Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

Photography Regrets

I feel like a brat complaining about my wedding in any way, shape, or form, because it was lovely and everyone worked really hard to pull it off. I am so very grateful for everything everyone did, particularly our parents and the wedding party.

I do have these nagging regrets about the pictures though.The thing is, I was so dead set on my groom not seeing me before the wedding that I refused to do the portraits with him and the groomsmen before the ceremony. Well the hair and make up ran late, so we had to rush through  my portraits with the ladies, and then a combination of the sun setting and rain storms moving through meant that we ran out of light to take pictures outdoors after just a few shots in one spot. Our venue had five acres of gardens with so many gorgeous backdrops, and we didn't use most of them. Also, in the rush to get the pictures done, because the guests had no where to go but the barn once the rain started and we were hogging it up with our pictures, I think we forgot to take some of the ones I really wanted, like the wedding party all together. I mean that's such a basic shot... how could I have forgotten it?

The whole process was just very stressful. My photographer asked multiple times if there were any other shots I wanted before she left, but by that time everyone had started dancing, I was sweaty and tired, and I just said we were fine. Now I really regret it. I'll never have that opportunity again. I think adding to the stress is that I haven't seen any of the pictures yet (our wedding was just a couple weeks ago). Our photographer is very talented, but I'm afraid we missed a lot and that the ones we did get will be lame because they were taken inside rather than in the gorgeous gardens. I am really regretting not scheduling the ceremony earlier in the day to leave two hours for photographs instead of just one. 

Mostly I'm just whining; I don't really think there's a solution. It's just that every time I think of it, I feel disappointed and anxious. Kind of ridiculous really. Anyone else have any nagging post-wedding regrets?

Re: Photography Regrets

  • I had very similar thoughts/issues after my wedding. I apparently didn't budget enough time in the morning to do pictures. We did a first look, but then my MOH was running so behind, that we didn't get to do as many group shots I wanted. People started showing up to my venue WAY earlier than planned, and I didn't want everyone to see me. So, I had to hide in the bridal suite until we were ready to begin. 

    Then our plan was to take pictures after the receiving line and during the cocktail hour. Well, it ended up being SO hot that day. By the time we were done with the receiving line, H and I were both dripping with sweat. I told the photographer that there was no way we could now do more posed pictures looking like we did. We hightailed it back to the bridal suite to freshen up. But before we knew it, the cocktail hour was over, and we had to go into the dining room. 

    I didn't get any posed pictures with my extended family. None with H's either. For about 2 weeks after the wedding, I was really upset. But my photographer still got some amazing shots. The ones I love most are the candid shots he took during the day. There's obviously nothing I can do to go back and change it, so I just have to accept it and move on. All in all, I'm extremely happy with how the day went. And most importantly, I'm married to most wonderful man. I promise, any regrets you have will eventually fade. Try focusing on the things you loved about the day. 
  • I missed three photos I desperately wanted. I put together a list on pinterst thinking my photographers would look at it. That was silly, I should have handed them a physical list the morning of. I wanted a photo of the back of my dress with the jacket that I wore to the ceremony. A photo of my MIL, my mother and my wedding bands, and a couple of staged getting ready photos. My mom was super late and I wanted her there when I put on my dress and that held everything up. I should have scheduled better, should have been on the photographers to get shots done that I wasn't in before I got changed. There's a list of little things I would have done differently. Ah well. Can't go back and fix it, but there are still some great shots we did get. Doesn't change the amazing day we had.
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
  • Thanks ladies. I'm sure once I see my photographer's shots, I will feel better. She probably did a great job anyway. 

    Beautiful shots CBN!
  • I have had similar feelings about my photos but in my case, I really have no photos of my wedding party and none of me with my bridesmaids. My photographer was just a family friend with a good camera because I didn't have the money to pay a professional. Most of the pictures didn't turn out.

    I was so stressed out the day of my wedding that I completely forgot a few of the shots I really wanted and my wedding party was not cooperating. (they wanted to go inside and drink lol)

    I just tell myself that the important thing is that I am married to a wonderful man and we had a fun night celebrating. Nothing else really matters!
  • If it makes you feel any better, we had the time, the plan, and the wonderful photographer. We did a first look. It rained. It stopped. We did the bridal party and my half of the family. It POURED BUCKETS and I got stuck sitting in a 78 convertible by myself for 20 minutes until it stopped raining and I could come inside (there was a newly-discovered leak over the drivers seat so I couldn't have company unless they wanted to get wet). And then... My husband got sick from nerves and not eating (and then from eating decade-old crackers from his grandmothers pantry!). Needless to say, the pictures of his half of the family were taken in the midst of the reception, while we all stood with his grandparents at their table. My dad spent months getting his car (that 78 I was just discussing) in solid order, and hours getting it loaded onto a trailer and I swear to you- I don't think there's a single picture with me and my husband and the car, because about the time those were going to get taken, my husband was getting sick and I started crying because I was so worried about him and his groomsmen/the photographers/everyone ever was trying to spare me seeing him sick, and I just wanted to make sure he was okay.
  • Oh my gosh Wegl13! I am so sorry about that. It does make me feel a little better though... the best laid plans... Cuz what bothers me is feeling like I could have done things differently to get a better outcome, but maybe not. Who knows. Nothing to do about it now. 

    You should totally put your wedding dress back on, rent your hubs a tux, and re-do the photo shoot with that car though. Make sure he doesn't eat any ancient crackers beforehand. ;)
  • The photographer took a shot with both our wedding rings, sitting on the side mirror, with rain drops all over it. It's so telling of the day, and I love it. And my husband started feeling better about an hour to half an hour before the ceremony started, so she didn't have to photoshop out him having a green face while he married me. :-). I'm happy!
  • I have similar feelings. My photographer didn't get the groomsmen w/ my hubby on their own (only with the whole bridal party). I know that I said I wanted those prior to the day, but on the day of it didn't occur to me to say something. The same with some photos of my extended family. I wish I had had the presence of mind to point out family members to make sure they were taken, or to tell him to take a  photo of every table together (at least whoever was sitting there, since people were dancing). I know some people had their phones and cameras out so I am sure those guest photos are floating around somewhere.

    I've done an okay job with cropping the girls out of some bridal party photos to kind of get the look I wanted with the groomsmen, but I feel disappointed because their portfolio is full of cool groomsmen shots and I didn't get any.  What wedding photographer doesn't think to take those shots??
  • Our photographer missed a picture of me with my mom.  We're super close and stuff happened so fast that we didn't get that shot and didn't realize it until we got the pictures back from her.  We didn't do a first look, so we were totally rushing to squeeze in our shots during cocktails.
  • My sister realized after her wedding that we never got a picture of just me, my sister, and our mom. Our mom functioned most of our lives like a single mom, despite being married to our dad and then our step dad, so it was sad to not have that pictures of just the three of us. So, wise married ladies, some advice for those planning, I'm gleaning would be: 

    1. If you possibly can come to terms with seeing each other before the wedding, do a first look. 

    2. Budget more time you think you need prior to the ceremony for pictures and try to get as many shots done as possible. 

    3. Take note of the weather and change your plans accordingly, ie, if it's supposed to rain, try to get shots in before the rain, and have a back up plan. 

    4. Provide the photographer a list of shots and make sure you ask if they've been taken, or have someone else ask. 

    What else would we say? 
  • I mean I think the best way to make sure everything works out is to not skimp on a photographer (seriously), send them a must have list, listen to their advice, and just chill.
  • I think it's really common to have some regret surrounding wedding day photos. My wedding was this past September and I got all my pictures back. They came out beautiful, and I'm really happy with all of the moments my photogs captured, and nothing was lacking with their shots of the people (including me and my groom). 

    What I am very disappointed about are the lack of detail shots they got. They are really talented and I discussed with them the shots I wanted. I trusted them on my wedding day and it didn't cross my mind to remind them to get these shots. They got some details (like my bouquet, centerpieces, and the cake), but I really would have liked more shots of our escort card table, favors, or ANY of our candy bar, guest book, other favors we had like matchbooks and cigars, the signs we made ourselves, etc. I realize now I should have been more specific with them. I told them I wanted "detail shots" but in hindsight, I should have included this in the shot list and specified exactly what details shots I wanted.  

    As happy as I was with the pics they did take, I was extremely disappointed to see these shots missing. I was hoping to submit our wedding to some of the popular wedding blogs, but with the lack of detail shots, I don't know if it will get published. Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do now but be grateful that I had a beautiful wedding to my amazing husband and that I love all the shots they did get. 
  • For what it's worth--I was a BM in a wedding that had HOURS of photos before the ceremony. Hours and hours. The photos look great. But you know what? I was so exhausted (had to get up early for hair and makeup, and then the ENTIRE day was spent doing photos) by the time the reception came around that I really barely had fun. It was otherwise a good wedding with fun people, so I kept thinking, "Wow, I'd really be having fun right now if I weren't so tired." 

    I know that it's possible to strike a balance, but the moral is: You had a wonderful wedding. I'm sure some photos will turn out great. You really don't need a picture in front of every backdrop. As long as some pictures turn out, you'll be fine. 
  • I know how you feel when it comes on to your wedding pictures. It's so important that it's do everything right the first time because there are no second, third or fourth try.
    My photographer, a camera did not take most of our reception pictures. It took from the beginning of the speeches and didn't take pictures again until the open floor dancing. Anything in between her camera drive did not pick up. Fortunately we had a second photographer and our friends photos.
  • Wanted to thank all the new posters for their support! The photographer is backlogged from the holidays and the wedding season heating up (in FL everyone gets married in the winter because it's too hot in the summer) but she is shooting to have my gallery ready by the end of the week. I'm super nervous but in a way, it's good to have low expectations, because then I can be pleasantly surprised! 
  • Well y'all, turns out I shouldn't have worried... I LOVE the way the pictures came out!!! 

    justcallmesamson[Deleted User]
  • Wow what a lovely place to get married!
  • Thank you! I LOVED it. I highly recommend The Walton House to any South Florida brides looking for a unique wedding venue. There are monkeys and birds on the property which the guests LOVE but they can be a little loud at times so if you're a very high-strung, particular bride it might not be your jam, but it was perfect for us. Like a tropical rain forrest with an adorable princess cottage. 
  • Stunning photos elleC14!

    I had a list of photos we wanted, didn't pretty good, but we still forgot pictures with some people!

    The second shooter was late getting to where DH was getting ready so there aren't any shots of DH with his groomsmen, and our wedding party photos are pretty limited (mostly several shots of one pose). We also missed some family groupings. C'est la vie!

    I would recommend making a list of the photos one wants and not to skimp on the photographer! 
  • @elleC14 Wow!!  Those pics are just stunning!  I love the venue, your dress, everything!  I hope any regrets you had have faded away
  • Oh my gosh! I am so glad I found this thread! My wedding was Saturday and I've been sad about wedding photos ever since. I had a co-worker do them and it was the same thing... Things ran late, we had to rush. I didn't get any of the shots I wanted. She took us to the brightest, sunniest spot she could find, so we were all squinting. I'm miserable! I haven't seen all of them yet, but the ones I've seen I don't like.

    I've already contacted the person at our wedding venue and she is going to let us come back to take some more photos of just me and him. The plus is that I get to dress up in my gown again! This time, I will hire a professional. 
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