cuddle with him when we shared a hotel room at conference, creepy coworker goes "I'm so jealous of him right now, I would give anything to have a night with you." I was very much engaged at the time. 

Fucking EW.

Why in the hell would they think this shit is alright to say?

Fuck if I know. 

Also like, dude, you dated two of my friends. I've heard about your skills and abilities and I am unimpressed.

sophhabobopha said:

Groooossss.

There's a mid 60s guy that comes into my store and asks me to go home with him, fuck him, etc. Puuke.

Ugh. I'm thankful that those customers are single incidents for me. I've never had the repeat offenders.

I refuse to serve him.

WinstonsGirl

During my 1 possibly preggo scare, my close CW asked if I was ok.  I said I wasn't feeling well and he said that maybe I was preggo.  I gave him a look and said I might be.  He knows how much we don't want kids.  He did apologize after though and said he'd never ask again, which he hasn't.  

The other guy I've mentioned before keeps asking when I'm getting KU.  He's got 4 kids and thinks kids are the shiz.  I finally told him we've been trying and launched into details about my sex life and positions (most of it completely fabricated).  He practically ran out of the staff room and hasn't asked since.  

And my Principal just doesn't get cheer.  He's never been at a school with a cheer team and doesn't see how having 65 kids involved in a school sport that does well is good for the school.  He'll often say things such as, "Cheerleaders.  Hmm.  We should just send them all to Borneo" or other stupid stuff.  He doesn't seem to get that he's talking about his 9-13 year old students who feel like they have a place to belong at at our school.  He's slowly coming around though.  Very slowly

charlieyankee03

I have a coworker that's well into his 50's or 60's and is married with some unknown number of kids. However, he is always creeping on the women in the office and thinks that walking up behind me and giving me a shoulder massage is appropriate. He comments when I wear high heels about how sexy they are, and he sends me messages on the office communicator about how gorgeous I'm looking. 

He also has a glass eye. If I have to go ask him a question, I get one eye staring at my face and the other staring at my boobs. I have no idea which one he sees out of. 

I went to management after he followed me down the hallway as I was leaving because I "didn't say bye". What the fuck? I had no reason to speak to you today. Management did nothing, so now I avoid him like the plague. If I have a maintenance issue with one of his aircraft, I ask one of the other guys to handle it.

FiancB

Well I have a coworker from Liberia and another from Nigeria and I can't understand a thing they say, especially the Liberian one. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I just really suck at comprehending accents. I nod a lot. 

I usually work alone or with one other person, so I don't have many coworkers. I hear crazy stuff from clients,, but given that I work at a group home that's to be expected. 

I did take a pharmacy delivery the other day and the first thing the guy says to me is "no offense, but you have REALLY big, muscular calves". I don't take offense because I like my legs and they are indeed huge and muscular, and I was wearing jegging and uggs making them seem even huger and muculareyer, but that's kind of a weird thing to say to someone you just met. 

Inkdancer

Shit like this makes me so glad I work in a library, where I can shush people.

KytchynWitche

Oh I could tell you all some horror stories. 

I once had a guy "steal" (I dunno what else to call it) my number off the staff roster at the store where I worked. I had served him a couple of times, and we had spoken about what it's like to have to live with mental illness and how it affects job opportunities and all that, and he seemed really nice. Until I started getting calls and texts at all hours because he wanted to "hang out". It got to the point where my manager was coming in when he wasn't scheduled to be there, just so I wouldn't be there alone. I eventually had to change my number, and you can be damn sure I moved the staff roster so it wasn't visible to customers anymore.

At the same store, I had another "admirer". He was really not so bad, he was just old (not Dad-old, but like Grandfather-old, and not sexy older man old either) and I really don't know how he thought he had a chance. But through a series of events he found out that I'm really into trivia (as is he), and I was going through a chai tea phase (as was he), and he used to come in all the time and not buy/rent anything, "just doing my groceries and thought I'd say hi". Fine, whatevs, he's a customer and I'm nice to customers. But he would sometimes call the store to reserve films and he has what the other guys on staff used to call "rapist voice" on the phone - really low and breathy, like he was doing things one should not be doing while reserving a copy of Sophie's Choice... It was slightly creepy, but he never did anything more than invite me to tea, which I politely refused.

Different store (2nd hand book store/exchange), but again one where I almost always worked alone. I had a guy come in and reserve our only copy of Hitler's medical diaries - the store specialized in history books, especially war-related books. I told him I could only hold it for 1 week before it had to go back on the shelf. He said his salary would only be clear in 10 days, so could I PLEASE hold it for him until then. I knew he was a fairly respected professor at the local uni, so I said I'd hold it for him for 10 days, but that was the best I could do because my boss would kill me if he knew I'd kept a "rare" book off the shelf that long, and he agreed. He eventually showed up almost 3 weeks later and was mad as hell that the book wasn't in the "reserved" cupboard anymore. I told him I was sorry but I had explained the situation and I couldn't hold it any longer without risking my job. In any case, no one else had been looking for it, so it was still there. He bought it, and as I was writing the sale down in the log so I could remove the book from our website, he said "You look Jewish. You're not Jewish, are you?" I said no, and he responded with, "Well good. You know they're all liars anyway. The holocaust never happened, and all of those people died of TB and typhoid." I literally could not even process that. I just showed him out of the store, locked up, crawled under my desk and sat there going WTF?! for an hour. You guys, evil is out there, and it looks like a totally normal college professor.

buttercup1958

KytchynWitche said:

Oh I could tell you all some horror stories. 

I once had a guy "steal" (I dunno what else to call it) my number off the staff roster at the store where I worked. I had served him a couple of times, and we had spoken about what it's like to have to live with mental illness and how it affects job opportunities and all that, and he seemed really nice. Until I started getting calls and texts at all hours because he wanted to "hang out". It got to the point where my manager was coming in when he wasn't scheduled to be there, just so I wouldn't be there alone. I eventually had to change my number, and you can be damn sure I moved the staff roster so it wasn't visible to customers anymore.

At the same store, I had another "admirer". He was really not so bad, he was just old (not Dad-old, but like Grandfather-old, and not sexy older man old either) and I really don't know how he thought he had a chance. But through a series of events he found out that I'm really into trivia (as is he), and I was going through a chai tea phase (as was he), and he used to come in all the time and not buy/rent anything, "just doing my groceries and thought I'd say hi". Fine, whatevs, he's a customer and I'm nice to customers. But he would sometimes call the store to reserve films and he has what the other guys on staff used to call "rapist voice" on the phone - really low and breathy, like he was doing things one should not be doing while reserving a copy of Sophie's Choice... It was slightly creepy, but he never did anything more than invite me to tea, which I politely refused.

Different store (2nd hand book store/exchange), but again one where I almost always worked alone. I had a guy come in and reserve our only copy of Hitler's medical diaries - the store specialized in history books, especially war-related books. I told him I could only hold it for 1 week before it had to go back on the shelf. He said his salary would only be clear in 10 days, so could I PLEASE hold it for him until then. I knew he was a fairly respected professor at the local uni, so I said I'd hold it for him for 10 days, but that was the best I could do because my boss would kill me if he knew I'd kept a "rare" book off the shelf that long, and he agreed. He eventually showed up almost 3 weeks later and was mad as hell that the book wasn't in the "reserved" cupboard anymore. I told him I was sorry but I had explained the situation and I couldn't hold it any longer without risking my job. In any case, no one else had been looking for it, so it was still there. He bought it, and as I was writing the sale down in the log so I could remove the book from our website, he said "You look Jewish. You're not Jewish, are you?" I said no, and he responded with, "Well good. You know they're all liars anyway. The holocaust never happened, and all of those people died of TB and typhoid." I literally could not even process that. I just showed him out of the store, locked up, crawled under my desk and sat there going WTF?! for an hour. You guys, evil is out there, and it looks like a totally normal college professor.

.....I honestly don't know what to say.

dcbride86

Why are so many people so interested in when we do or do not have unprotected sex?  Seriously??

I KNOW that I'll start to get those questions pretty soon after I get married.  I expect them from my grandmother, but that's fine.  She's 89, so she's allowed to say whatever she wants.  But ugh - I know my mom will get involved pretty soon after we get married, as will his family.  They've already started making comments about how I'm "practicing" when I hold or play with my future neices and nephews.  Um, no.  I'm just helping you out.  I'm not practicing,

okulew29

Not as bad or creepy as some of these, but there is one guy I work with, probably in his late 20's, who is just an ass.  He has called me fat to my face, and has straight up told another co-worker he hated her hair and it was ugly.  Sometimes I just dont understand how people go through life without getting slapped in the face.  Or how someone is raised to be that straight up rude.

LondonLisa

I was witness to a similar situation at work where an older woman kept harassing this newly wed woman about when she was having a baby. Finally, after bringing it up AGAIN in front of everyone in the office before a meeting this young woman snapped back: "Moira, if you are that interested in the goings-on of other women's reproductive areas, may I suggest you retrain as a midwife as the rest of us would like to discuss our actual work."

That shut her up very quick. 

larrygaga

LondonLisa said:

I was witness to a similar situation at work where an older woman kept harassing this newly wed woman about when she was having a baby. Finally, after bringing it up AGAIN in front of everyone in the office before a meeting this young woman snapped back: "Moira, if you are that interested in the goings-on of other women's reproductive areas, may I suggest you retrain as a midwife as the rest of us would like to discuss our actual work."

That shut her up very quick. 

Does she hang out here?

emmaaa

I work with seniors. One of my gentlemen is 90 years old and wants to set me up with his grandson. I've told him I'm getting married and he said it doesn't matter because his grandson is handsome and rich. At first it was funny and now he doesn't let up. Bean dip anyone?

larrygaga

emmaaa said:

I work with seniors. One of my gentlemen is 90 years old and wants to set me up with his grandson. I've told him I'm getting married and he said it doesn't matter because his grandson is handsome and rich. At first it was funny and now he doesn't let up. Bean dip anyone?

I love this!! I have a similar story you reminded me of.

I also work with seniors and mine have dementia. I was speaking with this man and his son when suddenly the man started talking about his son and I getting married and what our kids would look like and how we should hug for a picture. I wanted to die it was so embarrassing. The son was trying to get him to shut up and was like I'm way too old for her! He had to be about 25 years older than me at least. 

I love old people. 

emmaaa

larrygaga said:

emmaaa said:

I work with seniors. One of my gentlemen is 90 years old and wants to set me up with his grandson. I've told him I'm getting married and he said it doesn't matter because his grandson is handsome and rich. At first it was funny and now he doesn't let up. Bean dip anyone?

I love this!! I have a similar story you reminded me of.

I also work with seniors and mine have dementia. I was speaking with this man and his son when suddenly the man started talking about his son and I getting married and what our kids would look like and how we should hug for a picture. I wanted to die it was so embarrassing. The son was trying to get him to shut up and was like I'm way too old for her! He had to be about 25 years older than me at least. 

I love old people. 

Old people really are the best. Most of the men want me to marry their son/grandson and the women want me to be their granddaughter.

flutteringinfl

I had a "what the hell did you just say" moment a couple months ago at work. It wasn't a big deal in retrospect but at the time it super bugged me. There's this older gentleman who basically does the same job as me but on another campus. We have the same boss. On this day we were having a meeting with her, and the subject got brought up that she had recently been promoted and had a new title (Director), though her duties are pretty much the same.

So dude, who has a PhD, says to our boss, "So you're Director (name), I'm Dr. (name)," then he looks at me and says, "And you're Princess (name)!"

I made a joke out of it and politely said, "Nahh, how about just [my title]?" I'm sure he had no ill intentions but it's annoying how people don't realize how "compliments" like that really belittle people. Just because I'm young and female doesn't mean I want to be a "princess."

This guy is just odd in general, though. The other week we were all at a meeting to learn about a new version of a software we use, and the IT guys were saying how they were going to be ordering devices to scan student ID cards (which will make using the software much easier), and this guy says, with all seriousness, "Will it beep?"

NowIamMrsKlein

At my FI's work christmas party last week I won a door prize. One of the owners of the company was handing them out. Now I've met this guy a couple times. He's pretty down to earth for being a quatrillion-are company owner. But he tends to lose his filter when drinking.

Anyways. I go up to the front and he gives me a prize and goes in for a side-hug. I was like. awwkkwaardd. But whats the harm right? I didn't want to look like a bitch in front of the entire company. He leans in and whispers to me "Why don't i come home with you tonight and help you unwrap that?" He was totally joking but SO UNCOOL.

Apparently I just look absolutely horrified. I got back to my table and my FI was like "What on earth did he say to you? your face just went completely red and you looked so uncomfortable!" FI was pretty unimpressed but knew the guy was just joking. 

I have to admit though that I was looking pretty damn freaking hot. But still. Ugh. 

carrie0924

Oh geeze so many of these.....
I have the cranky old bitch of a co-worker who NEVER stops whining, complaining, giving her opinions when not asked, and doling out gems like "Never get married and NEVER NEVER have kids! It will ruin your life." She has two children from two failed marriages. I knew sooner or later I would get to come in one day and tell her "I'm engaged" and it would finally stop the "Never get married!" talk (it did).
I also have the creepy as fuck salesrep who, THANK GOD, lives & works out of an office several states away. He comes to the main office where I work for 3-4 days each month. I don't work in his department, but I work closely with his department. It's work that doesn't require his involvement. I work very very well with the men in his department, but I absolutely loathe him. He is an absolute grease ball. He makes the most disgusting comments, and gives me the most disgusting looks. He once texted me that he needed to find a local girlfriend for when he's in town. It was very very clear he was seeing if I would sleep with him when he's in town. He is one of those guys who doesn't take "I'm in a very happy, monogamous, long term relationship" as a no. I was very happy when I could throw my ring in his face and tell him I'm engaged. He wasn't as creepy for a while, until his last visit a month ago, when he finally noticed I've lost 35 pounds this year. He looked me up and down, at close range, and went on and on about how good I look and how my clothes are practically falling off of me. I'll take compliments about my weight loss any day, from anybody, but the way he said it made me want to gain it all back.
I also had the creepy customer when I was a restaurant manager. He mistook customer service for customer service. He got my phone number somehow and started texted me regularly when I wasn't at work, complaining about his food. Um? Tell the manager on duty. There's nothing I can do. I ran into him and his super creepy friends at a trendy bar one night. This was soon after the restaurant where I'd met him closed, and I was trashed, so I let him have it. It was so cathartic to tell him that a restaurant employee, whose first priority is customer satisfaction, is NOT hitting on you when they smile and tell you to enjoy your dinner or gets you extra dressing for your salad.

climbingsingle

My co-worker is ranting and raving right now about a payroll problem we had with this kid's check. She goes, "I'm going to sit on his face. And fart." 

She's 65 BTW.